A Nonsense Anthology by Collected by Carolyn Wells
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Collected by Carolyn Wells >> A Nonsense Anthology
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"Cassez-vous, cassez-vous, cassez-vous,
O mer, sur vos froids gris calloux!"
Ainsi traduisit Laure
Au profit d'Isadore
(Bon jeune homme, at son futur epoux.)
Un marin naufrage (de Doncastre)
Pour priere, an milieu du desastre
Repetait a genoux
Ces mots simples et doux:--
"Scintillez, scintillez, petit astre!"
_George du Maurier_.
* * * * *
There was a young man of Cohoes,
Wore tar on the end of his nose;
When asked why he done it,
He said for the fun it
Afforded the men of Cohoes.
_Robert J. Burdette_.
* * * * *
I'd rather have habits than clothes,
For that's where my intellect shows.
And as for my hair,
Do you think I should care
To comb it at night with my toes?
I'd rather have ears than a nose,
I'd rather have fingers than toes,
But as for my hair:
I'm glad it's all there;
I'll be awfully sad when it goes.
I wish that my Room had a Floor;
I don't so much care for a Door,
But this walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore!
_Gelett Burgess_.
H was an indigent Hen,
Who picked up a corn now and then;
She had but one leg
On which she could peg,
And behind her left ear was a wen.
_Bruce Porter_.
Cleopatra, who thought they maligned her,
Resolved to reform and be kinder;
"If, when pettish," she said,
"I should knock off your head,
Won't you give me some gentle reminder?"
_Newton Mackintosh_.
When that Seint George hadde sleyne ye draggon,
He sate him down furninst a flaggon;
And, wit ye well,
Within a spell
He had a bien plaisaunt jag on.
_Anonymous_.
There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a Tiger;
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the Tiger.
_Anonymous_.
There was a young maid who said, "Why
Can't I look in my ear with my eye?
If I give my mind to it,
I'm sure I can do it,
You never can tell till you try."
_Anonymous_.
INDEX OF TITLES
ABSTEMIA _Gelett Burgess_
Abstrosophy _Gelett Burgess_
Aestivation _O. W. Holmes_
Ahkond of Swat, The _Edward Lear_
Alone
As with my Hat upon my Head _Dr. Johnson_
Auld Wife, The _C. S. Calverley_
Aunt Eliza _Col. D. Streamer_
Autumn Leaves, The
BABY AND MARY
Ballade of the Nurserie _John Twig_
Ballad of Bedlam
Ballad of High Endeavor, A
Ballad with an Ancient Refrain
Bison, The _Hilaire Relloc_
Bloated Biggaboon, The _H. Cholmondeley-Pennell_
Blue Moonshine _Francis G. Stokes_
Boy, The _Eugene Field_
Bulbul, The _Owen Seaman_
Buz, quoth the Blue Fly _Ben Jonson_
CENTIPEDE, A
Chimpanzee, The _Oliver Herford_
Chronicle, A
Classic Ode, A _Charles Battell Loomis_
Cobbe's Prophecies
Cock and the Bull, The _C. S. Calverley_
Collusion between a Alegaiter and a Water-Snaik
_J. W. Morris_
Companions _C. S. Calverley_
Cossimbazar _Henry S. Leigh_
Cow, The _Oliver Herford_
Cruise of the "P. C.", The
Cumberbunce, The _Paul West_
DARWINITY _Herman Merivale_
Dinkey-Bird, The _Eugene Field_
Dirge of the Moolla of Kotal _George T. Lanigan_
ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, THE _George Canning_
Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog _Oliver Goldsmith_
Elegy on Madam Blaize _Oliver Goldsmith_
FAITHLESS NELLY GRAY _Thomas Hood_
Famous Ballad of the Jubilee Cup, The
_A. T. Stiller-Couch_
Father William
Ferdinando and Elvira _W. S. Gilbert_
Fin de Siecle _Newton Mackintosh_
Flamingo, The _Lewis Gaylord Clark_
Forcing a Way
Frangipanni
Frog, The _Hilaire Belloc_
GENERAL JOHN _W. S. Gilbert_
Gentle Alice Brown _W. S. Gilbert_
Great Man, A _Oliver Goldsmith_
Guinea Pig, The
HEN, THE _Oliver Herford_
Her Dairy _Peter Newell_
Here is the Tale _Anthony C. Deane_
Her Polka Dots _Peter Newell_
Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell, The
_A. C. Swinburne_
Hippopotamus, The _Oliver Herford_
Holiday Task, A _Gilbert Abbott a Becket_
Hunting of the Snark, The _Lewis Carroll_
Hyder iddle diddle dell
Hymn to the Sunrise
IF
If Half the Road
If a Man who Turnips Cries _Dr. Johnson_
I Love to Stand
Imitation of Wordsworth _Catharine M. Fanshawe_
Impetuous Samuel _Col. D. Streamer_
Incidents in the Life of my Uncle Arly
_Edward Lear_
Indifference
In Immemorian _Cuthbert Bede_
In the Dumps
In the Gloaming _James C. Bayles_
In the Night
Invisible Bridge, The _Gelett Burgess_
JABBERWOCKY _Lewis Carroll_
John Jones _A. C. Swinburne_
Jumblies, The _Edward Lear_
KEN YE AUGHT O' CAPTAIN GROSE _Robert Burns_
Kindness to Animals _J. Ashby-Sterry_
King Arthur
LAYE OF YE WOODPECKORE, YE _Henry A. Beers_
Lazy Roof, The _Gelett Burgess_
Like to the Thundering Tone _Bishop Corbet_
LIMERICKS:
Cleopatra, who thought they maligned her
_Newton Mackintosh_
H was an indigent H _Bruce Porter_
I'd rather have habits than clothes
_Gelett Burgess_
I wish that my room had a door
_Gelett Burgess_
There once was a girl of New York
_Cosmo Monkhouse_
There once was a man who said "How"
There once was an old man of Lyme
_Cosmo Monkhouse_
There once was a person of Benin
_Cosmo Monkhouse_
There was a dear lady of Eden
There was a gay damsel of Lynn
There was an old man in a tree
_Edward Lear_
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka
_Edward Lear_
There was an Old Man of Leghorn
_Edward Lear_
There was an old man of St. Bees
_W. S. Gilbert_
There was an old man of Thermopylae
_Edward Lear_
There was an old man who said "Do"
There was an Old Man who said "Hush"
_Edward Lear_
There was an Old Man who supposed
_Edward Lear_
There was an old person of Ware
_Edward Lear_
There was an old person of Wick
_Edward Lear_
There was an old person of Woking
_Edward Lear_
There was an old stupid who wrote
_Walter Parke_
There was once a man with a beard
_Edward Lear_
There was a princess of Bengal
_Walter Parke_
There was a small boy of Quebec
_Rudyard Kipling_
There was a young lady of Milton
There was a young lady of Niger
There was a young lady of Wales
There was a young maid who said "Why"
There was a young man at St. Kitts
There was a young man of Cohoes
_Robert J. Burdette_
There was a young man who was bitten
_Walter Parke_
Vers Nonsensiques _George du Maurier_
When that Seint George hadde sleyne ye dragon
Lines by a Fond Lover
Lines by a Medium
Lines by a Person of Quality _Alexander Pope_
Lines to Miss Florence Huntingdon
Lines to a Young Lady _Edward Lear_
Little Billee _W.M. Thackeray_
Little Peach, The
Little Willie
Lobster wooed a Lady Crab, A
Lovers and a Reflection _C.S. Calverley_
Love Song by a Lunatic
Lugubrious Whing-Whang, The _James W. Riley_
Lunar Stanzas _H.C. Knight_
MALUM OPUS _J. Appleton Morgan_
Man in the Moon, The _James W. Riley_
Martin Luther at Potsdam _Barry Pain_
Martin to his Man
Mary Ames
Mary Jane
Master and Man
Mayor of Scuttleton, The _Mary Mapes Dodge_
Melancholia
Metaphysics _Oliver Herford_
Minnie and Winnie _Lord Tennyson_
Misfortunes _Col. D. Streamer_
Mr. Finney's Turnip
Modern Hiawatha, The
Monkey's Glue, The _Goldwin Goldsmith_
Monkey's Wedding The
Monsieur McGinte
Moon is up, The
Moorlands of the Not
Mors Iabrochii
Muddled Metaphors _Tom Hood, Jr_.
My Dream
My Feet _Gelett Burgess_
My Home
My Recollectest Thoughts _Charles E. Carryl_
Nephelidia _A. C. Swinburne_
Noble Tuckman, The _Jean Ingelow_
Nonsense
Nonsense _Thomas Moore_
Nonsense Verses _Charles Lamb_
Not I _R.L. Stevenson_
Nyum-Nyum, The
Ocean Wanderer, The
Odd to a Krokis
Ode to the Human Heart _Laman Blanchard_
Of Baiting the Lion _Owen Seaman_
Oh, my Geraldine _F.C. Burnand_
Oh, Weary Mother _Barry Pain_
On the Oxford Carrier _John Milton_
On the Road _Tudor Jenks_
Owl and the Pussy-Cat, The _Edward Lear_
PANTHER, THE
Parson Gray _Oliver Goldsmith_
Parterre, The _E. H. Palmer_
Personified Sentimental, The _Bret Harte_
Pessimist, The _Ben King_
Platypus, The _Oliver Herford_
Pobble who has no Toes, The _Edward Lear_
Poor Brother
Poor Dear Grandpapa _D'Arcy W. Thompson_
Psycholophon _Gelett Burgess_
Puer ex Jersey
Purple Cow, The _Gelett Burgess_
Python, The _Hilaire Belloc_
QUATRAIN
RIDDLE, A
Rollicking Mastodon, The _Arthur Macy_
Russian and Turk
SAGE COUNSEL _A. T. Quiller-Couch_
Sailor's Yarn, A _James Jeffrey Roche_
Sea, The
Sea-Serpent, The _Planche_
She's All my Fancy Painted Him _Lewis Carroll_
She Went into the Garden _S. Foote_
Shipwreck, The _E. H. Palmer_
Silver Question, The _Oliver Herford_
Sing for the Garish Eye _W. S. Gilbert _
Singular Sangfroid of Baby Bunting, The _Guy W. Carryl_
Some Geese _Oliver Herford_
Some Verses to Snaix
Song of Impossibilities _William M. Praed_
Song of the Screw, The
Song on King William III
Sonnet Found in a Deserted Madhouse
Sorrows of Werther, The _W. M. Thackeray_
Spirk Troll-Derisive _James W. Riley_
Story of Cruel Psamtek, The
Story of Prince Agib, The _W. S. Gilbert_
Story of Pyramid Thothmes
Story of the Wild Huntsman _Heinrich Hoffman_
Sun, The _J. Davis_
Sunbeam, The
Superior Nonsense Verses
Susan
Swiss Air _Bret Harte_
Sylvie and Bruno _Lewis Carroll_
Tender-Heartedness _Col. D. Streamer_
Tender Infant, The _Dr. Johnson_
There was a Frog
There was a Little Girl _H. W. Longfellow_
There was a Monkey
Three Acres of Land
Three Children
Three Jovial Huntsmen
Threnody _George T. Lanigan_
Thy Heart
Timid Hortense _Peter Newell_
Timon of Archimedes _Charles Battell Loomis_
'Tis Midnight and the Setting Sun
'Tis Sweet to Roam
To Marie
To Mollidusta _Planche_
Transcendentalism
Trust in Women
Turvey Top
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
Uffia _Harriet R. White_
Uncle Simon and Uncle Jim _Artemui Ward_
Unsuspected Fact, An _Edward Cannon_
Uprising See the Fitful Lark
Villon's Straight Tip _W. E. Henley_
Walloping Window-Blind, The _Charles E. Carryl_
Walrus and the Carpenter, The _Lewis Carroll_
Ways and Means _Lewis Carroll_
Whango Tree, The
What the Prince of I Dreamt _H. Cholmondeley-Pennell_
When Moonlike ore the Hazure Seas
_W.M. Thackeray_
Where Avalanches Wail
Wild Flowers _Peter Newell_
Wonderful Old Man, The
Wreck of the "Julie Plante" _W.H. Drummond_
Yak, The _Hilaire Belloc_
Yonghy-Bonghy-BO, The _Edward Lear_
INDEX OF AUTHORS
A BECKET, GILBERT ABBOTT
A Holiday Task
ASHBY-STERRY, J.
Kindness to Animals
BAYLES, JAMES C.
In the Gloaming
BEDE, CUTHBERT
In Immemoriam
BEERS, HENRY A.
Ye Laye of ye Woodpeckore
BELLOC, HILAIRE
The Bison
The Frog
The Python
The Yak
BLANCHARD, LAMAN
Ode to the Human Heart
BURDETTE, ROBERT J.
Limerick
BURGESS, GELETT
Abstemia
Abstrosophy
The Invisible Bridge
The Lazy Roof
Limericks
My Feet
Psycholophon
The Purple Cow
BURNAND, F. C.
Oh, my Geraldine
BURNS, ROBERT
Ken ye Aught o' Captain Grose?
CALVERLEY, CHARLES S.
The Auld Wife
The Cock and the Bull
Companions
Lovers and a Reflection
CANNING, GEORGE
The Elderly Gentleman
CANNON, EDWARD
An Unsuspected Fact
CARROLL, LEWIS
The Hunting of the Snark
Jabberwocky
She's All my Fancy Painted Him
Sylvie and Bruno
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Ways and Means
CARRYL, CHARLES E.
My Recollectest Thoughts
The Walloping Window-Blind
CARRYL, GUY WETMORE
The Singular Sangfroid of Baby Bunting
CHOLMONDELEY-PENNELL, H.
The Bloated Biggaboon
What the Prince of I Dreamt
CLARK, LEWIS GAYLORD
The Flamingo
CORBET, BISHOP
Like to the Thundering Tone
DAVIS, J.
The Sun
DEANE, ANTHONY C.
Here is the Tale
DODGE, MARY MAPES
The Mayor of Scuttleton
DRUMMOND, W.H.
Wreck of the "Julie Plante," The
DU MAURIER, GEORGE
Vers Nonsensiques
FANSHAWE, CATHARINE M.
Imitation of Wordsworth
FIELD, EUGENE
The Boy
The Dinkey Bird
FOOTE, S.
Farrago of Nonsense
GILBERT, W.S.
Ferdinando and Elvira
General John
Gentle Alice Brown
Sing for the Garish Eye
The Story of Prince Agib
There was an Old Man of St. Bees
GOLDSMITH, GOLDWIN
The Monkey's Glue
GOLDSMITH, OLIVER
Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog
Elegy on Madam Blaize
A Great Man
Parson Gray
HARTE, BRET
The Personified Sentimental
Swiss Air
HENLEY, W.E.
Villon's Straight Tip
HERFORD, OLIVER.
The Chimpanzee
The Cow
The Hen
The Hippopotamus
Metaphysics
The Platypus
The Silver Question
Some Geese
HOFFMAN, HEINRICH
The Story of the Wild Huntsman
HOLMES, OLIVER WENDELL
AEstivation
HOOD, THOMAS
Faithless Nelly Gray
HOOD, THOMAS, JR.
Muddled Metaphors
INGELOW, JEAN
The Noble Tuckman
JENKS, TUDOR
On the Road
JOHNSON, SAMUEL
As with my Hat
If a Man who Turnips Cries
The Tender Infant
JONSON, BEN
Buz, quoth the Blue Fly
KING, BEN
The Pessimist
KIPLING, RUDYARD
Limerick
KNIGHT, HENRY C.
Lunar Stanzas
LAMB, CHARLES
Nonsense Verses
LANIGAN, GEORGE T.
Dirge of the Moolla of Kotal
A Threnody
LEAR, EDWARD
The Ahkond of Swat
Incidents in the Life of my Uncle Arly
The Jumblies
Limericks
Lines to a Young Lady
The Owl and the Pussy-Cat
The Pobble
There was an Old Man in a Tree
The Yonghy-Bonghy-BO
LEIGH, HENRY S.
Cossimbazar
LONGFELLOW, H.W.
There was a Little Girl
LOOMIS, CHARLES BATTELL
A Classic Ode
Timon of Archimedes
MACKINTOSH, NEWTON
Fin de Siecle
Limerick
MACY, ARTHUR
The Rollicking Mastodon
MERIVALE, HERMAN
Darwinity
MILTON, JOHN
On the Oxford Carrier
MONKHOUSE, COSMO
Limericks
MOORE, THOMAS
Nonsense
MORGAN, JAMES APPLETON
Malum Opus
MORRIS, J. W.
Collusion between a Alegaiter and a Water-Snaik
NEWELL, PETER
Her Dairy
Her Polka Dots
Timid Hortense
Wild Flowers
PAIN, BARRY
Martin Luther at Potsdam
Oh, Weary Mother
PALMER, E. H.
The Parterre
The Shipwreck
PARKE, WALTER
Limericks
PLANCHE
The Sea-Serpent
To Mollidusta
POPE, ALEXANDER
Lines by a Person of Quality
PORTER, BRUCE
Limerick
PRAED, W. M.
Song of Impossibilities
QUILLER-COUCH, A. T.
The Famous Ballad of the Jubilee Cup
Sage Counsel
RILEY, JAMES W.
The Lugubrious Whing-Whang
The Man in the Moon
Spirk Troll-Derisive
ROCHE, JAMES JEFFREY
A Sailor's Yarn
SEAMAN, OWEN
The Bulbul
Of Baiting the Lion
STEVENSON, R. L.
Not I
STOKES, FRANCIS G.
Blue Moonshine
STREAMER, COL. D.
Aunt Eliza
Impetuous Samuel
STREAMER, COL. D.--_Continued_
Misfortunes
Tender-Heartedness
SWINBURNE, A. C.
The Higher Pantheism
John Jones
Nephelidia
TENNYSON, LORD
Minnie and Winnie
THACKERAY, W.M.
Little Billee
The Sorrows of Werther
When Moonlike ore the Hazure Seas
THOMPSON, D'ARCY W.
Poor Dear Grandpapa
TWIG, JOHN
Ballade of the Nurserie
WARD, ARTEMUS
Uncle Simon and Uncle Jim
WEST, PAUL
The Cumberbunce
WHITE, HARRIET R.
Uffia
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