The Vicar\'s Daughter by George MacDonald

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THE VICAR'S DAUGHTER

BY GEORGE MACDONALD

The Vicar's Daughter was originally published in 1872 by Tinsley Brothers,
London.

[Illustration: "I've brought you the baby to kiss," I said, unfolding the
blanket. Page 98.]

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.
INTRODUCTORY

CHAPTER II.
I TRY

CHAPTER III.
MY WEDDING

CHAPTER IV.
JUDY'S VISIT

CHAPTER V.
GOOD SOCIETY

CHAPTER VI.
A REFUGE FROM THE HEAT

CHAPTER VII.
CONNIE

CHAPTER VIII.
CONNIE'S BABY

CHAPTER IX.
THE FOUNDLING REFOUND

CHAPTER X.
WAGTAIL COMES TO HONOR

CHAPTER XI.
A STUPID CHAPTER

CHAPTER XII.
AN INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER XIII.
MY FIRST DINNER PARTY.--A NEGATIVED PROPOSAL

CHAPTER XIV.
A PICTURE

CHAPTER XV.
RUMORS

CHAPTER XVI.
A DISCOVERY

CHAPTER XVII.
MISS CLARE

CHAPTER XVIII.
MISS CLARE'S HOME

CHAPTER XIX.
HER STORY

CHAPTER XX.
A REMARKABLE FACT

CHAPTER XXI.
LADY BERNARD

CHAPTER XXII.
MY SECOND DINNER PARTY

CHAPTER XXIII.
THE END OF THE EVENING

CHAPTER XXIV.
MY FIRST TERROR

CHAPTER XXV.
ITS SEQUEL

CHAPTER XXVI.
TROUBLES

CHAPTER XXVII.
MISS CLARE AMONGST HER FRIENDS

CHAPTER XXVIII.
MR. MORLEY

CHAPTER XXIX.
A STRANGE TEXT

CHAPTER XXX.
ABOUT SERVANTS

CHAPTER XXXI.
ABOUT PERCIVALE

CHAPTER XXXII.
MY SECOND TERROR

CHAPTER XXXIII.
THE CLOUDS AFTER THE RAIN

CHAPTER XXXIV.
THE SUNSHINE

CHAPTER XXXV.
WHAT LADY BERNARD THOUGHT OF IT

CHAPTER XXXVI.
RETROSPECTIVE

CHAPTER XXXVII.
MRS. CROMWELL COMES

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
MRS. CROMWELL GOES

CHAPTER XXXIX.
ANCESTRAL WISDOM

CHAPTER XL.
CHILD NONSENSE

CHAPTER XLI.
"DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL AND TROUBLE"

CHAPTER XLII.
ROGER AND MARION

CHAPTER XLIII.
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ROGER, AND ABOUT MR. BLACKSTONE

CHAPTER XLIV.
THE DEA EX

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTORY.

I think that is the way my father would begin. My name is Ethelwyn
Percivale, and used to be Ethelwyn Walton. I always put the Walton in
between when I write to my father; for I think it is quite enough to have
to leave father and mother behind for a husband, without leaving their name
behind you also. I am fond of lumber-rooms, and in some houses consider
them far the most interesting spots; but I don't choose that my old name
should lie about in the one at home.

I am much afraid of writing nonsense; but my father tells me that to see
things in print is a great help to recognizing whether they are nonsense or
not. And he tells me, too, that his friend the publisher, who,--but I will
speak of him presently,--his friend the publisher is not like any other
publisher he ever met with before; for he never grumbles at any alterations
writers choose to make,--at least he never says any thing, although it
costs a great deal to shift the types again after they are once set up. The
other part of my excuse for attempting to write lies simply in telling how
it came about.

Ten days ago, my father came up from Marshmallows to pay us a visit. He is
with us now, but we don't see much of him all day; for he is generally out
with a friend of his in the east end, the parson of one of the poorest
parishes in London,--who thanks God that he wasn't the nephew of any bishop
to be put into a good living, for he learns more about the ways of God from
having to do with plain, yes, vulgar human nature, than the thickness of
the varnish would ever have permitted him to discover in what are called
the higher orders of society. Yet I must say, that, amongst those I have
recognized as nearest, the sacred communism of the early church--a phrase
of my father's--are two or three people of rank and wealth, whose names are
written in heaven, and need not he set down in my poor story.

A few days ago, then, my father, coming home to dinner, brought with
him the publisher of the two books called, "The Annals of a Quiet
Neighborhood," and "The Seaboard Parish." The first of these had lain
by him for some years before my father could publish it; and then he
remodelled it a little for the magazine in which it came out, a portion
at a time. The second was written at the request of Mr. S., who wanted
something more of the same sort; and now, after some years, he had begun
again to represent to my father, at intervals, the necessity for another
story to complete the _trilogy_, as he called it: insisting, when my father
objected the difficulties of growing years and failing judgment, that
indeed he owed it to him; for he had left him in the lurch, as it were,
with an incomplete story, not to say an uncompleted series. My father still
objected, and Mr. S. still urged, until, at length, my father said--this
I learned afterwards, of course--"What would you say if I found you a
substitute?" "That depends on who the substitute might be, Mr. Walton,"
said Mr. S. The result of their talk was that my father brought him home
to dinner that day; and hence it comes, that, with some real fear and much
metaphorical trembling, I am now writing this. I wonder if anybody will
ever read it. This my first chapter shall be composed of a little of the
talk that passed at our dinner-table that day. Mr. Blackstone was the only
other stranger present; and he certainly was not much of a stranger.

"Do you keep a diary, Mrs. Percivale?" asked Mr. S., with a twinkle in his
eye, as if he expected an indignant repudiation.

"I would rather keep a rag and bottle shop," I answered: at which Mr.
Blackstone burst into one of his splendid roars of laughter; for if ever a
man could laugh like a Christian who believed the world was in a fair way
after all, that man was Mr. Blackstone; and even my husband, who seldom
laughs at any thing I say with more than his eyes, was infected by it, and
laughed heartily.

"That's rather a strong assertion, my love," said my father. "Pray, what do
you mean by it?"

"I mean, papa," I answered, "that it would be a more profitable employment
to keep the one than the other."

"I suppose you think," said Mr. Blackstone, "that the lady who keeps a
diary is in the same danger as the old woman who prided herself in keeping
a strict account of her personal expenses. And it always was correct; for
when she could not get it to balance at the end of the week, she brought it
right by putting down the deficit as _charity_."

"That's just what I mean," I said.

"But," resumed Mr. S., "I did not mean a diary of your feelings, but of the
events of the day and hour."

"Which are never in themselves worth putting down," I said. "All that is
worth remembering will find for itself some convenient cranny to go to
sleep in till it is wanted, without being made a poor mummy of in a diary."

"If you have such a memory, I grant that is better, even for my purpose,
much better," said Mr. S.

"For your purpose!" I repeated, in surprise. "I beg your pardon; but what
designs can you have upon my memory?"

"Well, I suppose I had better be as straightforward as I know you would
like me to be, Mrs. Percivale. I want you to make up the sum your father
owes me. He owed me three books; he has paid me two. I want the third from
you."

I laughed; for the very notion of writing a book seemed preposterous.

"I want you, under feigned names of course," he went on, "as are all the
names in your father's two books, to give me the further history of the
family, and in particular your own experiences in London. I am confident
the history of your married life must contain a number of incidents which,
without the least danger of indiscretion, might be communicated to the
public to the great advantage of all who read them."

"You forget," I said, hardly believing him to be in earnest, "that I should
be exposing my story to you and Mr. Blackstone at least. If I were to make
the absurd attempt,--I mean absurd as regards my ability,--I should be
always thinking of you two as my public, and whether it would be right for
me to say this and say that; which you may see at once would render it
impossible for me to write at all."

"I think I can suggest a way out of that difficulty, Wynnie," said my
father. "You must write freely, all you feel inclined to write, and then
let your husband see it. You may be content to let all pass that he
passes."

"You don't say you really mean it, papa! The thing is perfectly impossible.
I never wrote a book in my life, and"--

"No more did I, my dear, before I began my first."

"But you grew up to it by degrees, papa!"

"I have no doubt that will make it the easier for you, when you try. I am
so far, at least, a Darwinian as to believe that."

"But, really, Mr. S. ought to have more sense--I beg your pardon, Mr. S.;
but it is perfectly absurd to suppose me capable of finishing any thing my
father has begun. I assure you I don't feel flattered by your proposal. I
have got a man of more consequence for a father than that would imply."

All this time my tall husband sat silent at the foot of the table, as if
he had nothing on earth to do with the affair, instead of coming to my
assistance, when, as I thought, I really needed it, especially seeing
my own father was of the combination against me; for what can be more
miserable than to be taken for wiser or better or cleverer than you know
perfectly well you are. I looked down the table, straight and sharp at him,
thinking to rouse him by the most powerful of silent appeals; and when he
opened his mouth very solemnly, staring at me in return down all the length
of the table, I thought I had succeeded. But I was not a little surprised,
when I heard him say,--

"I think, Wynnie, as your father and Mr. S. appear to wish it, you might at
least try."

This almost overcame me, and I was very near,--never mind what. I bit my
lips, and tried to smile, but felt as if all my friends had forsaken me,
and were about to turn me out to beg my bread. How on earth could I write a
book without making a fool of myself?

"You know, Mrs. Percivale," said Mr. S., "you needn't be afraid about the
composition, and the spelling, and all that. We can easily set those to
rights at the office."

He couldn't have done any thing better to send the lump out of my throat;
for this made me angry.

"I am not in the least anxious about the spelling," I answered; "and for
the rest, pray what is to become of me, if what you print should happen to
be praised by somebody who likes my husband or my father, and therefore
wants to say a good word for me? That's what a good deal of reviewing comes
to, I understand. Am I to receive in silence what doesn't belong to me, or
am I to send a letter to the papers to say that the whole thing was patched
and polished at the printing-office, and that I have no right to more than
perhaps a fourth part of the commendation? How would that do?"

"But you forget it is not to have your name to it," he said; "and so it
won't matter a bit. There will be nothing dishonest about it."

"You forget, that, although nobody knows my real name, everybody will know
that I am the daughter of that Mr. Walton who would have thrown his pen in
the fire if you had meddled with any thing he wrote. They would be praising
_me_, if they praised at all. The name is nothing. Of all things, to have
praise you don't deserve, and not to be able to reject it, is the most
miserable! It is as bad as painting one's face."

"Hardly a case in point," said Mr. Blackstone. "For the artificial
complexion would be your own work, and the other would not."

"If you come to discuss that question," said my father, "we must all
confess we have had in our day to pocket a good many more praises than
we had a right to. I agree with you, however, my child, that we must not
connive at any thing of the sort. So I will propose this clause in the
bargain between you and Mr. S.; namely, that, if he finds any fault with
your work, he shall send it back to yourself to be set right, and, if you
cannot do so to his mind, you shall be off the bargain."

"But papa,--Percivale,--both of you know well enough that nothing ever
happened to me worth telling."

"I am sorry your life has been so very uninteresting, wife," said my
husband grimly; for his fun is always so like earnest!

"You know well enough what I mean, husband. It does _not_ follow that what
has been interesting enough to you and me will be interesting to people who
know nothing at all about us to begin with."

"It depends on how it is told," said Mr. S.

"Then, I beg leave to say, that I never had an original thought in my life;
and that, if I were to attempt to tell my history, the result would be
as silly a narrative as ever one old woman told another by the workhouse
fire."

"And I only wish I could hear the one old woman tell her story to the
other," said my father.

"Ah! but that's because you see ever so much more in it than shows. You
always see through the words and the things to something lying behind
them," I said.

"Well, if you told the story rightly, other people would see such things
behind it too."

"Not enough of people to make it worth while for Mr. S. to print it," I
said.

"He's not going to print it except he thinks it worth his while; and you
may safely leave that to him," said my husband.

"And so I'm to write a book as big as 'The Annals;' and, after I've been
slaving at it for half a century or so, I'm to be told it won't do, and all
my labor must go for nothing? I must say the proposal is rather a cool one
to make,--to the mother of a family."

"Not at all; that's not it, I mean," said Mr. S.; "if you will write a
dozen pages or so, I shall be able to judge by those well enough,--at
least, I will take all the responsibility on myself after that."

"There's a fair offer!" said my husband. "It seems to me, Wynnie, that
all that is wanted of you is to tell your tale so that other people can
recognize the human heart in it,--the heart that is like their own, and
be able to feel as if they were themselves going through the things you
recount."

"You describe the work of a genius, and coolly ask me to do it. Besides,
I don't want to be set thinking about my heart, and all that," I said
peevishly.

"Now, don't be raising objections where none exist," he returned.

"If you mean I am pretending to object, I have only to say that I feel all
one great objection to the whole affair, and that I won't touch it."

They were all silent; and I felt as if I had behaved ungraciously. Then
first I felt as if I might _have_ to do it, after all. But I couldn't see
my way in the least.

"Now, what is there," I asked, "in all my life that is worth setting
down,--I mean, as I should be able to set it down?"

"What do you ladies talk about now in your morning calls?" suggested Mr.
Blackstone, with a humorous glance from his deep black eyes.

"Nothing worth writing about, as I am sure _you_ will readily believe, Mr.
Blackstone," I answered.

"How comes it to be interesting, then?"

"But it isn't. They--we--only talk about the weather and our children and
servants, and that sort of thing."

"_Well!_" said Mr. S., "and I wish I could get any thing sensible about the
weather and children and servants, and that sort of thing, for my magazine.
I have a weakness in the direction of the sensible."

"But there never is any thing sensible said about any of them,--not that I
know of."

"Now, Wynnie, I am sure you are wrong," said my father. "There is your
friend, Mrs. Cromwell: I am certain she, sometimes at least, must say what
is worth hearing about such matters."

"Well, but she's an exception. Besides, she hasn't any children."

"Then," said my husband, "there's Lady Bernard"--

"Ah! but she was like no one else. Besides, she is almost a public
character, and any thing said about her would betray my original."

"It would be no matter. She is beyond caring for that now; and not one of
her friends could object to any thing you who loved her so much would say
about her."

The mention of this lady seemed to put some strength into me. I felt as if
I did know something worth telling, and I was silent in my turn.

"Certainly," Mr. S. resumed, "whatever is worth talking about is worth
writing about,--though not perhaps in the way it is talked about. Besides,
Mrs. Percivale, my clients want to know more about your sisters, and little
Theodora, or Dorothea, or--what was her name in the book?"

The end of it was, that I agreed to try to the extent of a dozen pages or
so.

CHAPTER II.

I TRY.

I hope no one will think I try to write like my father; for that would be
to go against what he always made a great point of,--that nobody whatever
should imitate any other person whatever, but in modesty and humility allow
the seed that God had sown in her to grow. He said all imitation tended to
dwarf and distort the plant, if it even allowed the seed to germinate at
all. So, if I do write like him, it will be because I cannot help it.

I will just look how "The Seaboard Parish" ends, and perhaps that will put
into my head how I ought to begin. I see my father does mention that I had
then been Mrs. Percivale for many years. Not so very many though,--five or
six, if I remember rightly, and that is three or four years ago. Yes; I
nave been married nine years. I may as well say a word as to how it came
about; and, if Percivale doesn't like it, the remedy lies in his pen. I
shall be far more thankful to have any thing struck out on suspicion than
remain on sufferance.

After our return home from Kilkhaven, my father and mother had a good many
talks about me and Percivale, and sometimes they took different sides. I
will give a shadow of one of these conversations. I think ladies can write
fully as natural talk as gentlemen can, though the bits between mayn't be
so good.

_Mother._--I am afraid, my dear husband [This was my mother's most solemn
mode of addressing my father], "they are too like each other to make a
suitable match."

_Father_.--I am sorry to learn you consider me so very unlike yourself,
Ethelwyn. I had hoped there was a very strong resemblance indeed, and that
the match had not proved altogether unsuitable.

_Mother._--Just think, though, what would have become of me by this time,
if you had been half as unbelieving a creature as I was. Indeed, I fear
sometimes I am not much better now.

_Father._--I think I am, then; and I know you've done me nothing but good
with your unbelief. It was just because I was of the same sort precisely
that I was able to understand and help you. My circumstances and education
and superior years--

_Mother._--Now, don't plume yourself on that, Harry; for you know everybody
says you look much the younger of the two.

_Father._--I had no idea that everybody was so rude. I repeat, that my more
years, as well as my severer education, had, no doubt, helped me a little
further on before I came to know you; but it was only in virtue of the
doubt in me that I was able to understand and appreciate the doubt in you.

_Mother._--But then you had at least begun to leave it behind before I knew
you, and so had grown able to help me. And Mr. Percivale does not seem, by
all I can make out, a bit nearer believing in any thing than poor Wynnie
herself.

_Father._--At least, he doesn't fancy he believes when he does not, as so
many do, and consider themselves superior persons in consequence. I don't
know that it would have done you any great harm, Miss Ethelwyn, to have
made my acquaintance when I was in the worst of my doubts concerning the
truth of things. Allow me to tell you that I was nearer making shipwreck of
my faith at a certain period than I ever was before or have been since.

_Mother._--What period was that?

_Father._--Just the little while when I had lost all hope of ever marrying
you,--unbeliever as you counted yourself.

_Mother._--You don't mean to say you would have ceased to believe in God,
if he hadn't given you your own way?

_Father._--No, my dear. I firmly believe, that, had I never married you, I
should have come in the end to say, "_Thy will be done_," and to believe
that it must be all right, however hard to bear. But, oh, what a terrible
thing it would have been, and what a frightful valley of the shadow of
death I should have had to go through first!

[I know my mother _said_ nothing more just then, but let my father have it
all his own way for a while.]

_Father._--You see, this Percivale is an honest man. I don't exactly know
how he has been brought up; and it is quite possible he may have had such
evil instruction in Christianity that he attributes to it doctrines which,
if I supposed they actually belonged to it, would make me reject it at once
as ungodlike and bad. I have found this the case sometimes. I remember once
being astonished to hear a certain noble-minded lady utter some indignant
words against what I considered a very weighty doctrine of Christianity;
but, listening, I soon found that what she supposed the doctrine to contain
was something considered vastly unchristian. This may be the case with
Percivale, though I never heard him say a word of the kind. I think his
difficulty comes mainly from seeing so much suffering in the world, that
he cannot imagine the presence and rule of a good God, and therefore lies
with religion rather than with Christianity as yet. I am all but certain,
the only thing that will ever make him able to believe in a God at all is
meditation on the Christian idea of God,--I mean the idea of God _in_
Christ reconciling the world to himself,--not that pagan corruption of
Christ in God reconciling him to the world. He will then see that suffering
is not either wrath or neglect, but pure-hearted love and tenderness. But
we must give him time, wife; as God has borne with us, we must believe that
he bears with others, and so learn to wait in hopeful patience until they,
too, see as we see.

And as to trusting our Wynnie with Percivale, he seems to be as good as
she is. I should for my part have more apprehension in giving her to one
who would be called a thoroughly religious man; for not only would the
unfitness be greater, but such a man would be more likely to confirm her
in doubt, if the phrase be permissible. She wants what some would call
homoeopathic treatment. And how should they be able to love one another, if
they are not fit to be married to each other? The fitness, seems inherent
to the fact.

_Mother._--But many a two love each other who would have loved each other a
good deal more if they hadn't been married.

_Father._--Then it was most desirable they should find out that what they
thought a grand affection was not worthy of the name. But I don't think
there is much fear of that between those two.

_Mother._--I don't, however, see how that man is to do her any good, when
_you_ have tried to make her happy for so long, and all in vain.

_Father._--I don't know that it has been all in vain. But it is quite
possible she does not understand me. She fancies, I dare say, that I
believe every thing without any trouble, and therefore cannot enter into
her difficulties.

_Mother._--But you have told her many and many a time that you do.

_Father._--Yes: and I hope I was right; but the same things look so
different to different people that the same words won't describe them to
both; and it may seem to her that I am talking of something not at all
like what she is feeling or thinking of. But when she sees the troubled
face of Percivale, she knows that he is suffering; and sympathy being thus
established between them, the least word of the one will do more to help
the other than oceans of argument. Love is the one great instructor. And
each will try to be good, and to find out for the sake of the other.

_Mother._--I don't like her going from home for the help that lay at her
very door.

_Father._--You know, my dear, you like the Dean's preaching much better
than mine.

_Mother._--Now, that is unkind of you!

_Father._--And why? [My father went on, taking no heed of my mother's
expostulation.] Because, in the first place, it _is_ better; because, in
the second, it comes in a newer form to you, for you have got used to all
my modes; in the third place, it has more force from the fact that it is
not subject to the doubt of personal preference; and lastly, because he has
a large, comprehensive way of asserting things, which pleases you better
than my more dubitant mode of submitting them,--all very sound and good
reasons: but still, why be so vexed with Wynnie?

[My mother was now, however, so vexed with my father for saying she
preferred the Dean's preaching to his,--although I doubt very much whether
it wasn't true,--that she actually walked out of the octagon room where
they were, and left him to meditate on his unkindness. Vexed with herself
the next moment, she returned as if nothing had happened. I am only telling
what my mother told me; for to her grown daughters she is blessedly
trusting.]

_Mother._--Then if you will have them married, husband, will you say how on
earth you expect them to live? He just makes both ends meet now: I suppose
he doesn't make things out worse than they are; and that is his own account
of the state of his affairs.

_Father._--Ah, yes! that _is_--a secondary consideration, my dear. But I
have hardly begun to think about it yet. There will be a difficulty there,
I can easily imagine; for he is far too independent to let us do any thing
for him.

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