The Three Clerks by Anthony Trollope

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He made an effort to assume his ordinary demeanour, and partially
succeeded. He went at once up to his drawing-room, and there he
found Charley and Gertrude waiting dinner for him; luckily he had
no other guests.

'Are you ill, Alaric?' said Gertrude, directly she saw him.

'Ill! No,' said he; 'only fagged, dearest; fagged and worried,
and badgered and bored; but, thank God, not ill;' and he
endeavoured to put on his usual face, and speak in his usual
tone. 'I have kept you waiting most unmercifully for your dinner,
Charley; but then I know you navvies always lunch on mutton
chops.'

'Oh, I am not particularly in a hurry,' said Charley; 'but I deny
the lunch. This has been a bad season for mutton chops in the
neighbourhood of Somerset House; somehow they have not grown this
year.'

Alaric ran up to prepare for dinner, and his wife followed him.

'Oh! Alaric,' said she, 'you are so pale: what is the matter? Do
tell me,' and she put her arm through his, took hold of his hand,
and looked up into his face.

'The matter! Nothing is the matter--a man can't always be
grinning;' and he gently shook her off, and walked through their
bedroom to his own dressing-room. Having entered it he shut the
door, and then, sitting down, bowed his head upon a small table
and buried it in his hands. All the world seemed to go round and
round with him; he was giddy, and he felt that he could not
stand.

Gertrude paused a moment in the bedroom to consider, and then
followed him. 'What is it you want?' said he, as soon as he heard
the handle turn, 'do leave me alone for one moment. I am fagged
with the heat, and I want one minute's rest.'

'Oh, Alaric, I see you are ill,' said she. 'For God's sake do not
send me from you,' and coming into the room she knelt down beside
his chair. 'I know you are suffering, Alaric; do let me do
something for you.'

He longed to tell her everything. He panted to share his sorrows
with one other bosom; to have one near him to whom he could speak
openly of everything, to have one counsellor in his trouble. In
that moment he all but resolved to disclose everything to her,
but at last he found that he could not do it. Charley was there
waiting for his dinner; and were he now to tell his secret to his
wife, neither of them, neither he nor she, would be able to act
the host or hostess. If done at all, it could not at any rate be
done at the present moment.

'I am better now,' said he, giving a long and deep sigh; and then
he threw his arms round his wife and passionately embraced her.
'My own angel, my best, best love, how much too good or much too
noble you are for such a husband as I am!'

'I wish I could be good enough for you,' she replied, as she
began to arrange his things for dressing. 'You are so tired,
dearest; wash your hands and come down--don't trouble yourself to
dress this evening; unless, indeed, you are going out again.'

'Gertrude,' said he, 'if there be a soul on earth that has not in
it a spark of what is good or generous, it is the soul of Undy
Scott;' and so saying he began the operations of his toilet.

Now Gertrude had never liked Undy Scott; she had attributed to
him whatever faults her husband might have as a husband; and at
the present moment she was not inclined to fight for any of the
Scott family.

'He is a very worldly man, I think,' said she.

'Worldly!--no--but hellish,' said Alaric; 'hellish, and damnable,
and fiendish.'

'Oh, Alaric, what has he done?'

'Never mind; I cannot tell you; he has done nothing. It is not
that he has done anything, or can do anything to me--but his
heart--but never mind--I wish--I wish I had never seen him.'

'Alaric, if it be about money tell me the worst, and I'll bear it
without a murmur. As long as you are well I care for nothing
else--have you given up your place?'

'No, dearest, no; I can keep my place. It is nothing about that.
I have lost no money; I have rather made money. It is the
ingratitude of that man which almost kills me. But come, dearest,
we will go down to Charley. And Gertrude, mind this, be quite
civil to Mrs. Val at present. We will break from the whole set
before long; but in the meantime I would have you be very civil
to Mrs. Val.'

And so they went down to dinner, and Alaric, after taking a glass
of wine, played his part almost as though he had no weight upon
his soul. After dinner he drank freely, and as he drank his
courage rose. 'Why should I tell her?' he said to himself as he
went to bed. 'The chances are that all will yet go well.'

CHAPTER XXXV

MRS. VAL'S NEW CARRIAGE

On the next morning Alaric went to his office without speaking
further as to the trouble on his mind, and endeavoured to comfort
himself as best he might as he walked down to his office. Then he
had also to decide whether it would better suit his purpose to
sell out at once and pay up every shilling that he could, or
whether he would hold on, and hope that Undy's predictions would
be fulfilled, and that the bridge shares would go on rising till
they would sell for all that was required of him.

Unfortunate man! what would he have given now to change his
position for Norman's single clerkship, or even for Charley's
comparative poverty!

Gertrude stayed within all day; but not all day in solitude.
About four in the afternoon the Hon. Mrs. Val called, and with
her came her daughter Clem, now Madame Jaquetanape, and the two
Misses Neverbend. M. Jaquetanape had since his marriage made
himself very agreeable to his honourable mother-in-law, so much
so that he now occupied the place in her good graces which Undy
had formerly filled, and which after Undy's reign had fallen to
Alaric's lot. Mrs. Val liked to have about her some confidential
gentleman; and as she never thought of placing her confidence in
her husband, she was prone to select first one man and then
another as her taste and interest dictated. Immediately after
their marriage, Victoire and Clem had consented to join
housekeeping with their parent. Nothing could be more pleasant
than this; their income was unembarrassed, and Mrs. Val, for the
first time in her life, was able to set up her carriage. Among
the effects arising from this cause, the female Neverbends, who
had lately been worshippers of Gertrude, veered round in their
idolatry, and paid their vows before Mrs. Val's new yellow
panels. In this new carriage now came the four ladies to pay a
morning visit to Mrs. Tudor. It was wonderful to see into how
small dimensions the Misses Neverbend had contrived to pack, not
themselves, but their crinoline.

As has before been hinted, Gertrude did not love Mrs. Val; nor
did she love Clem the danseuse; nor did she specially love the
Misses Neverbend. They were all of a class essentially different
from that in which she had been brought up; and, moreover, Mrs.
Val was not content to allow Gertrude into her set without ruling
over her, or at any rate patronizing her. Gertrude had borne with
them all for her husband's sake; and was contented to do so yet
for a while longer, but she thought in her heart that she would
be able to draw some consolation from her husband's misfortune if
it should be the means of freeing her from Mrs. Val.

'Oh, my dear,' said Mrs. Val, throwing herself down into a sofa
as though she were exhausted--'what a dreadful journey it is to
you up here! How those poor horses will stand it this weather I
don't know, but it nearly kills me; it does indeed.' The Tudors,
as has been said, lived in one of the quiet streets of Westbournia,
not exactly looking into Hyde Park, but very near to it; Mrs. Val,
on the other hand, lived in Ebury Street, Pimlico; her house was
much inferior to that of the Tudors; it was small, ill built, and
afflicted with all the evils which bad drainage and bad ventilation
can produce; but then it was reckoned to be within the precincts
of Belgravia, and was only five minutes' walk from Buckingham
Palace. Mrs. Val, therefore, had fair ground for twitting her dear
friend with living so far away from the limits of fashion. 'You really
must come down somewhat nearer to the world; indeed you must,
my dear,' said the Hon. Mrs. Val.

'We are thinking of moving; but then we are talking of going to
St. John's Wood, or Islington,' said Gertrude, wickedly.

'Islington!' said the Honourable Mrs. Val, nearly fainting.

'Is not Islington and St. Giles' the same place?' asked the
innocent Clem, with some malice, however, to counterbalance her
innocence.

'O no!' said Lactimel. 'St Giles' is where the poor wretched
starving Irish dwell. Their utter misery in the middle of this
rich metropolis is a crying disgrace to the Prime Minister.' Poor
Badger, how much he has to bear! 'Only think,' continued
Lactimel, with a soft pathetic drawl, 'they have none to feed
them, none to clothe them, none to do for them!'

'It is a great question,' said Ugolina, 'whether promiscuous
charity is a blessing or a curse. It is probably the greatest
question of the age. I myself am inclined to think--'

'But, ma,' said Madame Jaquetanape, 'Mrs. Tudor doesn't really
mean that she is going to live at St. Giles', does she?'

'I said Islington,' said Gertrude. 'We may go to St. Giles' next,
perhaps.' Had she known all, how dreadful would such jokes have
been to her!

Mrs. Val saw that she was being quizzed, and, not liking it,
changed the conversation. 'Ugolina,' said she, 'might I trouble
you to look out of the front window? I hope those stupid men of
mine are not letting the horses stand still. They were so warm
coming here, that they will be sure to catch cold.' The stupid
men, however, were round the corner at the public-house, and
Ugolina could only report that as she did not see them she
supposed the horses were walking about.

'And so,' said Mrs. Val, 'Mr. Tudor is thinking of resigning his
place at the Civil Service Board, and standing for that borough
of Lord Gaberlunzie's, in Aberdeenshire?'

'I really cannot say,' said Gertrude; 'but I believe he has some
idea of going into Parliament. I rather believe he will continue
to hold his place.'

'Oh, that I know to be impossible! I was told that by a gentleman
who has been much longer in the service than Mr. Tudor, and who
understands all its bearings.' She here alluded to Fidus
Neverbend.

'I cannot say,' said Gertrude. 'I do not think Mr. Tudor has
quite made up his mind yet.'

'Well, my dear, I'll tell you fairly what I think about it. You
know the regard I have for you and Mr. Tudor. He, too, is
Clementina's trustee; that is to say, her fortune is partly
consigned to his care; so I cannot but have a very great interest
about him, and be very anxious that he should do well. Now, my
dear, I'll tell you fairly what I think, and what all the world
is saying. He ought not to think of Parliament. He ought not,
indeed, my dear. I speak for your sake, and your child's. He is
not a man of fortune, and he ought not to think of Parliament. He
has a very fine situation, and he really should be contented.'

This was intolerable to Gertrude. She felt that she must put Mrs.
Val down, and yet she hardly knew how to do it without being
absolutely rude; whereas her husband had specially begged her to
be civil to this woman at present. 'Oh,' said she, with a slight
smile, 'Mr. Tudor will be able to take care of himself; you will
find, I hope, that there is no cause for uneasiness.'

'Well, I hope not, I am sure I hope not,' said Mrs. Val, looking
very grave. 'But I tell you fairly that the confidence which we
all have in your husband will be much shaken if he does anything
rash. He should think of this, you know. He has no private
fortune to back him; we must remember that.'

Gertrude became very red in the face; but she would not trust
herself to answer Mrs. Val at the spur of the moment.

'It makes such a difference, when one has got no private
fortune,' said Madame Jaquetanape, the heiress. 'Does it not,
Lactimel?'

'Oh, indeed it does,' said Lactimel. 'I wish every one had a
private fortune; it would be so nice, wouldn't it?'

'There would be very little poetry in the world if you were to
banish poverty,' said Ugolina. 'Poverty may be called the parent
of poetry. Look at Milton, how poor he was; and Homer, he begged
his bread.'

'But Lord Byron was not a beggar,' said Clem, contemptuously.

'I do hope Mr. Tudor will think of what he is doing,' continued
Mrs. Val. 'It is certainly most good-natured and most disinterested
of my dear father-in-law, Lord Gaberlunzie, to place his borough
at Mr. Tudor's disposal. It is just like him, dear good old nobleman.
But, my dear, it will be a thousand pities if Mr. Tudor should be
led on by his lordship's kindness to bring about his own ruin.'

Mrs. Val had once in her life seen his good-natured lordship.
Soon after her marriage she had insisted on Captain Val taking
her down to the family mansion. She stayed there one night, and
then left it, and since that had shown no further desire to visit
Cauldkail Castle. She did not the less delight to talk about her
dear good father-in-law, the lord. Why should she give his son
Val board and lodging, but that she might be enabled to do so?
She was not the woman to buy an article, and not make of it all
the use of which it might be capable.

'Pray do not concern yourself,' said Gertrude. 'I can assure you
Mr. Tudor will manage very well for himself--but should any
misfortune happen to him he will not, you may be certain,
attribute it to Lord Gaberlunzie.'

'I am told that Sir Gregory is most opposed to it,' continued
Mrs. Val. 'I heard that from Mr. Neverbend, who is altogether in
Sir Gregory's confidence--did not you, my dears?' and she turned
round to the sisters of Fidus for confirmation.

'I heard my brother say that as Mr. Tudor's office is not
parliamentary but permanent, and as he has to attend from ten
till four----'

'Alaric has not to attend from ten till four,' said Gertrude, who
could not endure the idea that her husband should be ranked with
common clerks, like Fidus Neverbend.

'Oh, I didn't know,' said Lactimel, meekly. 'Perhaps Fidus only
meant that as it is one of those offices where the people have
something to do, the commissioners couldn't be in their offices
and in Parliament at the same time.'

'I did understand,' said Ugolina, 'that Sir Gregory Hardlines had
put his veto upon it; but I must confess that it is a subject
which I have not sufficiently studied to enable me----'

'It's L1,200 a year, isn't it?' asked the bride.

'Twelve hundred pounds a year,' said her mother--'a very serious
consideration when there is no private fortune to back it, on
either side. Now if it were Victoire----'

'He couldn't sit in Parliament, ma, because he's an alien--only
for that I shouldn't think of his doing anything else.'

'Perhaps that may be altered before long,' said Lactimel,
graciously.

'If Jews are to be admitted,' said Ugolina, 'who certainly belong
to an alien nation; a nation expressly set apart and separated
from all people--a peculiar nation distinct from all others, I
for one cannot discern----'

What Ugolina could or could not discern about the Jews was
communicated perhaps to Madame Jaquetanape or to Lactimel, but
not to Gertrude or to Mrs. Val; for the latter, taking Gertrude
apart into a corner as it were of the sofa, began confidentially
to repeat to her her fears about her husband.

'I see, my dear,' said she, 'that you don't like my speaking
about it.'

'Upon my word,' said Gertrude, 'I am very indifferent about it.
But would it not be better if you said what you have to say to my
husband?'

'I intend to do so. I intend to do that also. But I know that a
wife ought to have influence over her husband, and I believe that
you have influence over yours.'

'Not the least,' said Gertrude, who was determined to contradict
Mrs. Val in everything.

'I am sorry to hear it,' said Mrs. Val, who among all her
excellent acquirements, did not possess that specially excellent
one of understanding repartee. 'I am very sorry to hear it, and I
shall certainly speak to him the more seriously on that account.
I think I have some influence over him; at any rate I ought to
have.'

'I dare say you have,' said Gertrude; 'Alaric always says that no
experience is worth anything that is not obtained by years.'

Mrs. Val at least understood this, and continued her lecture with
some additional severity. 'Well, my dear, I am glad he has so
much wisdom. But what I was going to say is this: you know how
much we have at stake with Mr. Tudor--what a very large sum of
Clementina's money lies in his hands. Now I really should not
have consented to the arrangement had I thought it possible that
Mr. Tudor would have given up his income with the idea of going
into Parliament. It wouldn't have been right or prudent of me to
do so. I have the greatest opinion of your husband's talents and
judgement, or I should not of course have entrusted him with the
management of Clementina's fortune; but I really shall think it
right to make some change if this project of his goes on.'

'Why, what is it you suspect?' said Gertrude. 'Do you think that
Mr. Tudor intends to use your daughter's income if he loses a
portion of his own? I never heard such a thing in my life.'

'Hush! my dear--gently--I would not for worlds let Clementina
hear a word of this; it might disturb her young happiness. She is
so charmed with her husband; her married life is so fortunate;
Victoire is so--so--so everything that we all wish, that I would
not for the world breathe in her hearing a shadow of a suspicion.'

'Good gracious! Mrs. Scott, what do you mean? Suspicion!--what
suspicion? Do you suspect my husband of robbing you?' Oh,
Gertrude; poor Gertrude! she was doomed to know it all before
long.

'Oh dear, no,' said Mrs. Val; 'nothing of the kind, I assure you.
Of course we suspect nothing of the sort. But one does like to
have one's money in safe hands. Of course Mr. Tudor wouldn't have
been chosen as trustee if he hadn't had a good income of his own;
and look here, my dear,'--and Mrs. Val whispered very confidentially,
--'Mr. Tudor we all know is greatly concerned in this bridge that
the committee is sitting about; and he and my brother-in-law,
Undecimus, are always dealing in shares. Gentlemen do, I know;
and therefore I don't say that there is anything against it. But
considering all, I hope Mr. Tudor won't take it ill if we propose to
change our trustee.'

'I am very certain he will not,' said Gertrude. 'It is a
laborious business, and he will be glad enough to be rid of it.
When he was asked to accept it, he thought it would be ill-
natured to refuse; I am certain, however, he will be very glad to
give up the work to any other person who may be appointed. I will
be sure to tell him this evening what you have said.'

'You need not trouble yourself to do that,' said Mrs. Val. 'I
shall see him myself before long.'

'It will be no trouble,' said Gertrude, very indignantly, for she
was very angry, and had, as she thought, great cause for anger.
'I shall certainly think it my duty to do so after what has
passed. Of course you will now take steps to relieve him as soon
as possible.'

'You have taken me up a great deal too quick, my dear,' said Mrs.
Val. 'I did not intend----'

'Oh--one can't be too quick on such a matter as this,' said
Gertrude. 'When confidence is once lost between two persons it is
better that the connexion which has grown out of confidence
should be put an end to as soon as possible.'

'Lost confidence! I said nothing about lost confidence!'

'Alaric will so understand it, I am quite sure; at any rate I
will tell him what you have said. Suspicion indeed! who has dared
to suspect him of anything not honest or upright?'

Gertrude's eyes flashed with anger as she vindicated her absent
lord. Mrs. Val had been speaking with bated breath, so that no
one had heard her but she to whom she was speaking; but Gertrude
had been unable so to confine her answers, and as she made her
last reply Madame Jaquetanape and the Misses Neverbend were all
ears.

'Ha, ha, ha!' laughed Mrs. Val. 'Upon my word, my dear, it is
amusing to hear you take it up. However, I assure you I meant
nothing but what was kind and friendly. Come, Clementina, we have
been sitting here a most unconscionable time. Will you allow me,
my dear, to ring for my carriage?'

'Mamma,' said Clem, 'have you asked Mrs. Tudor to our little
dance?'

'No, my dear; I have left that for you to do. It's your party,
you know--but I sincerely hope Mrs. Tudor will come.'

'Oh yes,' said Clementina, the tongue of whose eloquence was now
loosened. 'You must come, Mrs. Tudor; indeed you must. It will be
so charming; just a few nice people, you know, and nothing more.'

'Thank you,' said Gertrude; 'but I never dance now.' She had
inwardly resolved that nothing should ever induce her again to
enter Mrs. Val's house.

'Oh, but you must come,' said Clementina. 'It will be so
charming. We only mean to dance one kind of dance--that new thing
they have just brought over from Spain--the Contrabandista. It is
a polka step, only very quick, and you take every other turn by
yourself; so you have to take your partner up and let him go as
quick as possible. You don't know how charming it is, and it will
be all the rage. We are to have the music out in the street, just
as they have in Spain.'

'It would be much too difficult for me,' said Gertrude.

'It is difficult,' said the enthusiastic Clem; 'but Victoire
gives us lessons in it everyday from twelve to two--doesn't he,
Ugolina?'

'I'm afraid I shouldn't have time to go to school,' said
Gertrude.

'Oh, it doesn't take much time--six or seven or eight lessons
will do it pretty well. I have almost learnt it already, and
Ugolina is coming on very fast. Lactimel is not quite so perfect.
She has learnt the step, but she cannot bring herself to let
Victoire go quick enough. Do come, and bring Mr. Tudor with you.'

'As he has not to attend from ten till four, he could come and
take lessons too,' said Lactimel, who, now that she was no longer
a hanger-on of Gertrude's, could afford to have her little
revenge.

'That would be delightful,' said Clem. 'Mr. Charles Tudor does
come in sometimes at twelve o'clock, and I think he does it
almost as well as Victoire.'

Gertrude, however, would go neither to the rehearsals nor to the
finished performance; and as Mrs. Val's men had by this time been
induced to leave the beershop, the whole party went away, leaving
Gertrude to her meditations.

CHAPTER XXXVI

TICKLISH STOCK

Alaric returned from his office worn and almost as wretched as he
had been on the day before. He had spent a miserable day. In the
morning Sir Gregory had asked him whether he had finally made up
his mind to address the electors of Strathbogy. 'No, not
finally,' said Alaric, 'but I think I shall do so.'

'Then I must tell you, Tudor,' said Sir Gregory, speaking more in
sorrow than in anger, 'that you will not have my countenance. I
cannot but think also that you are behaving with ingratitude.'
Alaric prepared to make some petulant answer, but Sir Gregory, in
the meantime, left the room.

Every one was falling away from him. He felt inclined to rush
after Sir Gregory, and promise to be guided in this matter solely
by him, but his pride prevented him: though he was no longer
sanguine and confident as he had been a week ago, still his
ambition was high. 'Those who play brag must brag it out, or they
will lose their money.' This had been said by Undy; but it was
not the less true on that account. Alaric felt that he was
playing brag, and that his only game was to brag it out.

He walked home slowly through the Parks. His office and house
were so circumstanced that, though they were some two miles
distant, he could walk from one to the other almost without
taking his feet off the grass. This had been the cause of great
enjoyment to him; but now he sauntered on with his hands behind
his back, staring straight before him, with fixed eyes, going by
his accustomed route, but never thinking for a moment where he
was. The tune was gone when he could watch the gambols of
children, smile at the courtships of nursery-maids, watch the
changes in the dark foliage of the trees, and bend from his
direct path hither and thither to catch the effects of distant
buildings, and make for his eye half-rural landscapes in the
middle of the metropolis. No landscapes had beauty for him now;
the gambols even of his own baby were unattractive to him; leaves
might bud forth and nourish and fall without his notice. How went
the share-market? that was the only question that had an interest
for him. The dallyings of Capel Court were the only courtships
that he now cared to watch.

And with what a terribly eager eye had he now to watch them! If
his shares went up quickly, at once, with an unprecedented
success, he might possibly be saved. That was all. But if they
did not--! Such was the phase of life under which at the present
moment it behoved him to exist.

And then, when he reached his home, how was he welcomed? With all
the fond love which a loving wife can show; so much at least was
his; but before he had felt the sweetness of her caresses, before
he had acknowledged how great was the treasure that he possessed,
forth from her eager lips had come the whole tale of Mrs. Val's
impertinence.