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The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa by Kisari Mohan Ganguli (Translator)

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"And Santanu married Ganga, who bore him a son Devavrata who was
afterwards called Bhishma. And Bhishma, moved by the desire of doing good
to his father, got him married to Satyavati who was also called Gandhakali.
And in her maidenhood she had a son by Parasara, named Dwaipayana. And
upon her Santanu begat two other sons named Chitrangada and Vichitravirya.
And before they attained to majority, Chitrangada had been slain by the
Gandharvas. But Vichitravirya became king, and married the two daughters
of the king of Kasi, named Amvika and Amvalika. But Vichitravirya died
childless. Then Satyavati began to think as to how the dynasty of
Dushmanta might be perpetuated. Then she recollected the Rishi Dwaipayana.
The latter coming before her, asked, 'What are thy commands?' She said,
'Thy brother Vichitravirya hath gone to heaven childless. Beget virtuous
children for him.' Dwaipayana, consenting to this, begat three children,
viz., Dhritarashtra, Pandu, and Vidura. King Dhritarashtra had a hundred
sons by his wife, Gandhari in consequence of the boon granted by
Dwaipayana. And amongst those hundred sons of Dhritarashtra, four became
celebrated. They are Duryodhana, Duhsasana, Vikarna, and Chitrasena. And
Pandu had two jewels of wives, viz., Kunti, also called Pritha, and Madri.
One day Pandu, while out a-hunting, saw a deer covering its mate. That was
really a Rishi in the form of a deer. Seeing the deer in that attitude, he
killed it with his arrows, before its desire was gratified. Pierced with
the king's arrow, the deer quickly changed its form and became a Rishi,
and said unto Pandu, 'O Pandu, thou art virtuous and acquainted also with
the pleasure derived from the gratification of one's desire. My desire
unsatisfied, thou hast slain me! Therefore, thou also, when so engaged and
before thou art gratified, shalt die!' Pandu, hearing this curse, became
pale, and from that time would not go in unto his wives. And he told them
these words, 'Through my own fault, I have been cursed! But I have heard
that for the childless there are no regions hereafter.' Therefore, he
solicited Kunti to have offspring raised for him. And Kunti said, 'Let it
be.' So she raised up offspring. By Dharma she had Yudhishthira; by Maruta,
Bhima: and by Sakra, Arjuna. And Pandu, well-pleased with her, said, 'This
thy co-wife is also childless. Therefore, cause her also to bear children.'
Kunti saying, 'So be it,' imparted unto Madri the mantra of invocation.
And on Madri were raised by the twin Aswins, the twins Nakula and Sahadeva.
And (one day) Pandu, beholding Madri decked with ornaments, had his desire
kindled. And, as soon as he touched her, he died. Madri ascended the
funeral pyre with her lord. And she said unto Kunti, 'Let these twins of
mine be brought up by thee with affection.' After some time those five
Pandavas were taken by the ascetics of the woods to Hastinapura and there
introduced to Bhishma and Vidura. And after introducing them, the ascetics
disappeared in the very sight of all. And after the conclusion of the
speech of those ascetics, flowers were showered down upon the spot, and
the celestial drums also were beaten in the skies. The Pandavas were then
taken (by Bhishma). They then represented the death of their father and
performed his last honours duly. And as they were brought up there,
Duryodhana became exceedingly jealous of them. And the sinful Duryodhana
acting like Rakshasa tried various means to drive them away. But what must
be can never be frustrated. So all Duryodhana's efforts proved futile.
Then Dhritarashtra sent them, by an act of deception to Varanavata, and
they went there willingly. There an endeavour was made to burn them to
death; but it proved abortive owing to the warning counsels of Vidura.
After that the Pandavas slew Hidimva, and then they went to a town called
Ekachakra. There also they slew a Rakshasa of the name of Vaka and then
went to Panchala. And there obtaining Draupadi for a wife they returned to
Hastinapura. And there they dwelt for some time in peace and begat
children. And Yudhishthira begat Prativindhya; Bhima, Sutasoma; Arjuna,
Srutakriti; Nakula, Satanika; and Sahadeva, Srutakarman. Besides these,
Yudhishthira, having obtained for his wife Devika, the daughter of
Govasana of the Saivya tribe, in a self-choice ceremony, begat upon her a
son named Yaudheya. And Bhima also obtaining for a wife Valandhara, the
daughter of the king of Kasi, offered his own prowess as dower and begat
upon her a son named Sarvaga. And Arjuna also, repairing to Dwaravati,
brought away by force Subhadra, the sweet-speeched sister of Vasudeva, and
returned in happiness to Hastinapura. And he begat upon her a son named
Abhimanyu endued with all accomplishments and dear to Vasudeva himself.
And Nakula obtaining for his wife Karenumati, the princess of Chedi, begat
upon her a son named Niramitra. And Sahadeva also married Vijaya, the
daughter of Dyutimat, the king of Madra, obtaining her in a self-choice
ceremony and begat upon her a son named Suhotra. And Bhimasena had some
time before begat upon Hidimva a son named Ghatotkacha. These are the
eleven sons of the Pandavas. Amongst them all, Abhimanyu was the
perpetuator of the family. He married Uttara, the daughter of Virata, who
brought forth a dead child whom Kunti took up on her lap at the command of
Vasudeva who said, 'I will revive this child of six months.' And though
born before time, having been burnt by the fire of Aswatthaman's weapon
and, therefore, deprived of strength and energy he was revived by Vasudeva
and endued with strength, energy and prowess. And after reviving him,
Vasudeva said, 'Because this child hath been born in an extinct race,
therefore, he shall be called Parikshit.' And Parikshit married Madravati,
thy mother, O king, and thou art born to her, O Janamejaya! Thou hast also
begotten two sons on thy wife Vapushtama, named Satanika and Sankukarna.
And Satanika also hath begotten one son named Aswamedhadatta upon the
princess of Videha.

"Thus have I, O king, recited the history of the descendants of Puru and
of the Pandavas. This excellent, virtue-increasing, and sacred history
should ever be listened to by vow-observing Brahmanas, by Kshatriyas
devoted to the practices of their order and ready to protect their
subjects; by Vaisyas with attention, and by Sudras with reverence, whose
chief occupation is to wait upon the three other orders. Brahmanas
conversant in the Vedas and other persons, who with attention and
reverence recite this sacred history or listen to it when recited, conquer
the heavens and attain to the abode of the blessed. They are also always
respected and adored by the gods, Brahamanas, and other men. This holy
history of Bharata hath been composed by the sacred and illustrious Vyasa.
Veda-knowing Brahmanas and other persons who with reverence and without
malice hear it recited, earn great religious merits and conquer the
heavens. Though sinning, they are not disregarded by any one. Here occurs
a sloka, 'This (Bharata) is equal unto the Vedas: it is holy and excellent.
It bestoweth wealth, fame, and life. Therefore, it should be listened to
by men with rapt attention.'"


SECTION XCVI

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'There was a king known by the name of Mahabhisha born
in the race of Ikshvaku. He was the lord of all the earth, and was
truthful (in speech) and of true prowess. By a thousand horse-sacrifices
and a hundred Rajasuyas he had gratified the chief of the celestials and
ultimately attained to heaven.

"One day the celestials had assembled together and were worshipping
Brahman. Many royal sages and king Mahabhisha also were present on the
spot. And Ganga, the queen of rivers, also came there to pay her
adorations to the Grandsire. And her garments white as the beams of the
moon was displaced by the action of the wind. And as her person became
exposed, the celestials bent down their heads. But the royal sage
Mahabhisha rudely stared at the queen of rivers. And Mahabhisha was for
this cursed by Brahman, who said, 'Wretch, as thou hast forgotten thyself
at the sight of Ganga, thou shalt be re-born on earth. But thou shall
again and again attain to these regions. And she, too, shall be born in
the world of men and shall do thee injuries. But when thy wrath shall be
provoked, thou shalt then be freed from my curse.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'King Mahabhisha then recollecting all the
monarchs and ascetics on earth, wished to be born as son to Pratipa of
great prowess. And the queen of rivers, too, seeing king Mahabhisha lose
his firmness, went away, thinking of him wishfully. And on her way, she
saw those dwellers in heaven, the Vasus, also pursuing the same path. And
the queen of rivers beholding them in the predicament, asked them, 'Why
look ye so dejected? Ye dwellers in heaven, is everything right with you?'
Those celestials, the Vasus, answered her, saying, 'O queen of rivers, we
have been cursed, for a venial fault, by the illustrious Vasishtha in
anger. The foremost of excellent Rishis, Vasishtha, had been engaged in
his twilight adorations and seated as he was, he could not be seen by us.
We crossed him in ignorance. Therefore, in wrath he hath cursed us, saying,
Be ye born among men!' It is beyond our power to frustrate what hath been
said by that utterance of Brahma. Therefore, O river, thyself becoming a
human female make us the Vasus, thy children. O amiable one, we are
unwilling to enter the womb of any human female.' Thus addressed, the
queen of rivers told them, 'Be it so and asked them, 'On earth, who is
that foremost of men whom ye will make your father?'

"The Vasus replied, 'On earth, unto Pratipa shall be born a son, Santanu,
who will be a king of world-wide fame.' Ganga then said, 'Ye celestials,
that is exactly my wish which ye sinless ones have expressed. I shall,
indeed, do good to that Santanu. That is also your desire as just
expressed.' The Vasus then said, 'It behoveth thee to throw thy children
after birth, into the water, so that, O thou of three courses (celestial,
terrestrial, and subterranean) we may be rescued soon without having to
live on earth for any length of time.' Ganga then answered, 'I shall do
what ye desire. But in order that his intercourse with me may not be
entirely fruitless, provide ye that one son at least may live.' The Vasus
then replied, 'We shall each contribute an eighth part of our respective
energies. With the sum thereof, thou shall have one son according to thy
and his wishes. But this son shall not begat any children on earth.
Therefore, that son of thine endued with great energy, shall be
childless.'

"The Vasus, making this arrangement with Ganga, went away without waiting
to the place they liked.'"


SECTION XCVII

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said. 'There was a king of the name of Pratipa, who was kind
to all creatures. He spent many years in ascetic penances at the source of
the river Ganga. The accomplished and lovely Ganga, one day, assuming the
form of a beautiful female, and rising from the waters, made up to the
monarch. The celestial maiden, endued with ravishing beauty, approached
the royal sage engaged in ascetic austerities, and sat upon his right
thigh that was, for manly strength, a veritable Sala tree. When the maiden
of handsome face had so sat upon his lap, the monarch said unto her, 'O
amiable one, what dost thou desire? What shall I do?' The damsel answered,
'I desire thee, O king, for my husband! O foremost one of the Kurus, be
mine! To refuse a woman coming of her own accord is never applauded by the
wise.' Pratipa answered, 'O thou of the fairest complexion, moved by lust,
I never go in unto others' wives or women that are not of my order. This,
indeed, is my virtuous vow.' The maiden rejoined, 'I am not inauspicious
or ugly. I am every way worthy of being enjoyed. I am a celestial maiden
of rare beauty; I desire thee for my husband. Refuse me not, O king.' To
this Pratipa answered, 'I am, O damsel, abstaining from that course to
which thou wouldst incite me. If I break my vow, sin will overwhelm and
kill me. O thou of the fairest complexion, thou hast embraced me, sitting
on my right thigh. But, O timid one, know that this is the seat for
daughters and daughters-in-law. The left lap is for the wife, but thou
hast not accepted that. Therefore, O best of women, I cannot enjoy thee as
an object of desire. Be my daughter-in-law. I accept thee for my son!'

"The damsel then said, 'O virtuous one, let it be as thou sayest. Let me
be united with thy son. From my respect for thee, I shall be a wife of the
celebrated Bharata race. Ye (of the Bharata race) are the refuge of all
the monarchs on earth! I am incapable of numbering the virtues of this
race even within a hundred years. The greatness and goodness of many
celebrated monarchs of this race are limitless. O lord of all, let it be
understood now that when I become thy daughter-in-law, thy son shall not
be able to judge of the propriety of my acts. Living thus with thy son, I
shall do good to him and increase his happiness. And he shall finally
attain to heaven in consequence of the sons I shall bear him, and of his
virtues and good conduct.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'O king, having said so, the celestial damsel
disappeared then and there. And the king, too, waited for the birth of his
son in order to fulfil his promise.'

"About this time Pratipa, that light of the Kuru race, that bull amongst
Kshatriyas, was engaged, along with his wife, in austerities from desire
of offspring. And when they had grown old, a son was born unto them. This
was no other than Mahabhisha. And the child was called Santanu because he
was born when his father had controlled his passions by ascetic penances.
And the best of Kurus, Santanu, knowing that region of indestructible
bliss can be acquired by one's deeds alone, became devoted to virtue. When
Santanu grew up into a youth, Pratipa addressed him and said, 'Some time
ago, O Santanu, a celestial damsel came to me for thy good. If thou
meetest that fair-complexioned one in secret and if she solicit thee for
children, accept her as thy wife. And, O sinless one, judge not of the
propriety or impropriety of her action and ask not who she is, or whose or
whence, but accept her as thy wife at my command!'" Vaisampayana continued,
"Pratipa, having thus commanded his son Santanu and installed him on his
throne, retired into the woods. And king Santanu endued with great
intelligence and equal unto Indra himself in splendour, became addicted to
hunting and passed much of his time in the woods. And the best of monarchs
always slew deer and buffaloes. And one day, as he was wandering along the
bank of the Ganges, he came upon a region frequented by Siddhas and
Charanas. And there he saw a lovely maiden of blazing beauty and like unto
another Sri herself; of faultless and pearly teeth and decked with
celestial ornaments, and attired in garments of fine texture that
resembled in splendour the filaments of the lotus. And the monarch, on
beholding that damsel, became surprised, and his raptures produced instant
horripilation. With steadfast gaze he seemed to be drinking her charms,
but repeated draughts failed to quench his thirst. The damsel also
beholding the monarch of blazing splendour moving about in great agitation,
was moved herself and experienced an affection for him. She gazed and
gazed and longed to gaze on him evermore. The monarch then in soft words
addressed her and said, 'O slender-waisted one, be thou a goddess or the
daughter of a Danava, be thou of the race of the Gandharvas, or Apsaras,
be thou of the Yakshas or the Nagas, or be thou of human origin, O thou of
celestial beauty, I solicit thee to be my wife!'"


SECTION XCVIII

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'The maiden then, hearing those soft and sweet words
of the smiling monarch, and remembering her promise to the Vasus,
addressed the king in reply. Of faultless features, the damsel sending a
thrill of pleasure into the heart by every word she uttered, said, 'O king,
I shall become thy wife and obey thy commands. But, O monarch, thou must
not interfere with me in anything I do, be it agreeable or disagreeable.
Nor shall thou ever address me unkindly. As long as thou shalt behave
kindly I promise to live with thee. But I shall certainly leave thee the
moment thou interferest with me or speakest to me an unkind word.' The
king answered, 'Be it so.' And thereupon the damsel obtaining that
excellent monarch, that foremost one of the Bharata race for her husband,
became highly pleased. And king Santanu also, obtaining her for his wife,
enjoyed to the full the pleasure of her company. And adhering to his
promise, he refrained from asking her anything. And the lord of earth,
Santanu, became exceedingly gratified with her conduct, beauty,
magnanimity, and attention to his comforts. And the goddess Ganga also, of
three courses (celestial, terrestrial, and subterranean) assuming a human
form of superior complexion and endued with celestial beauty, lived
happily as the wife of Santanu, having as the fruit of her virtuous acts,
obtained for her husband, that tiger among kings equal unto Indra himself
in splendour. And she gratified the king by her attractiveness and
affection, by her wiles and love, by her music and dance, and became
herself gratified. And the monarch was so enraptured with his beautiful
wife that months, seasons, and years rolled on without his being conscious
of them. And the king, while thus enjoying himself with his wife, had
eight children born unto him who in beauty were like the very celestials
themselves. But, O Bharata, those children, one after another, as soon as
they were born, were thrown into the river by Ganga who said, 'This is for
thy good.' And the children sank to rise no more. The king, however, could
not be pleased with such conduct. But he spoke not a word about it lest
his wife should leave him. But when the eighth child was born, and when
his wife as before was about to throw it smilingly into the river, the
king with a sorrowful countenance and desirous of saving it from
destruction, addressed her and said, 'Kill it not! Who art thou and whose?
Why dost thou kill thy own children? Murderess of thy sons, the load of
thy sins is great!'" His wife, thus addressed, replied, 'O thou desirous
of offspring, thou hast already become the first of those that have
children. I shall not destroy this child of thine. But according to our
agreement, the period of my stay with thee is at an end. I am Ganga, the
daughter of Jahnu. I am ever worshipped by the great sages; I have lived
with thee so long for accomplishing the purposes of the celestials. The
eight illustrious Vasus endued with great energy had, from Vasishtha's
curse, to assume human forms. On earth, besides thee, there was none else
to deserve the honour of being their begetter. There is no woman also on
earth except one like me, a celestial of human form, to become their
mother. I assumed a human form to bring them forth. Thou also, having
become the father of the eight Vasus, hast acquired many regions of
perennial bliss. It was also agreed between myself and the Vasus that I
should free them from their human forms as soon as they would be born. I
have thus freed them from the curse of the Rishi Apava. Blest be thou; I
leave thee, O king! But rear thou this child of rigid vows. That I should
live with thee so long was the promise I gave to the Vasus. And let this
child be called Gangadatta.'"


SECTION XCIX

(Sambhava Parva continued)

"Santanu asked, 'What was the fault of the Vasus and who was Apava,
through whose curse the Vasus had to be born among men? What also hath
this child of thine, Gangadatta, done for which he shall have to live
among men? Why also were the Vasus, the lords of the three worlds,
condemned to be born amongst men? O daughter of Jahnu, tell me all.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Thus addressed, the celestial daughter of Jahnu,
Ganga, then replied unto the monarch, her husband, that bull amongst men,
saying, 'O best of Bharata's race, he who was obtained as son by Varuna
was called Vasishtha, the Muni who afterwards came to be known as Apava.
He had his asylum on the breast of the king of mountains called Meru. The
spot was sacred and abounded with birds and beasts. And there bloomed at
all times of the year flowers of every season. And, O best of Bharata's
race, that foremost of virtuous men, the son of Varuna, practised his
ascetic penances in those woods abounding with sweet roots and water.

"Daksha had a daughter known by the name of Surabhi, who, O bull of
Bharata's race, for benefiting the world, brought forth, by her connection
with Kasyapa, a daughter (Nandini) in the form of a cow. That foremost of
all kine, Nandini, was the cow of plenty (capable of granting every
desire). The virtuous son of Varuna obtained Nandini for his Homa rites.
And Nandini, dwelling in that hermitage which was adored by Munis, roamed
about fearlessly in those sacred and delightful woods.

"One day, O bull of Bharata's race, there came into those woods adored by
the gods and celestial Rishis, the Vasus with Prithu at their head. And
wandering there with their wives, they enjoyed themselves in those
delightful woods and mountains. And as they wandered there, the slender-
waisted wife of one of the Vasus, O thou of the prowess of Indra, saw in
those woods Nandini, the cow of plenty. And seeing that cow possessing the
wealth of all accomplishments, large eyes, full udders, fine tail,
beautiful hoofs, and every other auspicious sign, and yielding much milk,
she showed the animal to her husband Dyu. O thou of the prowess of the
first of elephants, when Dyu was shown that cow, he began to admire her
several qualities and addressing his wife, said, 'O black-eyed girl of
fair thighs, this excellent cow belongeth to that Rishi whose is this
delightful asylum. O slender-waisted one, that mortal who drinketh the
sweet milk of this cow remaineth in unchanged youth for ten thousand
years.' O best of monarchs, hearing this, the slender-waisted goddess of
faultless features then addressed her lord of blazing splendour and said,
'There is on earth a friend of mine, Jitavati by name, possessed of great
beauty and youth. She is the daughter of that god among men, the royal
sage Usinara, endued with intelligence and devoted to truth. I desire to
have this cow, O illustrious one, with her calf for that friend of mine.
Therefore, O best of celestials, bring that cow so that my friend drinking
of her milk may alone become on earth free from disease and decrepitude. O
illustrious and blameless one, it behoveth thee to grant me this desire of
mine. There is nothing that would be more agreeable to me.' On hearing
these words of his wife, Dyu, moved by the desire of humouring her, stole
that cow, aided by his brothers Prithu and the others. Indeed, Dyu,
commanded by his lotus-eyed wife, did her bidding, forgetting at the
moment the high ascetic merits of the Rishi who owned her. He did not
think at the time that he was going to fall by committing the sin of
stealing the cow.

"When the son of Varuna returned to his asylum in the evening with fruits
he had collected, he beheld not the cow with her calf there. He began to
search for them in the woods, but when the great ascetic of superior
intelligence found not his cow on search, he saw by his ascetic vision
that she had been stolen by the Vasus. His wrath was instantly kindled and
he cursed the Vasus, saying, 'Because the Vasus have stolen my cow of
sweet milk and handsome tail, therefore, shall they certainly be born on
earth!'

"O thou bull of Bharata's race, the illustrious Rishi Apava thus cursed
the Vasus in wrath. And having cursed them, the illustrious one set his
heart once more on ascetic meditation. And after that Brahmarshi of great
power and ascetic wealth had thus in wrath cursed the Vasus, the latter, O
king, coming to know of it, speedily came into his asylum. And addressing
the Rishi, O bull among kings, they endeavoured to pacify him. But they
failed, O tiger among men, to obtain grace from Apava--that Rishi
conversant, with all rules of virtue. The virtuous Apava, however, said,
'Ye Vasus, with Dhava and others, ye have been cursed by me. But ye shall
be freed from my curse within a year of your birth among men. But he for
whose deed ye have been cursed by me he, viz., Dyu, shall for his sinful
act, have to dwell on earth for a length of time. I shall not make futile
the words I have uttered in wrath. Dyu, though dwelling on Earth, shall
not beget children. He shall, however, be virtuous and conversant with the
scriptures. He shall be an obedient son to his father, but he shall have
to abstain from the pleasure of female companionship.'

"Thus addressing the Vasus, the great Rishi went away. The Vasus then
together came to me. And, O king, they begged of me the boon that as soon
as they would be born, I should throw them into the water. And, O best of
kings, I did as they desired, in order to free them from their earthly
life. And O best of kings, from the Rishi's curse, this one only, viz.,
Dyu, himself, is to live on earth for some time.'

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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