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The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa by Kisari Mohan Ganguli (Translator)

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"The monarch replied, 'During my vow of Brahmacharya, the whole Vedas
entered my ears. I am known as Yayati, a king's son and myself a king.'
Devayani then enquired, 'O king, what hast thou come here for? Is it to
gather lotuses or to angle or to hunt?' Yayati said, 'O amiable one,
thirsty from the pursuit of deer, I have come hither in search of water. I
am very much fatigued. I await but your commands to leave this spot.'

"Devayani answered, 'With my two thousand damsels and my waiting-maid
Sarmishtha, I wait but your commands. Prosperity to thee. Be thou my
friend and lord.'

"Yayati, thereupon, replied, 'Beautiful one, I do not deserve thee. Thou
art the daughter of Sukra far superior to me. Thy father cannot bestow
thee even on a great king.' To this Devayani replied, 'Brahmanas had
before this been united with the Kshatriyas, and Kshatriyas with Brahmanas.
Thou art the son of a Rishi and thyself a Rishi. Therefore, O son of
Nahusha, marry me.' Yayati, however, replied, 'O thou of the handsomest
features, the four orders have, indeed, sprung from one body. But their
duties and purity are not the same, the Brahmana being truly superior to
all.' Devayani answered, 'This hand of mine hath never been touched before
by any man save thee. Therefore, do I accept thee for my lord. How, indeed,
shall any other man touch my hand which had before been touched by thyself
who art a Rishi?' Yayati then said, 'The wise know that a Brahmana is more
to be avoided than an angry snake of virulent poison, or a blazing fire of
spreading flames.' Devayani then told the monarch, 'O bull amongst men,
why dost thou, indeed, say that Brahmana should be more avoided than an
angry snake of virulent poison or a blazing fire of spreading flames?' The
monarch answered, 'The snake killeth only one. The sharpest weapon slayeth
but a single person. The Brahmana, when angry destroyeth whole cities and
kingdoms! Therefore, O timid one, do I deem a Brahmana as more to be
avoided than either. I cannot hence wed thee, O amiable one, unless thy
father bestoweth thee on me.' Devayani then said, 'Thou art, indeed,
chosen by me. And, O king, it is understood that thou wilt accept me if
my father bestoweth me on thee. Thou needst not fear to accept my poor
self bestowed on thee. Thou dost not, indeed, ask for me.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'After this, Devayani quickly sent a maidservant
to her father. The maid represented to Sukra everything as it had happened.
And as soon as he had heard all, Bhargava came and saw Yayati. And
beholding Bhargava come, Yayati worshipped and adored that Brahmana, and
stood with joined palms in expectation of his commands.'

"And Devayani then said, 'This O father, is the son of Nahusha. He took
hold of my hand, when I was in distress. I bow to thee. Bestow me upon him.
I shall not wed any other person in the world.' Sukra exclaimed, 'O thou
of splendid courage, thou hast, indeed, been accepted as her lord by this
my dear daughter. I bestow her on thee. Therefore, O son of Nahusha,
accept her as thy wife.'

"Yayati then said, 'I solicit the boon, O Brahmana, that by so doing, the
sin of begetting a half-breed might not touch me.' Sukra, however, assured
him by saying, 'I shall absolve thee from the sin. Ask thou the boon that
thou desirest. Fear not to wed her. I grant thee absolution. Maintain
virtuously thy wife--the slender-waisted Devayani. Transports of happiness
be thine in her company. This other maiden, Vrishaparvan's daughter,
Sarmishtha should ever be regarded by thee. But thou shall not summon her
to thy bed.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Thus addressed by Sukra, Yayati then walked
round the Brahmana. And the king then went through the auspicious ceremony
of marriage according to the rites of the scriptures. And having received
from Sukra this rich treasure of the excellent Devayani with Sarmishtha
and those two thousand maidens, and duly honoured also by Sukra himself
and the Asuras, the best of monarchs, then, commanded by the high-souled
Bhargava, returned to his capital with a joyous heart.'"


SECTION LXXXII

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'Yayati then, on returning to his capital which was
like unto the city of Indra, entered his inner apartments and established
there his bride Devayani. And the monarch, directed by Devayani,
established Vrishaparvan's daughter Sarmishtha in a mansion especially
erected near the artificial woods of Asokas in his gardens. And the king
surrounded Vrishaparvan's daughter Sarmishtha with a thousand maids and
honoured her by making every arrangement for her food and garments. But it
was with Devayani that the royal son of Nahusha sported like a celestial
for many years in joy and bliss. And when her season came, the fair
Devayani conceived. And she brought forth as her first child a fine boy.
And when a thousand years had passed away, Vrishaparvan's daughter
Sarmishtha having attained to puberty saw that her season had come. She
became anxious and said to herself, 'My season hath arrived. But I have
not yet chosen a husband. O, what hath happened, what should I do? How am
I to obtain the fruition of my wishes? Devayani hath become mother. My
youth is doomed to pass away in vain. Shall I choose him also for my
husband whom Devayani hath chosen? This is, indeed, my resolve: that
monarch should give me a son. Will not the virtuous one grant me a private
interview?'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'While Sarmishtha was thus busy with her thoughts,
the king wandering listlessly came to that very wood of Asokas, and
beholding Sarmishtha before him, stood there in silence. Then Sarmishtha
of sweet smiles seeing the monarch before her with nobody to witness what
might pass, approached him and said with joined palms, 'O son of Nahusha,
no one can behold the ladies that dwell in the inner apartments of Soma,
of Indra, of Vishnu, of Yama, of Varuna, and of thee! Thou knowest, O king,
that I am both handsome and well-born. I solicit thee, O king! My season
hath arrived. See that it goeth not in vain.'

"Yayati answered, 'Well do I know that honour of birth is thine, born as
thou art in the proud race of the Danavas. Thou art also gifted with
beauty. I do not, indeed, see even the speck of a fault in thy feature.
But Usanas commanded me, while I was united with Devayani, that never
should Vrishaparvan's daughter he summoned to my bed.'

"Sarmishtha then said, 'It hath been said, O king, that it is not sinful
to lie on the occasion of a joke, in respect of women sought to be enjoyed,
on occasions of marriage, in peril of immediate death and of the loss of
one's whole fortune. Lying is excusable on these five occasions. O king,
it is not true that he is fallen who speaks not the truth when asked. Both
Devayani and myself have been called hither as companions to serve the
same purpose. When, therefore, thou hadst said that you wouldst confine
thyself to one only amongst as, that was a lie thou hadst spoken.' Yayati
replied, 'A king should ever be a model in the eyes of his people. That
monarch certainly meets with destruction who speaks an untruth. As for
myself, I dare not speak an untruth even if the greatest loss threatens
me!' Sarmishtha answered, 'O monarch, one may look upon her friend's
husband as her own. One's friend's marriage is the same as one's own. Thou
hast been chosen by my friend as her husband. Thou art as much my husband,
therefore.' Yayati then said, 'It is, indeed my vow always to grant what
one asketh. As thou askest me, tell me then what I am to do.' Sarmishtha
then said, 'Absolve me, O king, from sin. Protect my virtue. Becoming a
mother by thee, let me practise the highest virtue in this world. It is
said, O king, that a wife, a slave, and a son can never earn wealth for
themselves. What they earn always belongeth to him who owneth them. I am,
indeed, the slave of Devayani. Thou art Devayani's master and lord. Thou
art, therefore, O king, my master and lord as much as Devayani's! I
solicit thee! O, fulfil my wishes!'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Thus addressed by Sarmishtha, the monarch was
persuaded into the truth of all she spoke. He therefore, honoured
Sarmishtha by protecting her virtue. And they passed some time together.
And taking affectionate farewell of each other, they then parted, each
returning to whence he or she had come.

"And it came to pass that Sarmishtha of sweet smiles and fair eyebrows
conceived in consequence of that connection of hers with that best of
monarchs. And, O king, that lotus-eyed lady then in due course of time
brought forth a son of the splendour of a celestial child and of eyes
like lotus-petals.'"


SECTION LXXXIII

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'When Devayani of sweet smiles heard of the birth of
this child, she became jealous, and O Bharata, Sarmishtha became an object
of her unpleasant reflections. And Devayani, repairing to her, addressed
her thus, 'O thou of fair eye-brows, what sin is this thou hast committed
by yielding to the influence of lust?' Sarmishtha replied, 'A certain
Rishi of virtuous soul and fully conversant with the Vedas came to me.
Capable of granting boons he was solicited by me to grant my wishes that
were based on considerations of virtue. O thou of sweet smiles, I would
not seek the sinful fulfilment of my desires. I tell thee truly that this
child of mine is by that Rishi!' Devayani answered, 'It is all right if
that be the case, O timid one! But if the lineage, name, and family of
that Brahmana be known to thee, I should like to hear them.' Sarmishtha
replied, 'O thou of sweet smiles, in asceticism and energy, that Rishi is
resplendent like the Sun himself. Beholding him, I had not, any need to
make these enquiries--' Devayani then said, 'If this is true, if indeed,
thou hast obtained thy child from such a superior Brahmana, then, O
Sarmishtha, I have no cause of anger.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Having thus talked and laughed with each other,
they separated, Devayani returning to the palace with the knowledge
imparted to her by Sarmishtha. And, O king, Yayati also begot on Devayani
two sons called Yadu and Turvasu, who were like Indra and Vishnu. And
Sarmishtha, the daughter of Vrishaparvan, became through the royal sage
the mother of three sons in all, named Drahyu, Anu, and Puru.

"And, O king, it so came to pass that one day Devayani of sweet smiles,
by Yayati, went into a solitary part of the woods, (in the king's
extensive park). And there she saw three children of celestial beauty
playing with perfect trustfulness. And Devayani asked in surprise, 'Whose
children are they, O king, who are so handsome and so like unto the
children of the celestials? In splendour and beauty they are like thee, I
should think.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'And Devayani without waiting for a reply from
the king, asked the children themselves, 'Ye children, what is your
lineage? Who is your father? Answer me truly. I desire to know all.' Those
children then pointed at the king (with their forefingers) and spoke of
Sarmishtha as their mother.

"And having so said, the children approached the king to clasp his knees.
But the king dared not caress them in the presence of Devayani. The boys
then left the place, and made towards their mother, weeping in grief. And
the king, at this conduct of the boys, became very much abashed. But
Devayani, marking the affection of the children for the king learnt the
secret and addressing Sarmishtha, said, 'How hast thou dared to do me an
injury, being, as thou art, dependent on me? Dost thou not fear to have
recourse once more to that Asura custom of thine?'

"Sarmishtha said, 'O thou of sweet smiles, all that I told thee of a Rishi
is perfectly true. I have acted rightly and according to the precepts of
virtue, and therefore, do I not fear thee. When thou hadst chosen the king
for thy husband, I, too, chose him as mine. O beautiful one, a friend's
husband is, according to usage, one's own husband as well. Thou art the
daughter of a Brahmana and, therefore, deservest my worship and regard.
But dost thou not know that this royal sage is held by me in greater
esteem still?'

"Vaisampayana said, 'Devayani then, hearing those words of hers, exclaimed,
O king, thus, 'Thou hast wronged me, O monarch! I shall not live here any
longer.' And saying this, she quickly rose, with tearful eyes, to go to
her father. And the king was grieved to see her thus, and alarmed greatly,
followed in her foot-steps, endeavouring to appease her wrath. But
Devayani, with eyes red with anger, would not desist. Speaking not a word
to the king, with eyes bathed in tears, she soon reached the side of her
father Usanas, the son of Kavi. And beholding her father, she stood before
him, after due salutations. And Yayati also, immediately after, saluted
and worshipped Bhargava.'

"And Devayani said, 'O father, virtue hath been vanquished by vice. The
low have risen, and the high have fallen. I have been offended again by
Sarmishtha, the daughter of Vrishaparvan. Three sons have been begotten
upon her by this king Yayati. But, O father, being luckless I have got
only two sons! O son of Bhrigu, this king is renowned for his knowledge of
the precepts of religion. But, O Kavya, I tell thee that he hath deviated
from the path of rectitude.'

"Sukra, hearing all this, said, 'O monarch, since thou hast made vice thy
beloved pursuit, though fully acquainted with the precepts of religion,
invincible decrepitude shall paralyse thee!' Yayati answered, 'Adorable
one, I was solicited by the daughter of the Danava king to fructify her
season. I did it from a sense of virtue and not from other motives. That
male person, who being solicited by a woman in her season doth not grant
her wishes, is called, O Brahmana, by those conversant with the Vedas, a
slayer of the embryo. He who, solicited in secret by a woman full of
desire and in season, goeth not in unto her, loseth virtue and is called
by the learned a killer of the embryo, O son of Bhrigu, for these reasons,
and anxious to avoid sin, I went into Sarmishtha.' Sukra then replied,
'Thou art dependent on me. Thou shouldst have awaited my command. Having
acted falsely in the matter of thy duty, O son of Nahusha, thou hast been
guilty of the sin of theft.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Yayati, the son of Nahusha, thus cursed by the
angry Usanas, was then divested of his youth and immediately overcome by
decrepitude. And Yayati said, 'O son of Bhrigu, I have not yet been
satiated with youth or with Devayani. Therefore, O Brahmana, be graceful
unto me so that decrepitude might not touch me.' Sukra then answered, 'I
never speak an untruth. Even now, O king, art thou attacked by decrepitude.
But if thou likest, thou art competent to transfer this thy decrepitude to
another.' Yayati said, 'O Brahmana, let it be commanded by thee that that
son of mine who giveth me his youth shall enjoy my kingdom, and shall
achieve both virtue and fame.' Sukra replied, 'O son of Nahusha, thinking
of me thou mayst transfer this thy decrepitude to whomsoever thou likest.
That son who shall give thee his youth shall become thy successor to the
throne. He shall also have long life, wide fame, and numerous progeny!'"


SECTION LXXXIV

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'Yayati, then, overcome with decrepitude, returned to
his capital and summoning his eldest son Yadu who was also the most
accomplished, addressed him thus, 'Dear child, from the curse of Kavya
called also Usanas, decrepitude and wrinkles and whiteness of hair have
come over me. But I have not been gratified yet with the enjoyment of
youth. Do thou, O Yadu, take this my weakness along with my decrepitude. I
shall enjoy with thy youth. And when a full thousand years will have
elapsed, returning to thee thy youth, I shall take back my weakness with
this decrepitude!'

"Yadu replied, 'There are innumerable inconveniences in decrepitude, in
respect of drinking and eating. Therefore, O king, I shall not take thy
decrepitude. This is, indeed, my determination. White hair on the head,
cheerlessness and relaxation of the nerves, wrinkles all over the body,
deformities, weakness of the limbs, emaciation, incapacity to work, defeat
at the hands of friends and companions--these are the consequences of
decrepitude. Therefore, O king, I desire not to take it. O king, thou hast
many sons some of whom are dearer to thee. Thou art acquainted with the
precepts of virtue. Ask some other son of thine to take thy decrepitude.

"Yayati replied, 'Thou art sprung from my heart, O son, but thou givest me
not thy youth. Therefore, thy children shall never be kings.' And he
continued, addressing another son of his, 'O Turvasu, take thou this
weakness of mine along with my decrepitude. With thy youth, O son, I like
to enjoy the pleasure of life. After the lapse of a full thousand years I
shall give back to thee thy youth, and take back from thee my weakness and
decrepitude.'

"Turvasu replied, 'I do not like decrepitude, O father, it takes away all
appetites and enjoyments, strength and beauty of person, intellect, and
even life.' Yayati said to him, 'Thou art sprung from my heart, O son! But
thou givest me not thy youth! Therefore, O Turvasu, thy race shall be
extinct. Wretch, thou shall be the king of those whose practices and
precepts are impure, amongst whom men of inferior blood procreate children
upon women of blue blood, who live on meat, who are mean, who hesitate not
to appropriate the wives of their superiors, whose practices are those of
birds and beasts, who are sinful, and non-Aryan.'

"Vaisampayana said, 'Yayati, having thus cursed his son Turvasu, then,
addressed Sarmishtha's son Drahyu thus, 'O Drahyu, take thou for a
thousand years my decrepitude destructive of complexion and personal
beauty and give me thy youth. When a thousand years have passed away, I
shall return thee thy youth and take back my own weakness, and
decrepitude.' To this Drahyu replied, 'O king, one that is decrepit can
never enjoy elephants and cars and horses and women. Even his voice
becometh hoarse. Therefore, I do not desire (to take) thy decrepitude.'
Yayati said to him, 'Thou art sprung from my heart, O son! But thou
refusest to give me thy youth. Therefore, thy most cherished desires
shall never be fulfilled. Thou shalt be king only in name, of that
region where there are no roads for (the passage of) horses and cars
and elephants, and good vehicles, and asses, and goats and bullocks,
and palanquins; where there is swimming only by rafts and floats.'
Yayati next addressed Anu and said, 'O Anu, take my weakness and
decrepitude. I shall with thy youth enjoy the pleasures of life for a
thousand years.' To this Anu replied, 'Those that are decrepit always
eat like children and are always impure. They cannot pour libations
upon fire in proper times. Therefore, I do not like to take thy
decrepitude.' Yayati said to him, 'Thou art sprung from my heart, thou
givest not thy youth. Thou findest so many faults in decrepitude.
Therefore, decrepitude shall overcome thee! And, O Anu, thy progeny also
as soon as they attain to youth, shall die. And thou shalt also not be
able to perform sacrifices before fire.'

"Yayati at last turned to his youngest child, Puru, and addressing him
said, 'Thou art, O Puru, my youngest son! But thou shall be the first of
all! Decrepitude, wrinkles, and whiteness of hair have come over me in
consequence of the curse of Kavya called also Usanas. I have not yet
however, been satiated with my youth. O Puru, take thou this my weakness
and decrepitude! With thy youth I shall enjoy for some years the pleasures
of life. And when a thousand years have passed away, I shall give back to
thee thy youth and take back my own decrepitude.'

"Vaisampayana said, 'Thus addressed by the king, Puru answered with
humility, 'I shall do, O monarch, as thou bidest me. I shall take, O king,
thy weakness and decrepitude. Take thou my youth and enjoy as thou listest
the pleasures of life. Covered with thy decrepitude and becoming old, I
shall, as thou commandest, continue to live, giving thee my youth.' Yayati
then said, 'O Puru, I have been gratified with thee. And being gratified,
I tell thee that the people in thy kingdom shall have all their desires
fulfilled.'

"And having said this, the great ascetic Yayati, then thinking of Kavya,
transferred his decrepitude unto the body of the high-souled Puru.'"


SECTION LXXXV

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'The excellent monarch Yayati, the son of Nahusha,
having received Puru's youth, became exceedingly gratified. And with it he
once more began to indulge in his favourite pursuits to the full extent of
his desires and to the limit of his powers, according to seasons, so as to
derive the greatest pleasure therefrom. And, O king, in nothing that he
did, he acted against the precepts of his religion as behoved him well. He
gratified the gods by his sacrifices; the pitris, by Sraddhas; the poor,
by his charities; all excellent Brahmanas, by fulfilling their desires;
all persons entitled to the rites of hospitality, with food and drink; the
Vaisyas, by protection; and the Sudras, by kindness. And the king
repressed all criminals by proper punishments. And Yayati, gratifying all
sections of his subjects, protected them virtuously like another Indra.
And the monarch possessed of the prowess of a lion, with youth and every
object of enjoyment under control, enjoyed unlimited happiness without
transgressing the precepts of religion. And the king became very happy in
thus being able to enjoy all the excellent objects of his desires. And he
was only sorry when he thought that those thousand years would come to an
end. And having obtained youth for a thousand years, the king acquainted
with the mysteries of time, and watching proper Kalas and Kashthas sported
with (the celestial damsel) Viswachi, sometimes in the beautiful garden of
Indra, sometimes in Alaka (the city of Kuvera), and sometimes on the
summit of the mountain Meru on the north. And when the virtuous monarch
saw that the thousand years were full, he summoned his son, Puru, and
addressed him thus, 'O oppressor of foes, with thy youth, O son, I have
enjoyed the pleasures of life, each according to its season to the full
extent of my desires, to the limit of my powers. Our desires, however, are
never gratified by indulgence. On the other hand, with indulgence, they
only flame up like fire with libations of sacrificial butter. If a single
person were owner of everything on Earth--all her yields of paddy and
barley, her silver, gold, and gems, her animals and women, he would not
still be content. Thirst of enjoyment, therefore, should be given up.
Indeed, true happiness belongeth to them that have cast off their thirst
for worldly objects--a thirst which is difficult to be thrown off by the
wicked and the sinful, which faileth not with the failing life, and which
is truly the fatal disease of man. My heart hath for a full thousand years
been fixed upon the objects of desires. My thirst for these, however,
increaseth day by day without abating. Therefore, I shall cast it off, and
fixing my mind on Brahma I shall pass the rest of my days with the
innocent deer in the forest peacefully and with no heart for any worldly
objects. And O Puru, I have been exceedingly gratified with thee!
Prosperity be thine! Receive back this thy youth! Receive thou also my
kingdom. Thou art, indeed, that son of mine who has done me the greatest
services.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Then Yayati, the son of Nahusha, received back
his decrepitude. And his son Puru received back his own youth. And Yayati
was desirous of installing Puru, his youngest son, on the throne. But the
four orders, with the Brahmanas at their head, then addressed the monarch
thus, 'O king, how shall thou bestow thy kingdom on Puru, passing over thy
eldest son Yadu born of Devayani, and, therefore, the grandson of the
great Sukra? Indeed, Yadu is thy eldest son; after him hath been born
Turvasu; and of Sarmishtha's sons, the first is Drahyu, then Anu and then
Puru. How doth the youngest deserve the throne, passing all his elder
brothers over? This we represent to thee! O, conform to virtuous
practice.'

"Yayati then said, 'Ye four orders with Brahmanas at their head, hear my
words as to why my kingdom should not be given to my eldest son. My
commands have been disobeyed by my eldest son, Yadu. The wise say that he
is no son who disobeyeth his father. That son, however, who doth the
bidding of his parents, who seeketh their good, who is agreeable to them,
is indeed, the best of sons. I have been disregarded by Yadu and by
Turvasu, too. Much I have been disregarded by Drahyu and by Anu also. By
Puru alone hath my word been obeyed. By him have I been much regarded.
Therefore, the youngest shall be my heir. He took my decrepitude. Indeed,
Puru is my friend. He did what was so agreeable to me. It hath also been
commanded by Sukra himself, the son of Kavi, that, that son of mine who
should obey me will become king after me and bring the whole Earth under
his sway. I, therefore, beseech thee, let Puru be installed on the
throne.'

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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