The Three Clerks by Anthony Trollope

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'I will never see her again, Alaric! never; she talked of her
daughter's money, and said something of suspicion!' Suspicion!
Gertrude's eye again flashed fire with anger; and she all but
stamped with her little foot upon the ground. Suspicion! suspect
him, her husband, the choice of her heart, her Alaric, the human
god whom she worshipped! suspect him of robbery! her lord, her
heart, her soul, the strong staff on which she leaned so
securely, with such true feminine confidence! Suspect him of
common vile dishonesty!--'You will never ask me to see her again
--will you, Alaric?'

What was he to say to her? how was he to bear this? His heart
yearned to tell her all; he longed for the luxury of having one
bosom to whom he could entrust his misery, his slight remaining
hope. But how could he himself, at one blow, by one word, destroy
the high and polished shaft on which she whom he loved had placed
him? He could not do it. He would suffer by himself; hope by
himself, cease to hope by himself, and endure all, till either
his sufferings or his hopes should be over.

He had to pretend that he was indignant at Mrs. Val's
interference; he had to counterfeit the feelings of outraged
honour, which was so natural to Gertrude. This he failed to do
well. Had he been truly honest--had that woman's suspicion really
done him injustice--he would have received his wife's tidings
with grave displeasure, and have simply resolved to acquit
himself as soon as possible of the disagreeable trust which had
been reposed in him. But such was not now his conduct. He
contented himself by calling Mrs. Val names, and pretended to
laugh at her displeasure.

'But you will give up this trust, won't you?' said Gertrude.

'I will think about it,' said he. 'Before I do anything I must
consult old Figgs. Things of that kind can't be put out of their
course by the spleen of an old woman like Mrs. Val.'

'Oh, Alaric, I do so wish you had had nothing to do with these
Scotts!'

'So do I,' said he, bitterly; 'I hate them--but, Gertrude, don't
talk about them now; my head aches, and I am tired.'

He sat at home the whole evening; and though he was by no means
gay, and hardly affectionate in his demeanour to her, yet she
could not but feel that some good effect had sprung from his
recent dislike to the Scotts, since it kept him at home with her.
Lately he had generally spent his evenings at his club. She
longed to speak to him of his future career, of his proposed seat
in Parliament, of his office-work; but he gave her no encouragement
to speak of such things, and, as he pleaded that he was ill, she left
him in quiet on the sofa.

On the next morning he again went to his office, and in the
course of the morning a note was brought to him from Undy. It ran
as follows:--

'MY DEAR TUDOR,

'Is Val to have the shares? Let me have a line by the bearer.

'Yours ever,

'U. S.'

To this he replied by making an appointment to meet Undy before
dinner at his own office.

At the time fixed Undy came, and was shown by the sole remaining
messenger into Alaric's private room. The two shook hands
together in their accustomed way. Undy smiled good-humouredly, as
he always did; and Alaric maintained his usual composed and
uncommunicative look.

'Well,' said Undy, sitting down, 'how about those shares?'

'I am glad you have come,' said Alaric, 'because I want to speak
to you with some earnestness.'

'I am quite in earnest myself,' said Undy; 'and so, by G--, is
Val. I never saw a fellow more in earnest--nor yet apparently
more hard up. I hope you have the shares ready, or else a cheque
for the amount.'

'Look here, Undy; if my doing this were the only means of saving
both you and me from rotting in gaol, by the Creator that made me
I would not do it!'

'I don't know that it will have much effect upon me, one way or
the other,' said Undy, coolly; 'but it seems to me to be the only
way that can save yourself from some such fate. Shall I tell you
what the clauses are of this new bill about trust property?'

'I know the clauses well enough; I know my own position; and I
know yours also.'

'D--- your impudence!' said Undy; 'how do you dare to league me
with your villany? Have I been the girl's trustee? have I drawn,
or could I have drawn, a shilling of her money? I tell you,
Tudor, you are in the wrong box. You have one way of escape, and
one only. I don't want to ruin you; I'll save you if I can; I
think you have treated the girl in a most shameful way,
nevertheless I'll save you if I can; but mark this, if this money
be not at once produced I cannot save you.'

Alaric felt that he was covered with cold perspiration. His
courage did not fail him; he would willingly have taken Undy by
the throat, could his doing so have done himself or his cause any
good; but he felt that he was nearly overset by the cool deep
villany of his companion.

'I have treated the girl badly--very badly,' he said, after a
pause; 'whether or no you have done so too I leave to your own
conscience, if you have a conscience. I do not now mean to accuse
you; but you may know this for certain--my present anxiety is to
restore to her that which I have taken from her; and for no
earthly consideration--not to save my own wife--will I increase
the deficiency.'

'Why, man, what nonsense you talk--as if I did not know all the
time that you have your pocket full of these shares.'

'Whatever I have, I hold for her. If I could succeed in getting
out of your hands enough to make up the full sum that I owe her--'

'You will succeed in getting nothing from me. When I borrowed
L5,000 from you, it was not understood that I was to be called
upon for the money in three or four months' time.'

'Now look here, Scott; you have threatened me with ruin and a
prison, and I will not say but your threats may possibly prove
true. It may be that I am ruined; but, if I fall, you shall share
my fall.'

'That's false,' said Undy. 'I am free to hold my head before the
world, which you are not. I have done nothing to bring me to
shame.'

'Nothing to bring you to shame, and yet you would now have me
give you a further portion of this girl's money!'

'Nothing! I care nothing about the girl's money. I have not
touched it, nor do I want to touch it. I bring you a message from
my brother; you have ample means of your own to comply with his
request.'

'Then tell your brother,' said Alaric, now losing all control
over his temper--'tell your brother, if indeed he have any part
in this villany--tell your brother that if it were to save me
from the gallows, he should not have a shilling. I have done very
badly in this matter; I have acted shamefully, and I am ashamed,
but----'

'Oh, I want to hear none of your rhapsodies,' said Undy. 'If you
will not now do what I ask you, I may as well go, and you may
take the consequences;' and he lifted his hat as though preparing
to take his leave.

'But you shall hear me,' said Alaric, rising quickly from his
seat, and standing between Undy and the door. Undy very coolly
walked to the bell and rang it. 'I have much to answer for,'
continued Alaric, 'but I would not have your sin on my soul, I
would not be as black as you are, though, by being so, I could
save myself with certainty from all earthly punishment.'

As he finished, the messenger opened the door. 'Show Mr. Scott
out,' said Alaric.

'By, by,' said Undy. 'You will probably hear from Mrs. Val and
her daughter to-morrow,' and so saying he walked jauntily along
the passage, and went jauntily to his dinner at his club. It was
part of his philosophy that nothing should disturb the even tenor
of his way, or interfere with his animal comforts. He was at the
present moment over head and ears in debt; he was playing a game
which, in all human probability, would end in his ruin; the
ground was sinking beneath his feet on every side; and yet he
thoroughly enjoyed his dinner. Alaric could not make such use of
his philosophy. Undy Scott might be the worse man of the two, but
he was the better philosopher.

Not on the next day, or on the next, did Alaric hear from Mrs.
Val, but on the following Monday he got a note from her begging
him to call in Ebury Street. She underscored every line of it
once or twice, and added, in a postscript, that he would, she was
sure, at once acknowledge the NECESSITY of her request, as she
wished to communicate with him on the subject of her DAUGHTER'S
FORTUNE.

Alaric immediately sent an answer to her by a messenger. 'My dear
Mrs. Scott,' said he, 'I am very sorry that an engagement
prevents my going to you this evening; but, as I judge by your
letter, and by what I have heard from Gertrude, that you are
anxious about this trust arrangement, I will call at ten to-
morrow morning on my way to the office.'

Having written and dispatched this, he sat for an hour leaning
with his elbows on the table and his hands clasped, looking with
apparent earnestness at the rows of books which stood inverted
before him, trying to make up his mind as to what step he should
now take.

Not that he sat an hour undisturbed. Every five minutes some one
would come knocking at the door; the name of some aspirant to the
Civil Service would be brought to him, or the card of some
influential gentleman desirous of having a little job perpetrated
in favour of his own peculiarly interesting, but perhaps not very
highly-educated, young candidate. But on this morning Alaric
would see no one; to every such intruder he sent a reply that he
was too deeply engaged at the present moment to see any one.
After one he would be at liberty, &c., &c.

And so he sat and looked at the books; but he could in nowise
make up his mind. He could in nowise bring himself even to try to
make up his mind--that is, to make any true effort towards doing
so. His thoughts would run off from him, not into the happy
outer world, but into a multitude of noisy, unpleasant paths, all
intimately connected with his present misery, but none of which
led him at all towards the conclusions at which he would fain
arrive. He kept on reflecting what Sir Gregory would think when
he heard of it; what all those clerks would say at the Weights
and Measures, among whom he had held his head so high; what
shouts there would be among the navvies and other low pariahs of
the service; how Harry Norman would exult--(but he did not yet
know Harry Norman);--how the Woodwards would weep; how Gertrude--
and then as he thought of that he bowed his head, for he could no
longer endure the open light of day. At one o'clock he was no
nearer to any decision than he had been when he reached his
office.

At three he put himself into a cab, and was taken to the city.
Oh, the city, the weary city, where men go daily to look for
money, but find none; where every heart is eaten up by an
accursed famishing after gold; where dark, gloomy banks come
thick on each other, like the black, ugly apertures to the realms
below in a mining district, each of them a separate little pit-
mouth into hell. Alaric went into the city, and found that the
shares were still rising. That imperturbable witness was still in
the chair at the committee, and men said that he was disgusting
the members by the impregnable endurance of his hostility. A man
who could answer 2,250 questions without admitting anything must
be a liar! Such a one could convince no one! And so the shares
went on rising, rising, and rising, and Messrs. Blocks, Piles,
and Cofferdam were buying up every share; either doing that
openly--or else selling on the sly.

Alaric found that he could at once realize L7,600. Were he to do
this, there would be at any rate seven-eighths of his ward's
fortune secure.

Might he not, in such a case, calculate that even Mrs. Val's
heart would be softened, and that time would be allowed him to
make up the small remainder? Oh, but in such case he must tell
Mrs. Val; and could he calculate on her forbearance? Might he not
calculate with much more certainty on her love of triumphing?
Would he not be her slave if she had the keeping of his secret?
And why should he run so terrible a risk of destroying himself?
Why should he confide in Mrs. Val, and deprive himself of the
power of ever holding up his head again, when, possibly, he might
still run out his course with full sails, and bring his vessel
into port, giving no knowledge to the world of the perilous state
in which she had been thus ploughing the deep? He need not, at
any rate, tell everything to Mrs. Val at his coming visit on the
morrow.

He consulted his broker with his easiest air of common concern as
to his money; and the broker gave him a dubious opinion. 'They
may go a little higher, sir; indeed I think they will. But they
are ticklish stock, sir--uncommon ticklish. I should not like to
hold many myself, sir.' Alaric knew that the man was right; they
were ticklish stock: but nevertheless he made up his mind to hold
on a little longer.

He then got into another cab and went back to his office; and as
he went he began to bethink himself to whom of all his friends he
might apply for such a loan as would enable him to make up this
sum of money, if he sold his shares on the morrow. Captain
Cuttwater was good for L1,000, but he knew that he could not get
more from him. It would be bad borrowing, he thought, from Sir
Gregory. Intimate as he had been with that great man, he knew
nothing of his money concerns; but he had always heard that Sir
Gregory was a close man. Sir Warwick, his other colleague, was in
easy circumstances; but then he had never been intimate with Sir
Warwick. Norman--ah, if he had known Norman now, Norman would
have pulled him through; but hope in that quarter there was, of
course, none. Norman was gone, and Norman's place had been filled
by Undy Scott! What could be done with Undy Scott he had already
tried. Fidus Neverbend! he had a little money saved; but Fidus
was not the man to do anything without security. He, he, Alaric
Tudor, he, whose credit had stood, did stand, so high, did not
know where to borrow, how to raise a thousand pounds; and yet he
felt that had he not wanted it so sorely, he could have gotten it
easily.

He was in a bad state for work when he got back to the office on
that day. He was flurried, ill at ease, wretched, all but
distracted; nevertheless he went rigidly to it, and remained
there till late in the evening. He was a man generally blessed
with excellent health; but now he suddenly found himself ill, and
all but unable to accomplish the task which he had prescribed to
himself. His head was heavy and his eyes weak, and he could not
bring himself to think of the papers which lay before him.

Then at last he went home, and had another sad and solitary walk
across the Parks, during which he vainly tried to rally himself
again, and collect his energies for the work which he had to do.
It was in such emergencies as this that he knew that it most
behoved a man to fall back upon what manliness there might be
within him; now was the time for him to be true to himself; he
had often felt proud of his own energy of purpose; and now was
the opportunity for him to use such energy, if his pride in this
respect had not been all in vain.

Such were the lessons with which he endeavoured to strengthen
himself, but it was in vain; he could not feel courageous--he
could not feel hopeful--he could not do other than despair. When
he got home, he again prostrated himself, again declared himself
ill, again buried his face in his hands, and answered the
affection of his wife by saying that a man could not always be
cheerful, could not always laugh. Gertrude, though she was very
far indeed from guessing the truth, felt that something
extraordinary was the matter, and knew that her husband's
uneasiness was connected with the Scotts.

He came down to dinner, and though he ate but little, he drank
glass after glass of sherry. He thus gave himself courage to go
out in the evening and face the world at his club. He found Undy
there as he expected, but he had no conversation with him, though
they did not absolutely cut each other. Alaric fancied that men
stared at him, and sat apart by himself, afraid to stand up among
talking circles, or to put himself forward as it was his wont to
do. He himself avoided other men, and then felt that others were
avoiding him. He took up one evening paper after another,
pretending to read them, but hardly noticing a word that came
beneath his eye: at last, however, a name struck him which
riveted his attention, and he read the following paragraph, which
was among many others, containing information as to the coming
elections.

'STRATHBOGY.--We hear that Lord Gaberlunzie's eldest son will
retire from this borough, and that his place will be filled by
his brother, the Honourable Captain Valentine Scott. The family
have been so long connected with Strathbogy by ties of friendship
and near neighbourhood, and the mutual alliance has been so much
to the taste of both parties, that no severance need be
anticipated.'

Alaric's first emotion was one of anger at the whole Scott tribe,
and his first resolve was to go down to Strathbogy and beat that
inanimate fool, Captain Val, on his own ground; but he was not
long in reflecting that, under his present circumstances, it
would be madness in him to bring his name prominently forward in
any quarrel with the Scott family. This disappointment he might
at any rate bear; it would be well for him if this were all. He
put the paper down with an affected air of easy composure, and
walked home through the glaring gas-lights, still trying to
think--still trying, but in vain, to come to some definite
resolve.

And then on the following morning he went off to call on Mrs.
Val. He had as yet told Gertrude nothing. When she asked him what
made him start so early, he merely replied that he had business
to do on his road. As lie went, he had considerable doubt whether
or no it would be better for him to break his word to Mrs. Val,
and not go near her at all. In such event he might be sure that
she would at once go to work and do her worst; but, nevertheless,
he would gain a day, or probably two, and one or two days might
do all that he required; whereas he could not see Mrs. Val
without giving her some explanation, which if false would be
discovered to be false, and if true would be self-condemnatory.
He again, however, failed to decide, and at last knocked at Mrs.
Val's door merely because he found himself there.

He was shown up into the drawing-room, and found, of course, Mrs.
Val seated on a sofa; and he also found, which was not at all of
course, Captain Val, on a chair on one side of the table, and M.
Victoire Jaquetanape on the other. Mrs. Val shook hands with him
much in her usual way, but still with an air of importance in her
face; the Frenchman was delighted to see M. Tudere, and the
Honourable Val got up from his chair, said 'How do?' and then sat
down again.

'I requested you to call, Mr. Tudor,' said Mrs. Val, opening her
tale in a most ceremonious manner, 'because we all think it
necessary to know somewhat more than has yet been told to us of
the manner in which my daughter's money has been invested.'

Captain Val wiped his moustache with the middle finger of his
right hand, by way of saying that he quite assented to his wife's
proposition; and Victoire remarked that 'Madame was a leetle
anxious, just a leetle anxious; not that anything could be wrong
with M. Tudere, but because she was one excellent mamma.'

'I thought you knew, Mrs. Scott,' said Alaric, 'that your
daughter's money is in the funds.'

'Then I may understand clearly that none of the amount so
invested has been sold out or otherwise appropriated by you.'
said Mrs. Val.

'Will you allow me to inquire what has given rise to these
questions just at the present moment?' asked Alaric.

'Yes, certainly,' said Mrs. Val; 'rumours have reached my
husband--rumours which, I am happy to say, I do not believe--that
my daughter's money has been used for purposes of speculation.'
Whereupon Captain Val again wiped his upper lip, but did not find
it necessary to speak.

'May I venture to ask Captain Scott from what source such rumours
have reached him!'

'Ah-ha-what source? d---- lies, very likely; d---- lies, I dare
say; but people do talk--eh--you know,' so much the eloquent
embryo member for Strathbogy vouchsafed.

'And therefore, Mr. Tudor, you mustn't be surprised that we
should ask you this question.'

'It is one simple, simple question,' said Victoire, 'and if M.
Tudere will say that it is all right, I, for myself, will be
satisfied.' The amiable Victoire, to tell the truth, was still
quite satisfied to leave his wife's income in Alaric's hands, and
would not have been at all satisfied to remove it to the hands of
his respected step-papa-in-law, or even his admired mamma-in-law.

'When I undertook this trust,' said Alaric, 'which I did with
considerable hesitation, I certainly did not expect to be
subjected to any such cross-examination as this. I consider such
questions as insults, and therefore I shall refuse to answer
them. You, Mrs. Scott, have of course a right to look after your
daughter's interests, as has M. Jaquetanape to look after those
of his wife; but I will not acknowledge that Captain Scott has
any such right whatsoever, nor can I think that his conduct in
this matter is disinterested;' and as he spoke he looked at
Captain Val, but he might just as well have looked at the door;
Captain Val only wiped his moustache with his finger once more.
'My answer to your inquiries, Mrs. Scott, is this--I shall not
condescend to go into any details as to Madame Jaquetanape 's
fortune with anyone but my co-trustee. I shall, however, on
Saturday next, be ready to give up my trust to any other person
who may be legally appointed to receive it, and will then produce
all the property that has been entrusted to my keeping:' and so
saying, Alaric got up and took his hat as though to depart.

'And do you mean to say, Mr. Tudor, that you will not answer my
question?' said Mrs. Scott.

'I mean to say, most positively, that I will answer no
questions,' said Alaric.

'Oh, confound, not do at all; d----,' said the captain. 'The
girl's money all gone, and you won't answer questions!'

'No!' shouted Alaric, walking across the room till he closely
confronted the captain. 'No--no--I will answer no questions that
may be asked in your hearing. But that your wife's presence
protects you, I would kick you down your own stairs before me.'

Captain Val retreated a step--he could retreat no more--and wiped
his moustache with both hands at once. Mrs. Val screamed.
Victoire took hold of the back of a chair, as though he thought
it well that he should be armed in the general battle that was to
ensue; and Alaric, without further speech, walked out of the
room, and went away to his office.

'So you have given up Strathbogy?' said Sir Gregory to him, in
the course of the day.

'I think I have,' said Alaric; 'considering all things, I believe
it will be the best for me to do so.'

'Not a doubt of it,' said Sir Gregory--'not a doubt of it, my
dear fellow;' and then Sir Gregory began to evince, by the
cordiality of his official confidence, that he had fully taken
Alaric back into his good graces. It was nothing to him that
Strathbogy had given up Alaric instead of Alaric giving up
Strathbogy. He was sufficiently pleased at knowing that the
danger of his being supplanted by his own junior was over.

And then Alaric again went into the weary city, again made
inquiries about his shares, and again returned to his office, and
thence to his home.

But on his return to his office, he found lying on his table a
note in Undy's handwriting, but not signed, in which he was
informed that things would yet be well, if the required shares
should be forthcoming on the following day.

He crumpled the note tight in his hand, and was about to fling it
among the waste paper, but in a moment he thought better of it,
and smoothing the paper straight, he folded it, and laid it
carefully on his desk.

That day, on his visit into the city, he had found that the
bridge shares had fallen to less than the value of their original
purchase-money; and that evening he told Gertrude everything. The
author does not dare to describe the telling.

CHAPTER XXXVII

TRIBULATION

We must now return for a short while to Surbiton Cottage. It was
not so gay a place as it once had been; merry laughter was not so
often heard among the shrubbery walks, nor was a boat to be seen
so often glancing in and out between the lawn and the adjacent
island. The Cottage had become a demure, staid abode, of which
Captain Cuttwater was in general the most vivacious inmate; and
yet there was soon to be marrying, and giving in marriage.

Linda's wedding-day had twice been fixed. That first-named had
been postponed in consequence of the serious illness of Norman's
elder brother. The life of that brother had been very different
in its course from Harry's; it had been dissipated at college in
riotous living, and had since been stained with debauchery during
the career of his early manhood in London. The consequence had
been that his health had been broken down, and he was now
tottering to an early grave.