The Book of Wonder by Edward J. M. D. Plunkett, Lord Dunsany
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Edward J. M. D. Plunkett, Lord Dunsany >> The Book of Wonder
Until a year ago he had never imagined at all; it is not to be
wondered at that all these things now newly seen by his fancy should
play tricks at first with the memory of even so sane a man. He gave up
reading the papers altogether, he lost all interest in politics, he
cared less and less for things that were going on around him. This
unfortunate missing of the morning train even occurred again, and the
firm spoke to him severely about it. But he had his consolation. Were
not Arathrion and Argun Zeerith and all the level coasts of Oora his?
And even as the firm found fault with him his fancy watched the yaks
on weary journeys, slow specks against the snow-fields, bringing
tribute; and saw the green eyes of the mountain men who had looked at
him strangely in the city of Nith when he had entered it by the desert
door. Yet his logic did not forsake him; he knew well that his strange
subjects did not exist, but he was prouder of having created them with
his brain, than merely of ruling them only; thus in his pride he felt
himself something more great than a king, he did not dare to think
what! He went into the temple of the city of Zorra and stood some time
there alone: all the priests kneeled to him when he came away.
He cared less and less for the things we care about, for the affairs
of Shap, the business-man in London. He began to despise the man with
a royal contempt.
One day when he sat in Sowla, the city of the Thuls, throned on one
amethyst, he decided, and it was proclaimed on the moment by silver
trumpets all along the land, that he would be crowned as king over all
the lands of Wonder.
By that old temple where the Thuls worshipped, year in, year out, for
over a thousand years, they pitched pavilions in the open air. The
trees that blew there threw out radiant scents unknown in any
countries that know the map; the stars blazed fiercely for that famous
occasion. A fountain hurled up, clattering, ceaselessly into the air
armfuls on armfuls of diamonds. A deep hush waited for the golden
trumpets, the holy coronation night was come. At the top of those old,
worn steps, going down we know not whither, stood the king in the
emerald-and-amethyst cloak, the ancient garb of the Thuls; beside him
lay that Sphinx that for the last few weeks had advised him in his
affairs.
Slowly, with music when the trumpets sounded, came up towards him from
we know not where, one-hundred-and-twenty archbishops, twenty angels
and two archangels, with that terrific crown, the diadem of the Thuls.
They knew as they came up to him that promotion awaited them all
because of this night's work. Silent, majestic, the king awaited them.
The doctors downstairs were sitting over their supper, the warders
softly slipped from room to room, and when in that cosy dormitory of
Hanwell they saw the king still standing erect and royal, his face
resolute, they came up to him and addressed him:
"Go to bed," they said--"pretty bed." So he lay down and soon was fast
asleep: the great day was over.
CHU-BU AND SHEEMISH
It was the custom on Tuesdays in the temple of Chu-bu for the priests
to enter at evening and chant, "There is none but Chu-bu."
And all the people rejoiced and cried out, "There is none but Chu-bu."
And honey was offered to Chu-bu, and maize and fat. Thus was he
magnified.
Chu-bu was an idol of some antiquity, as may be seen from the colour
of the wood. He had been carved out of mahogany, and after he was
carved he had been polished. Then they had set him up on the diorite
pedestal with the brazier in front of it for burning spices and the
flat gold plates for fat. Thus they worshipped Chu-bu.
He must have been there for over a hundred years when one day the
priests came in with another idol into the temple of Chu-bu and set it
up on a pedestal near Chu-bu's and sang, "There is also Sheemish."
And all the people rejoiced and cried out, "There is also Sheemish."
Sheemish was palpably a modern idol, and although the wood was stained
with a dark-red dye, you could see that he had only just been carved.
And honey was offered to Sheemish as well as Chu-bu, and also maize
and fat.
The fury of Chu-bu knew no time-limit: he was furious all that night,
and next day he was furious still. The situation called for immediate
miracles. To devastate the city with a pestilence and kill all his
priests was scarcely within his power, therefore he wisely
concentrated such divine powers as he had in commanding a little
earthquake. "Thus," thought Chu-bu, "will I reassert myself as the
only god, and men shall spit upon Sheemish."
Chu-bu willed it and willed it and still no earthquake came, when
suddenly he was aware that the hated Sheemish was daring to attempt a
miracle too. He ceased to busy himself about the earthquake and
listened, or shall I say felt, for what Sheemish was thinking; for
gods are aware of what passes in the mind by a sense that is other
than any of our five. Sheemish was trying to make an earthquake too.
The new god's motive was probably to assert himself. I doubt if Chu-bu
understood or cared for his motive; it was sufficient for an idol
already aflame with jealousy that his detestable rival was on the
verge of a miracle. All the power of Chu-bu veered round at once and
set dead against an earthquake, even a little one. It was thus in the
temple of Chu-bu for some time, and then no earthquake came.
To be a god and to fail to achieve a miracle is a despairing
sensation; it is as though among men one should determine upon a
hearty sneeze and as though no sneeze should come; it is as though one
should try to swim in heavy boots or remember a name that is utterly
forgotten: all these pains were Sheemish's.
And upon Tuesday the priests came in, and the people, and they did
worship Chu-bu and offered fat to him, saying, "O Chu-bu who made
everything," and then the priests sang, "There is also Sheemish"; and
Chu-bu was put to shame and spake not for three days.
Now there were holy birds in the temple of Chu-bu, and when the third
day was come and the night thereof, it was as it were revealed to the
mind of Chu-bu, that there was dirt upon the head of Sheemish.
And Chu-bu spake unto Sheemish as speak the gods, moving no lips nor
yet disturbing the silence, saying, "There is dirt upon thy head, O
Sheemish." All night long he muttered again and again, "there is dirt
upon Sheemish's head." And when it was dawn and voices were heard far
off, Chu-bu became exultant with Earth's awakening things, and cried
out till the sun was high, "Dirt, dirt, dirt, upon the head of
Sheemish," and at noon he said, "So Sheemish would be a god." Thus was
Sheemish confounded.
And with Tuesday one came and washed his head with rose-water, and he
was worshipped again when they sang "There is also Sheemish." And yet
was Chu-bu content, for he said, "The head of Sheemish has been
defiled," and again, "His head was defiled, it is enough." And one
evening lo! there was dirt on the head of Chu-bu also, and the thing
was perceived of Sheemish.
It is not with the gods as it is with men. We are angry one with
another and turn from our anger again, but the wrath of the gods is
enduring. Chu-bu remembered and Sheemish did not forget. They spake as
we do not speak, in silence yet heard of each other, nor were their
thoughts as our thoughts. We should not judge them merely by human
standards. All night long they spake and all night said these words
only: "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty Sheemish." "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty
Sheemish," all night long. Their wrath had not tired at dawn, and
neither had wearied of his accusation. And gradually Chu-bu came to
realize that he was nothing more than the equal of Sheemish. All gods
are jealous, but this equality with the upstart Sheemish, a thing of
painted wood a hundred years newer than Chu-bu, and this worship given
to Sheemish in Chu-bu's own temple, were particularly bitter. Chu-bu
was jealous even for a god; and when Tuesday came again, the third day
of Sheemish's worship, Chu-bu could bear it no longer. He felt that
his anger must be revealed at all costs, and he returned with all the
vehemence of his will to achieving a little earthquake. The
worshippers had just gone from his temple when Chu-bu settled his will
to attain this miracle. Now and then his meditations were disturbed by
that now familiar dictum, "Dirty Chu-bu," but Chu-bu willed
ferociously, not even stopping to say what he longed to say and had
already said nine hundred times, and presently even these
interruptions ceased.
They ceased because Sheemish had returned to a project that he had
never definitely abandoned, the desire to assert himself and exalt
himself over Chu-bu by performing a miracle, and the district being
volcanic he had chosen a little earthquake as the miracle most easily
accomplished by a small god.
Now an earthquake that is commanded by two gods has double the chance
of fulfilment than when it is willed by one, and an incalculably
greater chance than when two gods are pulling different ways; as, to
take the case of older and greater gods, when the sun and the moon
pull in the same direction we have the biggest tides.
Chu-bu knew nothing of the theory of tides, and was too much occupied
with his miracle to notice what Sheemish was doing. And suddenly the
miracle was an accomplished thing.
It was a very local earthquake, for there are other gods than Chu-bu
or even Sheemish, and it was only a little one as the gods had willed,
but it loosened some monoliths in a colonnade that supported one side
of the temple and the whole of one wall fell in, and the low huts of
the people of that city were shaken a little and some of their doors
were jammed so that they would not open; it was enough, and for a
moment it seemed that it was all; neither Chu-bu nor Sheemish
commanded there should be more, but they had set in motion an old law
older than Chu-bu, the law of gravity that that colonnade had held
back for a hundred years, and the temple of Chu-bu quivered and then
stood still, swayed once and was overthrown, on the heads of Chu-bu
and Sheemish.
No one rebuilt it, for nobody dared to near such terrible gods. Some
said that Chu-bu wrought the miracle, but some said Sheemish, and
thereof schism was born. The weakly amiable, alarmed by the bitterness
of rival sects, sought compromise and said that both had wrought it,
but no one guessed the truth that the thing was done in rivalry.
And a saying arose, and both sects held this belief in common, that
whoso toucheth Chu-bu shall die or whoso looketh upon Sheemish.
That is how Chu-bu came into my possession when I travelled once
beyond the hills of Ting. I found him in the fallen temple of Chu-bu
with his hands and toes sticking up out of the rubbish, lying upon his
back, and in that attitude just as I found him I keep him to this day
on my mantlepiece, as he is less liable to be upset that way. Sheemish
was broken, so I left him where he was.
And there is something so helpless about Chu-bu with his fat hands
stuck up in the air that sometimes I am moved out of compassion to bow
down to him and pray, saying, "O Chu-bu, thou that made everything,
help thy servant."
Chu-bu cannot do much, though once I am sure that at a game of bridge
he sent me the ace of trumps after I had not held a card worth having
for the whole of the evening. And chance alone could have done as much
as that for me. But I do not tell this to Chu-bu.
THE WONDERFUL WINDOW
The old man in the Oriental-looking robe was being moved on by the
police, and it was this that attracted to him and the parcel under his
arm the attention of Mr. Sladden, whose livelihood was earned in the
emporium of Messrs. Mergin and Chater, that is to say in their
establishment.
Mr. Sladden had the reputation of being the silliest young man in
Business; a touch of romance--a mere suggestion of it--would send his
eyes gazing away as though the walls of the emporium were of gossamer
and London itself a myth, instead of attending to customers.
Merely the fact that the dirty piece of paper that wrapped the old
man's parcel was covered with Arabic writing was enough to give Mr.
Sladden the ideas of romance, and he followed until the little crowd
fell off and the stranger stopped by the kerb and unwrapped his parcel
and prepared to sell the thing that was inside it. It was a little
window in old wood with small panes set in lead; it was not much more
than a foot in breadth and was under two feet long. Mr. Sladden had
never before seen a window sold in the street, so he asked the price
of it.
"Its price is all you possess," said the old man.
"Where did you get it?" said Mr. Sladden, for it was a strange window.
"I gave all that I possessed for it in the streets of Baghdad."
"Did you possess much?" said Mr. Sladden.
"I had all that I wanted," he said, "except this window."
"It must be a good window," said the young man.
"It is a magical window," said the old one.
"I have only ten shillings on me, but I have fifteen-and-six at home."
The old man thought for a while.
"Then twenty-five-and-sixpence is the price of the window," he said.
It was only when the bargain was completed and the ten shillings paid
and the strange old man was coming for his fifteen-and-six and to fit
the magical window into his only room that it occurred to Mr.
Sladden's mind that he did not want a window. And then they were at
the door of the house in which he rented a room, and it seemed too
late to explain.
The stranger demanded privacy when he fitted up the window, so Mr.
Sladden remained outside the door at the top of a little flight of
creaky stairs. He heard no sound of hammering.
And presently the strange old man came out with his faded yellow robe
and his great beard, and his eyes on far-off places. "It is finished,"
he said, and he and the young man parted. And whether he remained a
spot of colour and an anachronism in London, or whether he ever came
again to Baghdad, and what dark hands kept on the circulation of his
twenty-five-and-six, Mr. Sladden never knew.
Mr. Sladden entered the bare-boarded room in which he slept and spent
all his indoor hours between closing-time and the hour at which
Messrs. Mergin and Chater commenced. To the Penates of so dingy a room
his neat frock-coat must have been a continual wonder. Mr. Sladden
took it off and folded it carefully; and there was the old man's
window rather high up in the wall. There had been no window in that
wall hitherto, nor any ornament at all but a small cupboard, so when
Mr. Sladden had put his frock-coat safely away he glanced through his
new window. It was where his cupboard had been in which he kept his
tea-things: they were all standing on the table now. When Mr. Sladden
glanced through his new window it was late in a summer's evening; the
butterflies some while ago would have closed their wings, though the
bat would scarcely yet be drifting abroad--but this was in London: the
shops were shut and street-lamps not yet lighted.
Mr. Sladden rubbed his eyes, then rubbed the window, and still he saw
a sky of blazing blue, and far, far down beneath him, so that no sound
came up from it or smoke of chimneys, a mediaeval city set with
towers; brown roofs and cobbled streets, and then white walls and
buttresses, and beyond them bright green fields and tiny streams. On
the towers archers lolled, and along the walls were pikemen, and now
and then a wagon went down some old-world street and lumbered through
the gateway and out to the country, and now and then a wagon drew up
to the city from the mist that was rolling with evening over the
fields. Sometimes folks put their heads out of lattice windows,
sometimes some idle troubadour seemed to sing, and nobody hurried or
troubled about anything. Airy and dizzy though the distance was, for
Mr. Sladden seemed higher above the city than any cathedral gargoyle,
yet one clear detail he obtained as a clue: the banners floating from
every tower over the idle archers had little golden dragons all over a
pure white field.
He heard motor-buses roar by his other window, he heard the newsboys
howling.
Mr. Sladden grew dreamier than ever after that on the premises, in the
establishment of Messrs. Mergin and Chater. But in one matter he was
wise and wakeful: he made continuous and careful inquiries about the
golden dragons on a white flag, and talked to no one of his wonderful
window. He came to know the flags of every king in Europe, he even
dabbled in history, he made inquiries at shops that understood
heraldry, but nowhere could he learn any trace of little dragons _or_
on a field _argent_. And when it seemed that for him alone those
golden dragons had fluttered he came to love them as an exile in some
desert might love the lilies of his home or as a sick man might love
swallows when he cannot easily live to another spring.
As soon as Messrs. Mergin and Chater closed, Mr. Sladden used to go
back to his dingy room and gaze though the wonderful window until it
grew dark in the city and the guard would go with a lantern round the
ramparts and the night came up like velvet, full of strange stars.
Another clue he tried to obtain one night by jotting down the shapes
of the constellations, but this led him no further, for they were
unlike any that shone upon either hemisphere.
Each day as soon as he woke he went first to the wonderful window, and
there was the city, diminutive in the distance, all shining in the
morning, and the golden dragons dancing in the sun, and the archers
stretching themselves or swinging their arms on the tops of the windy
towers. The window would not open, so that he never heard the songs
that the troubadours sang down there beneath the gilded balconies; he
did not even hear the belfries' chimes, though he saw the jackdaws
routed every hour from their homes. And the first thing that he always
did was to cast his eye round all the little towers that rose up from
the ramparts to see that the little golden dragons were flying there
on their flags. And when he saw them flaunting themselves on white
folds from every tower against the marvelous deep blue of the sky he
dressed contentedly, and, taking one last look, went off to his work
with a glory in his mind. It would have been difficult for the
customers of Messrs. Mergin and Chater to guess the precise ambition
of Mr. Sladden as he walked before them in his neat frock-coat: it was
that he might be a man-at-arms or an archer in order to fight for the
little golden dragons that flew on a white flag for an unknown king in
an inaccessible city. At first Mr. Sladden used to walk round and
round the mean street that he lived in, but he gained no clue from
that; and soon he noticed that quite different winds blew below his
wonderful window from those that blew on the other side of the house.
In August the evenings began to grow shorter: this was the very remark
that the other employees made to him at the emporium, so that he
almost feared that they suspected his secret, and he had much less
time for the wonderful window, for lights were few down there and they
blinked out early.
One morning late in August, just before he went to Business, Mr.
Sladden saw a company of pikemen running down the cobbled road towards
the gateway of the mediaeval city--Golden Dragon City he used to call
it alone in his own mind, but he never spoke of it to anyone. The next
thing that he noticed was that the archers were handling round bundles
of arrows in addition to the quivers which they wore. Heads were
thrust out of windows more than usual, a woman ran out and called some
children indoors, a knight rode down the street, and then more pikemen
appeared along the walls, and all the jack-daws were in the air. In
the street no troubadour sang. Mr. Sladden took one look along the
towers to see that the flags were flying, and all the golden dragons
were streaming in the wind. Then he had to go to Business. He took a
bus back that evening and ran upstairs. Nothing seemed to be happening
in Golden Dragon City except a crowd in the cobbled street that led
down to the gateway; the archers seemed to be reclining as usual
lazily in their towers, and then a white flag went down with all its
golden dragons; he did not see at first that all the archers were
dead. The crowd was pouring towards him, towards the precipitous wall
from which he looked; men with a white flag covered with golden
dragons were moving backwards slowly, men with another flag were
pressing them, a flag on which there was one huge red bear. Another
banner went down upon a tower. Then he saw it all: the golden dragons
were being beaten--his little golden dragons. The men of the bear were
coming under the window; what ever he threw from that height would
fall with terrific force: fire-irons, coal, his clock, whatever he
had--he would fight for his little golden dragons yet. A flame broke
out from one of the towers and licked the feet of a reclining archer;
he did not stir. And now the alien standard was out of sight directly
underneath. Mr. Sladden broke the panes of the wonderful window and
wrenched away with a poker the lead that held them. Just as the glass
broke he saw a banner covered with golden dragons fluttering still,
and then as he drew back to hurl the poker there came to him the scent
of mysterious spices, and there was nothing there, not even the
daylight, for behind the fragments of the wonderful window was nothing
but that small cupboard in which he kept his tea-things.
And though Mr. Sladden is older now and knows more of the world, and
even has a Business of his own, he has never been able to buy such
another window, and has not ever since, either from books or men,
heard any rumour at all of Golden Dragon City.
EPILOGUE
Here the fourteenth Episode of the Book of Wonder endeth and here the
relating of the Chronicles of Little Adventures at the Edge of the
World. I take farewell of my readers. But it may be we shall even meet
again, for it is still to be told how the gnomes robbed the fairies,
and of the vengeance that the fairies took, and how even the gods
themselves were troubled thereby in their sleep; and how the King of
Ool insulted the troubadours, thinking himself safe among his scores
of archers and hundreds of halberdiers, and how the troubadours stole
to his towers by night, and under his battlements by the light of the
moon made that king ridiculous for ever in song. But for this I must
first return to the Edge of the World. Behold, the caravans start.