A Nonsense Anthology by Collected by Carolyn Wells

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_He must be a fool indeed who cannot at
times play the fool; and he who does not
enjoy nonsense must be lacking in sense_.

_WILLIAM J. ROLFE_.

A Nonsense Anthology

Collected by Carolyn Wells

1910

TO

GELETT BURGESS

A NONSENSE LOVER

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION
JABBERWOCKY Lewis Carroll
MORS IABROCHII Anonymous
THE NYUM-NYUM Anonymous
UFFIA Harriet R. White
SPIRK TROLL-DERISIVE James Whitcomb Riley
THE WHANGO TREE 1840
SING FOR THE GARISH EYE W.S. Gilbert
THE CRUISE OF THE "P.C." Anonymous
TO MARIE Anonymous
LUNAR STANZAS Henry Coggswell Knight
NONSENSE Anonymous, 1617
SONNET FOUND IN A DESERTED MAD HOUSE Anonymous
THE OCEAN WANDERER Anonymous
SHE'S ALL MY FANCY PAINTED HIM Lewis Carroll
MY RECOLLECTEST THOUGHTS Charles E. Carryl
FATHER WILLIAM Anonymous
IN THE GLOAMING James C. Bayles
BALLAD OF BEDLAM Punch
'TIS SWEET TO ROAM Anonymous
HYMN TO THE SUNRISE Anonymous
THE MOON IS UP Anonymous
'T IS MIDNIGHT Anonymous
UPRISING SEE THE FITFUL LARK Anonymous
LIKE TO THE THUNDERING TONE Bishop Corbet
MY DREAM Anonymous
MY HOME Anonymous
IN IMMEMORIAM Cuthbert Bede
THE HIGHER PANTHEISM IN A NUTSHELL A. C. Swinburne
DARWINITY Herman Merivale
SONG OF THE SCREW Anonymous
MOORLANDS OF THE NOT Anonymous
METAPHYSICS Oliver Herford
ABSTROSOPHY Gelett Burgess
ABSTEMIA Gelett Burgess
PSYCHOLOPHON Gelett Burgess
TIMON OF ARCHIMEDES Charles Battell Loomis
ALONE Anonymous
LINES BY A MEDIUM Anonymous
TRANSCENDENTALISM From the Times of India
INDIFFERENCE Anonymous
QUATRAIN Anonymous
COSSIMBAZAR Henry S. Leigh
THE PERSONIFIED SENTIMENTAL Bret Harte
A CLASSIC ODE Charles Battell Loomis
WHERE AVALANCHES WAIL Anonymous
BLUE MOONSHINE Francis G. Stokes
NONSENSE Thomas Moore
SUPERIOR NONSENSE VERSES Anonymous
WHEN MOONLIKE ORE THE HAZURE SEAS W.M. Thackeray
LINES BY A PERSON OF QUALITY Alexander Pope
FRANGIPANNI Anonymous
LINES BY A FOND LOVER Anonymous
FORCING A WAY Anonymous
THY HEART Anonymous
A LOVE-SONG BY A LUNATIC Anonymous
THE PARTERRE E.H. Palmer
TO MOLLIDUSTA Planche
JOHN JONES A.C. Swinburne
THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT Edward Lear
A BALLADE OF THE NURSERIE John Twig
A BALLAD OF HIGH ENDEAVOR Anonymous
THE LUGUBRIOUS WHINGWHANG James Whitcomb Riley
OH! WEARY MOTHER Barry Pain
SWISS AIR Bret Harte
THE BULBUL Owen Seaman
BALLAD Anonymous
OH, MY GERALDINE F.C. Burnand
BUZ, QUOTH THE BLUE FLY Ben Jonson
A SONG ON KING WILLIAM III Anonymous
THERE WAS A MONKEY Anonymous, 1626
THE GUINEA PIG Anonymous
THREE CHILDREN London, 1662
IF Anonymous
A RIDDLE Anonymous
THREE JOVIAL HUNTSMEN Anonymous
THREE ACRES OF LAND Anonymous
MASTER AND MAN Anonymous
HYDER IDDLE Anonymous
KING ARTHUR Anonymous
IN THE DUMPS Anonymous
TWEEDLE-DUM AND TWEE-DLE-DEE Anonymous
MARTIN TO HIS MAN From Deuteromelia
THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO Edward Lear
THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES Edward Lear
THE JUMBLIES Edward Lear
INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF MY UNCLE ARLY
Edward Lear
LINES TO A YOUNG LADY Edward Lear
WAYS AND MEANS Lewis Carroll
THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER Lewis Carroll
THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK Lewis Carroll
SYLVIE AND BRUNO Lewis Carroll
GENTLE ALICE BROWN W.S. Gilbert
THE STORY OF PRINCE AGIB W.S. Gilbert
FERDINANDO AND ELVIRA, OR THE GENTLE PIEMAN
W.S. Gilbert
GENERAL JOHN W. S. Gilbert
LITTLE BILLEE W. M. Thackeray
THE WRECK OF THE "JULIE PLANTE" William H. Drummond
THE SHIPWRECK E. H. Palmer
A SAILOR'S YARN J. J. Roche
THE WALLOPING WINDOW-BLIND Charles E. Carryl
THE ROLLICKING MASTODON Arthur Macy
THE SILVER QUESTION Oliver Herford
THE SINGULAR SANGFROID OF BABY BUNTING
Guy Wetmore Carryl
FAITHLESS NELLY GRAY Thomas Hood
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN George Canning
MALUM OPUS James Appleton Morgan
AESTIVATION O. W. Holmes
A HOLIDAY TASK Gilbert Abbott a Becket
PUER EX JERSEY Anonymous
THE LITTLE PEACH Anonymous
MONSIEUR McGINTE Anonymous
YE LAYE OF YE WOODPECKORE Henry A. Beers
COLLUSION BETWEEN A ALEGAITER AND A WATER-SNAIK
J. W. Morris
ODD TO A KROKIS Anonymous
SOME VERSES TO SNAIX Anonymous
A GREAT MAN Oliver Goldsmith
AN ELEGY Oliver Goldsmith
PARSON GRAY Oliver Goldsmith
AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG Oliver Goldsmith
THE WONDERFUL OLD MAN Anonymous
A CHRONICLE Anonymous
ON THE OXFORD CARRIER John Milton
NEPHELIDIA A. C. Swinburne
MARTIN LUTHER AT POTSDAM Barry Pain
COMPANIONS C. S. Calverley
THE COCK AND THE BULL C. S. Calverley
LOVERS AND A REFLECTION C. S. Calverley
AN IMITATION OF WORDSWORTH Catharine M. Fanshawe.
THE FAMOUS BALLAD OF THE JUBILEE CUP Arthur T. Quiller-Couch
A SONG OF IMPOSSIBILITIES W. M. Praed
TRUST IN WOMEN Anonymous
HERE IS THE TALE Anthony C. Deane
THE AULD WIFE C. S. Calverley
NOT I R. L. Stevenson
MINNIE AND WINNIE Lord Tennyson
THE MAYOR OF SCUTTLETON Mary Mapes Dodge
THE PURPLE COW Gelett Burgess
THE INVISIBLE BRIDGE Gelett Burgess
THE LAZY ROOF Gelett Burgess
MY FEET Gelett Burgess
THE HEN Oliver Herford
THE COW Oliver Herford
THE CHIMPANZEE Oliver Herford
THE HIPPOPOTAMUS Oliver Herford
THE PLATYPUS Oliver Herford
SOME GEESE Oliver Herford
THE FLAMINGO Lewis Gaylord Clark
KINDNESS TO ANIMALS J. Ashby-Sterry
SAGE COUNSEL A. T. Quiller-Couch
OF BAITING THE LION Owen Seaman
THE FROG Hilaire Belloc
THE YAK Hilaire Belloc
THE PYTHON Hilaire Belloc
THE BISON Hilaire Belloc
THE PANTHER Anonymous
THE MONKEY'S GLUE Goldwin Goldsmith
THERE WAS A FROG Christ Church MS.
THE BLOATED BIGGABOON H. Cholmondeley-Pennell
WILD FLOWERS Peter Newell
TIMID HORTENSE Peter Newell
HER POLKA DOTS Peter Newell
HER DAIRY Peter Newell
TURVEY TOP Anonymous
WHAT THE PRINCE OF I DREAMT H. Cholmondeley-Pennell
THE DINKEY-BIRD Eugene Field
THE MAN IN THE MOON James Whitcomb Riley
THE STORY OF THE WILD HUNTSMAN Dr. Heinrich Hoffman
THE STORY OF PYRAMID THOTHMES Anonymous
THE STORY OF CRUEL PSAMTEK Anonymous
THE CUMBERBUNCE Paul West
THE AHKOND OF SWAT Edward Lear
A THRENODY George Thomas Lanigan
DIRGE OF THE MOOLLA OF KOTAL George Thomas Lanigan
RUSSIAN AND TURK Anonymous
LINES TO MISS FLORENCE HUNTINGDON Anonymous
COBBE'S PROPHECIES 1614
AN UNSUSPECTED FACT Edward Cannon
THE SORROWS OF WERTHER W. M. Thackeray
NONSENSE VERSES Charles Lamb
THE NOBLE TUCK-MAN Jean Ingelow
THE PESSIMIST Ben King
THE MODERN HIAWATHA Anonymous
ON THE ROAD Tudor Jenks
UNCLE SIMON AND UNCLE JIM Artemus Ward
POOR DEAR GRANDPAPA D'Arcy W. Thompson
THE SEA-SERPENT Planche
MELANCHOLIA Anonymous
THE MONKEY'S WEDDING Anonymous
MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP Anonymous
THE SUN J. Davis
THE AUTUMN LEAVES Anonymous
IN THE NIGHT Anonymous
POOR BROTHER Anonymous
THE BOY Eugene Field
THE SEA Anonymous
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL H. W. Longfellow
FIN DE SIECLE Newton Mackintosh
MARY JANE Anonymous
TENDER-HEARTEDNESS Col. D. Streamer
IMPETUOUS SAMUEL Col. D. Streamer
MISFORTUNES NEVER COME SINGLY Col. D. Streamer
AUNT ELIZA Col. D. Streamer
SUSAN Anonymous
BABY AND MARY Anonymous
THE SUNBEAM Anonymous
LITTLE WILLIE Anonymous
MARY AMES Anonymous
MUDDLED METAPHORS Tom Hood, Jr.
VILLON'S STRAIGHT TIP TO ALL CROSS COVES
W. E. Henley
ODE TO THE HUMAN HEART Laman Blanchard
LIMERICKS Edward Lear
Anonymous
Cosmo Monkhouse
Walter Parke
George du Maurier
Robert J. Burdette
Gelett Burgess
Bruce Porter
Newton Mackintosh
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

INTRODUCTION

On a topographical map of Literature Nonsense would be represented
by a small and sparsely settled country, neglected by the average
tourist, but affording keen delight to the few enlightened
travellers who sojourn within its borders. It is a field which has
been neglected by anthologists and essayists; one of its few serious
recognitions being in a certain "Treatise of Figurative Language,"
which says: "Nonsense; shall we dignify that with a place on our list?
Assuredly will vote for doing so every one who hath at all duly
noticed what admirable and wise uses it can be, and often is, put to,
though never before in rhetoric has it been so highly honored. How
deeply does clever or quaint nonsense abide in the memory, and for
how many a decade--from earliest youth to age's most venerable years."

And yet Hazlitt's "Studies in Jocular Literature" mentions six
divisions of the Jest, and omits Nonsense!

Perhaps, partly because of such neglect, the work of the best
nonsense writers is less widely known than it might be.

But a more probable reason is that the majority of the reading world
does not appreciate or enjoy real nonsense, and this, again, is
consequent upon their inability to discriminate between nonsense of
integral merit and simple chaff.

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
Of him that hears it. Never in the tongue
Of him that makes it,

and a sense of nonsense is as distinct a part of our mentality as a
sense of humor, being by no means identical therewith.

It is a fad at present for a man to relate a nonsensical story, and
then, if his hearer does not laugh, say gravely: "You have no sense
of humor. That is a test story, and only a true humorist laughs at it."
Now, the hearer may have an exquisite sense of humor, but he may be
lacking in a sense of nonsense, and so the story gives him no
pleasure. De Quincey said, "None but a man of extraordinary talent
can write first-rate nonsense." Only a short study of the subject is
required to convince us that De Quincey was right; and he might have
added, none but a man of extraordinary taste can appreciate
first-rate nonsense. As an instance of this, we may remember that
Edward Lear, "the parent of modern nonsense-writers," was a talented
author and artist, and a prime favorite of such men as Tennyson and
the Earls of Derby; and John Ruskin placed Lear's name at the head
of his list of the best hundred authors.

"Don't tell me," said William Pitt, "of a man's being able to talk
sense; every one can talk sense. Can he talk nonsense?"

The sense of nonsense enables us not only to discern pure nonsense,
but to consider intelligently nonsense of various degrees of purity.
Absence of sense is not necessarily nonsense, any more than absence
of justice is injustice.

Etymologically speaking, nonsense may be either words without meaning,
or words conveying absurd or ridiculous ideas. It is the second
definition which expresses the great mass of nonsense literature,
but there is a small proportion of written nonsense which comes
under the head of language without meaning.

Again, there are verses composed entirely of meaningless words,
which are not nonsense literature, because they are written with
some other intent.

The nursery rhyme, of which there are almost as many versions as
there are nurseries,

Eena, meena, mona, mi,
Bassalona, bona, stri,
Hare, ware, frown, whack,
Halico balico, we, wi, we, wack,

is not strictly a nonsense verse, because it was invented and used
for "counting out," and the arbitrary words simply take the place of
the numbers 1, 2, 3, etc.

Also, the nonsense verses with which students of Latin composition
are sometimes taught to begin their efforts, where words are used
with no relative meaning, simply to familiarize the pupil with the
mechanical values of quantity and metre, are not nonsense. It is
only nonsense for nonsense' sake that is now under our consideration.

Doubtless the best and best-known example of versified words without
meaning is "Jabberwocky." Although (notwithstanding Lewis Carroll's
explanations) the coined words are absolutely without meaning, the
rhythm is perfect and the poetic quality decidedly apparent, and the
poem appeals to the nonsense lover as a work of pure genius. Bayard
Taylor is said to have recited "Jabberwocky" aloud for his own
delectation until he was forced to stop by uncontrollable laughter.
To us who know our _Alice_ it would seem unnecessary to quote this
poem, but it is a fact that among the general reading community the
appreciators of Lewis Carroll are surprisingly few. An editor of a
leading literary review, when asked recently if he had read
"Alice in Wonderland," replied, "No, but I mean to. It is by the
author of 'As in a looking-Glass,' is it not?"

But of far greater interest and merit than nonsense of words, is
nonsense of ideas. Here, again, we distinguish between nonsense and
no sense. Ideas conveying no sense are often intensely funny, and
this type is seen in some of the best of our nonsense literature.

A perfect specimen is the bit of evidence read by the White Rabbit
at the Trial of the Knave of Hearts.[1] One charm of these verses is
the serious air of legal directness which pervades their ambiguity,
and another is the precision with which the metrical accent
coincides exactly with the natural emphasis. They are marked, too,
by the liquid euphony that always distinguishes Lewis Carroll's
poetry.

A different type is found in verses that refer to objects in terms
the opposite of true, thereby suggesting ludicrous incongruity, and
there is also the nonsense verse that uses word effects which have
been confiscated by the poets and tacitly given over to them.

A refrain of nonsense words is a favorite diversion of many
otherwise serious poets.

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

is one of Shakespeare's many musical nonsense refrains.

[Footnote 1: "She's all my Fancy painted him," page 20.]

Burns gives us:

Ken ye aught o' Captain Grose?
Igo and ago,
If he's 'mang his freens or foes?
Iram, coram, dago.
Is he slain by Highlan' bodies?
Igo and ago;
And eaten like a weather haggis?
Iram, coram, dago.

Another very old refrain runs thus:

Forum, corum, sunt di-vorum,
Harum, scarum, divo;
Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band,
Hic, hoc, horum, genitivo.

An old ballad written before the Reformation has for a refrain:

Sing go trix,
Trim go trix,
Under the greenwood tree.

While a celebrated political ballad is known by its nonsense chorus,

Lilliburlero bullin a-la.

Mother Goose rhymes abound in these nonsense refrains, and they are
often fine examples of onomatopoeia.

By far the most meritorious and most interesting kind of nonsense is
that which embodies an absurd or ridiculous idea, and treats it with
elaborate seriousness. The greatest masters of this art are
undoubtedly Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll. These Englishmen were men
of genius, deep thinkers, and hard workers.

Lear was an artist draughtsman, his subjects being mainly
ornithological and zoological. Lewis Carroll (Charles L. Dodgson)
was an expert in mathematics and a lecturer on that science in
Christ Church, Oxford.

Both these men numbered among their friends many of the greatest
Englishmen of the day. Tennyson was a warm friend and admirer of each,
as was also John Ruskin.

Lear's first nonsense verses, published in 1846, are written in the
form of the well-known stanza beginning:

There was an old man of Tobago.

This type of stanza, known as the "Limerick," is said by a gentleman
who speaks with authority to have flourished in the reign of William
IV. This is one of several he remembers as current at his public
school in 1834:

There was a young man at St. Kitts
Who was very much troubled with fits;
The eclipse of the moon
Threw him into a swoon,
When he tumbled and broke into bits.

Lear distinctly asserts that this form of verse was not invented by
him, but was suggested by a friend as a useful model for amusing
rhymes. It proved so in his case, for he published no less than two
hundred and twelve of these "Limericks."

In regard to his verses, Lear asserted that "nonsense, pure and
absolute," was his aim throughout; and remarked, further, that to
have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands was
surely a just excuse for satisfaction. He pursued his aim with
scrupulous consistency, and his absurd conceits are fantastic and
ridiculous, but never cheaply or vulgarly funny.

Twenty-five years after his first book came out, Lear published
other books of nonsense verse and prose, with pictures which are
irresistibly mirth-provoking. Lear's nonsense songs, while retaining
all the ludicrous merriment of his Limericks, have an added quality
of poetic harmony. They are distinctly _singable_, and many of them
have been set to music by talented composers. Perhaps the best-known
songs are "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat" and "The Daddy-Long-Legs and
the Fly."

Lear himself composed airs for "The Pelican Chorus" and "The
Yonghy-Bonghy Bo," which were arranged for the piano by Professor Pome,
of San Remo, Italy.

Although like Lear's in some respects, Lewis Carroll's nonsense is
perhaps of a more refined type. There is less of the grotesque and
more poetic imagery. But though Carroll was more of a poet than Lear,
both had the true sense of nonsense. Both assumed the most absurd
conditions, and proceeded to detail their consequences with a simple
seriousness that convulses appreciative readers, and we find
ourselves uncertain whether it is the manner or the matter that is
more amusing.

Lewis Carroll was a man of intellect and education; his funniest
sayings are often based on profound knowledge or deep thought. Like
Lear, he never spoiled his quaint fancies by over-exaggerating their
quaintness or their fancifulness, and his ridiculous plots are as
carefully conceived, constructed, and elaborated as though they
embodied the soundest facts. No funny detail is ever allowed to
become _too_ funny; and it is in this judicious economy of
extravagance that his genius is shown. As he remarks in one of his
own poems:

Then, fourthly, there are epithets
That suit with any word--
As well as Harvey's Reading Sauce
With fish, or flesh, or bird.
Such epithets, like pepper,
Give zest to what you write;
And, if you strew them sparely,
They whet the appetite;
But if you lay them on too thick,
You spoil the matter quite!

Both Lear and Carroll suffered from the undiscerning critics who
persisted in seeing in their nonsense a hidden meaning, a cynical,
political, or other intent, veiled under the apparent foolery. Lear
takes occasion to deny this in the preface to one of his books, and
asserts not only that his rhymes and pictures have no symbolical
meaning, but that he "took more care than might be supposed to make
the subjects incapable of such misinterpretation."

Likewise, "Jabberwocky" was declared by one critic to be a
translation from the German, and by others its originality was
doubted. The truth is, that it was written by Lewis Carroll at an
evening party; it was quite impromptu, and no ulterior meaning was
intended. "The Hunting of the Snark" was also regarded by some as an
allegory, or, perhaps, a burlesque on a celebrated case, in which
the _Snark_ was used as a personification of popularity, but Lewis
Carroll protested that the poem had no meaning at all.

A favorite trick of the Nonsensists is the coining of words to suit
their needs, and Lear and Carroll are especially happy in their
inventions of this kind.

Lear gives us such gems as scroobious, meloobious, ombliferous,
borascible, slobaciously, himmeltanious, flumpetty, and mumbian;
while the best of Lewis Carroll's coined words are those found in
"Jabberwocky."

Another of the great Nonsensists is W. S. Gilbert. Unlike Lear or
Carroll, his work is not characterized by absurd words or phrases;
he prefers a still wider scope, and invents a ridiculous plot. The
"Bab Ballads," as well as Mr. Gilbert's comic opera librettos, hinge
upon schemes of ludicrous impossibility, which are treated as the
most natural proceedings in the world. The best known of the
"Bab Ballads" is no doubt "The Yarn of the 'Nancy Bell,'" which was
long since set to music and is still a popular song. In addition to
his talent for nonsense, Mr. Gilbert possesses a wonderful rhyming
facility, and juggles cleverly with difficult and unusual metres.

In regard to his "Bab Ballads," Mr. Gilbert gravely says that
"they are not, as a rule, founded on fact," and, remembering their
gory and often cannibalistic tendencies, we are grateful for this
assurance. An instance of Gilbert's appreciation of other people's
nonsense is his parody of Lear's verse:

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