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The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa by Kisari Mohan Ganguli (Translator)

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"Vaisampayana continued, 'Varga then addressing Arjuna, finished her
discourse, saying, 'Hearing these words of the Brahmana, we saluted him
with reverence and walked round him. Leaving that region we came away with
heavy hearts, thinking as we proceeded, 'Where shall we all soon meet with
that man who will give us back our own shapes (after our transformation)?'
As we were thinking of it, in almost a moment, O Bharata, we beheld even
the eminent celestial Rishi Narada. Beholding that Rishi of immeasurable
energy, our hearts were filled with joy. Saluting him with reverence, O
Partha, we stood before him, with blushing faces. He asked of us the cause
of our sorrow and we told him all. Hearing what had happened the Rishi
said, 'In the low-lands bordering on the southern ocean, there are five
regions of sacred water. They are delightful and eminently holy. Go ye
thither without delay. That tiger among men, Dhananjaya, the son of Pandu
of pure soul, will soon deliver you, without doubt, from this sad plight.'
O hero, hearing the Rishi's words, all of us came hither. O sinless one,
true it is that I have today been delivered by thee. But those four
friends of mine are still within the other waters here. O hero, do a good
deed by delivering them also.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Then, O monarch, that foremost of the Pandavas,
endued with great prowess, cheerfully delivered all of them from that
curse. Rising from the waters they all regained their own forms. Those
Apsaras then, O king, all looked as before. Freeing those sacred waters
(from the danger for which they had been notorious), and giving the
Apsaras leave to go where they chose, Arjuna became desirous of once more
beholding Chitrangada. He, therefore, proceeded towards the city of
Manipura. Arrived there, he beheld on the throne the son he had begotten
upon Chitrangada, and who was called by the name of Vabhruvahana. Seeing
Chitrangada once more, Arjuna proceeded, O monarch, towards the spot
called Gokarna.'"


SECTION CCXX

(Arjuna-vanavasa Parva continued)

"Vaisampayana said, 'Then Arjuna of immeasurable prowess saw, one after
another, all the sacred waters and other holy places that were on the
shores of the western ocean. Vibhatsu reached the sacred spot called
Prabhasa. When the invisible Arjuna arrived at that sacred and delightful
region, the slayer of Madhu (Krishna) heard of it. Madhava soon went there
to see his friend, the son of Kunti. Krishna and Arjuna met together and
embracing each other enquired after each other's welfare. Those dear
friends, who were none else than the Rishis Nara and Narayana of old, sat
down. Vasudeva asked Arjuna about his travels, saying, 'Why, O Pandava art
thou wandering over the earth, beholding all the sacred waters and other
holy places?' Then Arjuna told him everything that had happened. Hearing
everything, that mighty hero of Vrishni's race said, 'This is as it should
be.' And Krishna and Arjuna having sported as they liked, for some time at
Prabhasa, went to the Raivataka mountain to pass some days there. Before
they arrived at Raivataka, that mountain had, at the command of Krishna
been well-adorned by many artificers. Much food also had, at Krishna's
command, been collected there. Enjoying everything that had been collected
there for him, Arjuna sat with Vasudeva to see the performances of the
actors and the dancers. Then the high-souled Pandava, dismissing them all
with proper respect, laid himself down on a well-adorned and excellent bed.
As the strong-armed one lay on that excellent bed, he described unto
Krishna everything about the sacred waters, the lakes and the mountains,
the rivers and the forests he had seen. While he was speaking of these,
stretched upon that celestial bed, sleep, O Janamejaya, stole upon him. He
rose in the morning, awakened, by sweet songs and melodious notes of the
Vina (guitar) and the panegyrics and benedictions of the bards. After he
had gone through the necessary acts and ceremonies, he was affectionately
accosted by him of the Vrishni race. Riding upon a golden car, the hero
then set out for Dwaraka, the capital of the Yadavas. And, O Janamejaya,
for honouring the son of Kunti, the city of Dwaraka, was well-adorned,
even all the gardens and houses within it. The citizens of Dwaraka,
desirous of beholding the son of Kunti, began to pour eagerly into the
public thoroughfares by hundreds of thousands. In the public squares and
thoroughfares, hundreds and thousands of women, mixing with the men,
swelled the great crowd of the Bhojas, the Vrishnis, and the Andhakas,
that had collected there. Arjuna was welcomed with respect by all the sons
of Bhojas, the Vrishnis, and the Andhakas. And he, in his turn, worshipped
those that deserved his worship, receiving their blessings. The hero was
welcomed with affectionate reception by all the young men of the Yadava
tribe. He repeatedly embraced all that were equal to him in age. Wending
then to the delightful mansion of Krishna that was filled with gems and
every article of enjoyment, he took up his abode there with Krishna for
many days.'"


SECTION CCXXI

(Subhadra-harana Parva)

"Vaisampayana said, 'O best of monarchs, within a few days after this,
there commenced on the Raivataka mountain, a grand festival of the
Vrishnis and the Andhakas. At the mountain-festival of the Bhojas, the
Vrishnis and the Andhakas, the heroes of those tribes began to give away
much wealth unto Brahmanas by thousands. The region around that hill, O
king was adorned with many a mansion decked with gems and many an
artificial tree of gaudy hue. The musicians struck up in concert and the
dancers began to dance and the vocalists to sing. And the youth of the
Vrishni race, endued with great energy, adorned with every ornament, and
riding in their gold-decked cars, looked extremely handsome. The citizens,
some on foot and some in excellent cars, with their wives and followers
were there by hundreds and thousands. And there was the lord Haladhara
(Valarama), roving at will, hilarious with drink, accompanied by (his
wife) Revati, and followed by many musicians and vocalists. There came
Ugrasena also, the powerful king of the Vrishni race, accompanied by his
thousand wives and followed by sweet singers. And Raukmineya and Shamva
also, ever furious in battle, roved there, excited with drink and adorned
with floral wreaths of great beauty and with costly attires, and disported
themselves like a pair of celestials. And Akrura and Sarana and Gada, and
Vabhru, and Nisatha, and Charudeshna, and Prithu, Viprithu, and Satyaka,
and Satyaki, and Bhangakara, and Maharava, and Hardikya, and Uddhava, and
many others whose names are not given, accompanied by their wives that
followed by bands of singers, adorned that mountain-festival. When that
delightful festival of immense grandeur commenced, Vasudeva and Partha
went about, together, beholding everything around. While wandering there,
they saw the handsome daughter of Vasudeva, Bhadra by name, decked with
every ornament, in the midst of her maids. As soon as Arjuna beheld her he
was possessed by the god of desire. Then, O Bharata, that tiger among men,
Krishna, observing Partha contemplate her with absorbed attention, said
with a smile, 'How is this? Can the heart of one that rangeth the woods be
agitated by the god of desire? This is my sister, O Partha, and the
uterine sister of Sarana. Blest be thou, her name is Bhadra and she is the
favourite daughter of my father. Tell me if thy heart is fixed upon her,
for I shall then speak to my father myself.'

"Arjuna answered, 'She is Vasudeva's daughter and Vasudeva's (Krishna)
sister; endued with so much beauty, whom can she not fascinate? If this
thy sister, this maid of the Vrishni race, becometh my wife, truly may I
win prosperity in everything. Tell me, O Janardana, by what means I may
obtain her. To get her I will achieve anything that is achievable by man.'

"Vasudeva answered, 'O bull amongst men, self-choice hath been ordained
for the marriage of Kshatriyas. But that is doubtful (in its consequences),
O Partha, as we do not know this girl's temper and disposition. In the
case of Kshatriyas that are brave, a forcible abduction for purposes of
marriage is applauded, as the learned have said. Therefore O Arjuna, carry
away this my beautiful sister by force, for who knows what she may do at a
self-choice.' Then Krishna and Arjuna, having thus settled as to what
should be done sent some speedy messengers unto Yudhishthira at
Indraprastha, informing him of everything. The strong-armed Yudhishthira,
as soon as he heard it, gave his assent to it.'"


SECTION CCXXII

(Subhadra-harana Parva continued)

"'Then Dhananjaya, informed of the assent of Yudhishthira, and
ascertaining, O Janamejaya, that the maiden had gone to the Raivataka hill,
obtained the assent of Vasudeva also, after having settled in consultation
with him all that required to be done. Then that bull of Bharata's race,
that foremost of men, with Krishna's assent, riding in his well-built car
of gold equipped with rows of small bells and with every kind of weapon
and the clatter of whose wheels resembled the roar of the clouds and whose
splendour was like unto that of a blazing fire and which struck terror
into the hearts of all foes and unto which were yoked the steeds Saivya
and Sugriva, himself accoutred in mail and armed with sword and his
fingers encased in leathern gloves, set out, as it were, on a hunting
expedition. Meanwhile Subhadra, having paid her homage unto that prince of
hills, Raivataka and having worshipped the deities and made the Brahmanas
utter benedictions upon her, and having also walked round the hill, was
coming towards Dwaravati. The son of Kunti, afflicted with the shafts of
the god of desire, suddenly rushed towards that Yadava girl of faultless
features and forcibly took her into his car. Having seized that girl of
sweet smiles, that tiger among men proceeded in his car of gold towards
his own city (Indraprastha). Meanwhile, the armed attendants of Subhadra,
beholding her thus seized and taken away, all ran, crying towards the city
of Dwaraka. Reaching all together the Yadava court called by the name of
Sudharma, they represented everything about the prowess of Partha unto the
chief officer of the court. The chief officer of the court, having heard
everything from those messengers, blew his gold-decked trumpet of loud
blare, calling all to arms. Stirred up by that sound, the Bhojas, the
Vrishnis, and the Andhakas began to pour in from all sides. Those that
were eating left their food, and those that were drinking left their drink.
Those tigers among men, those great warriors of the Vrishni and the
Andhaka tribes, took their seats upon their thousand thrones of gold
covered with excellent carpets and variegated with gems and corals and
possessed of the lustre of blazing fire. Indeed they took their seats upon
those thrones, like blazing fires receiving faggots to increase their
splendour. And after they were seated in that court which was like unto a
conclave of the celestials themselves, the chief officer of the court,
assisted by those that stood at his back, spoke of the conduct of Jishnu.
The proud Vrishni heroes, of eyes red with wine, as soon as they heard of
it, rose up from their seats, unable to brook what Arjuna had done. Some
amongst them said, 'Yoke our cars', and some, 'Bring our weapons' and some
said, 'Bring our costly bows and strong coats of mail,' and some loudly
called upon their charioteers to harness their cars, and some, from
impatience, themselves yoked their horses decked with gold unto their cars.
And while their cars and armours and standards were being brought, loud
became the uproar of those heroes. Then Valadeva, white and tall as the
peak of Kailasa, decked with garlands of wild flowers and attired in blue
robes, and proud and intoxicated with drink, said these words:

'Ye senseless men, what are ye doing, when Janardana sitteth silent?
Without knowing what is in his mind, vainly do we roar in wrath! Let the
high-souled Krishna give out what he proposeth. Accomplish promptly what
he desireth to do.' Then all of them, hearing those words of Halayudha
that deserved to be accepted, exclaimed, 'Excellent! Excellent!' They then
all became silent. Silence having been restored by the words of the
intelligent Valadeva, they took their seats once more in that assembly.
Then Rama, that oppressor of foes, spoke unto Vasudeva, saying, 'Why, O
Janardana, sittest thou, gazing silently? O Achyuta, it was for thy sake
that the son of Pritha had been welcomed and honoured by us. It seemeth,
however, that that vile wretch deserved not our homage. What man is there
born of a respectable family that would break the plate after having dined
from it! Even if one desireth to make such an alliance, yet remembering
all the services he hath received, who is there, desirous of happiness,
that acts so rashly? That Pandava disregarding us and thee too hath today
outraged Subhadra, desiring (to compass) his own death. He hath placed his
foot on the crown of my head. How shall I, O Govinda, tamely bear it?
Shall I not resent it, even like a snake that is trodden upon? Alone shall
I today make the earth destitute of Kauravas! Never shall I put up with
this transgression by Arjuna.' Then all the Bhojas, Vrishnis, and Andhakas,
present there, approved of everything that Valadeva had said, deeply
roaring like unto a kettle-drum or the clouds.'"


SECTION CCXXIII

(Haranaharana Parva)

"Vaisampayana said, 'When the heroes of the Vrishni race began to speak
repeatedly in this strain, Vasudeva uttered these words pregnant with deep
import and consistent with true morality. 'Gudakesa (the conqueror of sleep
or he of the curly hair), by what he hath done, hath not insulted our
family. He hath without doubt, rather enhanced our respect. Partha knoweth
that we of the Satwata race are never mercenary. The son of Pandu also
regardeth a self-choice as doubtful in its results. Who also would approve
of accepting a bride in gift as if she were an animal? What man again is
there on earth that would sell his offspring? I think Arjuna, seeing these
faults in all the other methods took the maiden away by force, according
to the ordinance. This alliance is very proper. Subhadra is a renowned
girl. Partha too possesseth renown. Perhaps, thinking of all this, Arjuna
hath taken her away by force. Who is there that would not desire to have
Arjuna for a friend, who is born in the race of Bharata and the renowned
Santanu, and the son also of the daughter of Kuntibhoja? I do not see, in
all the worlds with Indra and the Rudras, the person that can by force
vanquish Partha in battle, except the three-eyed god Mahadeva. His car is
well-known. Yoked thereunto are those steeds of mine. Partha as a warrior
is well-known; and his lightness of hand is well-known. Who shall be equal
to him? Even this is my opinion: go ye cheerfully after Dhananjaya and by
conciliation stop him and bring him back. If Partha goes to his city after
having vanquished us by force, our fame will be gone. There is no disgrace,
however, in conciliation.' Hearing, O monarch, those words of Vasudeva,
they did as he directed. Stopped by them, Arjuna returned to Dwaraka and
was united in marriage with Subhadra. Worshipped by the sons of Vrishni's
race, Arjuna, sporting there as he pleased, passed a whole year in Dwaraka.
The last year of his exile the exalted one passed at the sacred region of
Pushkara. After the twelve years were complete he came back to
Khandavaprastha. He approached the king first and then worshipped the
Brahmanas with respectful attention. At last the hero went unto Draupadi.
Draupadi, from jealousy, spoke unto him, saying, 'Why tarriest thou here,
O son of Kunti? Go where the daughter of the Satwata race is!' And
Krishna lamented much in this strain. But Dhananjaya pacified her
repeatedly and asked for her forgiveness. And returning soon unto where
Subhadra, attired in red silk, was staying, Arjuna, sent her into the
inner apartments dressed not as a queen but in the simple garb of a
cowherd woman. But arrived at the palace, the renowned Subhadra looked
handsomer in that dress. The celebrated Bhadra of large and slightly red
eyes first worshipped Pritha. Kunti from excess of affection smelt the
head of that girl of perfectly faultless features, and pronounced infinite
blessing upon her. Then that girl of face like the full moon hastily went
unto Draupadi and worshipped her, saying, 'I am thy maid!' Krishna rose
hastily and embraced the sister of Madhava from affection, and said, 'Let
thy husband be without a foe!' Bhadra then, with a delighted heart, said
unto Draupadi, 'So be it!' From that time, O Janamejaya, those great
warriors, the Pandavas, began to live happily, and Kunti also became very
happy.'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'When that scorcher of foes, viz., Kesava of pure
soul and eyes, like lotus-petals, heard that the foremost of the Pandavas,
viz., Arjuna, had reached his own excellent city of Indraprastha, he came
thither accompanied by Rama and the other heroes and great warriors of the
Vrishni and the Andhaka tribes, and by his brothers and sons and many
other brave warriors. And Saurin came accompanied by a large army that
protected him. And there came with Saurin, that oppressor of foes, viz.,
the exceedingly liberal Akrura of great intelligence and renown, the
generalissimo of the brave Vrishni host. And there also came Anadhrishti
of great prowess, and Uddhava of great renown, of great intelligence, of
great soul, and a disciple of Vrihaspati himself. And there also came
Satyaka and Salyaka and Kritavarman and Satwata; and Pradyumna and Samva
and Nisatha and Sanku; and Charudeshna, and Jhilli of great prowess, and
Viprithu also and Sarana of mighty arms and Gada, the foremost of learned
men. These and many other Vrishnis and Bhojas, and Andhakas came to
Indraprastha, bringing with them many nuptial presents. King Yudhishthira,
hearing that Madhava had arrived, sent the twins out to receive him.
Received by them, the Vrishni host of great prosperity entered
Khandavaprastha well-adorned with flags and ensigns. The streets were well-
swept and watered and decked with floral wreaths and bunches. These were,
again, sprinkled over with sandalwood water that was fragrant and cooling.
Every part of the town was filled with the sweet scent of burning aloes.
And the city was full of joyous and healthy people and adorned with
merchants and traders. That best of men, viz., Kesava of mighty arms,
accompanied by Rama and many of the Vrishnis, Andhakas and Bhojas, having
entered the town, was worshipped by the citizens and Brahmanas by
thousands. At last Kesava entered the palace of the king which was like
unto the mansion of Indra himself. Beholding Rama, Yudhishthira received
him with due ceremonies. The king smelt the head of Kesava and embraced
him. Govinda, gratified with the reception, humbly worshipped Yudhishthira.
He also paid homage unto Bhima, that tiger among men. Yudhishthira the son
of Kunti then received the other principal men of the Vrishni and the
Andhaka tribes with due ceremonies. Yudhishthira reverentially worshipped
some as his superiors, and welcomed others as equals. And some he received
with affection and by some he was worshipped with reverence. Then
Hrishikesa of great renown gave unto the party of the bridegroom much
wealth. And unto Subhadra he gave the nuptial presents that had been given
to her by her relatives. Krishna gave unto the Pandavas a thousand cars of
gold furnished with rows of bells, and unto each of which were put four
steeds driven by well-trained charioteers. He also gave unto them ten
thousand cows belonging to the country of Mathura, and yielding much milk
and all of excellent colour. Well-pleased, Janardana also gave them a
thousand mares with gold harnesses and of colour white as the beams of the
moon. He also gave them a thousand mules, all well-trained and possessing
the speed of the wind, of white colour with black manes. And he of eyes
like lotus-petals also gave unto them a thousand damsels well-skilled in
assisting at bathing and at drinking, young in years and virgins all
before their first-season, well-attired and of excellent complexion, each
wearing a hundred pieces of gold around her neck, of skins perfectly
polished, decked with every ornament, and well-skilled in every kind of
personal service. Janardana also gave unto them hundreds of thousands of
draft horses from the country of the Valhikas as Subhadra's excellent
dower. That foremost one of Dasarha's race also gave unto Subhadra as her
peculium ten carrier-loads of first class gold possessing the splendour of
fire, some purified and some in a state of ore. And Rama having the plough
for his weapon and always loving bravery gave unto Arjuna, as a nuptial
present, a thousand elephants with secretions flowing in three streams
from the three parts of their bodies (the temple, the ears, and the anus)
each large as a mountain summit, irresistible in battle, decked with
coverlets and bells, well-adorned with other golden ornaments, and
equipped with excellent thrones on their backs. And that large wave of
wealth and gems that the Yadavas presented, together with the cloths and
blankets that represented its foam, and the elephants its alligators and
sharks, and the flags its floating weeds swelling into large proportions,
mingled with the Pandu ocean and filled it to the brim, to the great
sorrow of all foes. Yudhishthira accepted all those presents and
worshipped all those great warriors of the Vrishni and the Andhaka races.
Those illustrious heroes of the Kuru, the Vrishni, and the Andhaka races
passed their days in pleasure and merriment there like virtuous men (after
death) in the celestial regions. The Kurus and the Vrishnis with joyous
hearts amused themselves there, setting up at times loud shouts mingled
with clappings of the hand. Spending many days in sports and merriment
there, and worshipped by the Kurus all the while, the Vrishni heroes
endued with great energy then returned to the city of Dwaravati. And the
great warriors of the Vrishni and the Andhaka races set out with Rama in
the van, carrying with them those gems of the purest rays that had been
given them by those foremost ones of Kuru's race. And, O Bharata, the high-
souled Vasudeva remained there with Arjuna in the delightful city of
Indraprastha. And the illustrious one wandered over the banks of the
Yamuna in search of deer. And he sported with Arjuna piercing with his
shafts deer and wild boars. Then Subhadra, the favourite sister of Kesava,
gave birth to an illustrious son, like Puloma's daughter, (the queen of
heaven) bringing forth Jayanta. And the son that Subhadra brought forth
was of long arms, broad chest, and eyes as large as those of a bull. That
hero and oppressor of foes came to be called Abhimanyu. And the son of
Arjuna, that grinder of foes and bull among men, was called Abhimanyu
because he was fearless and wrathful. And that great warrior was begotten
upon the daughter of the Satwata race by Dhananjaya, like fire produced in
a sacrifice from within the sami wood by the process of rubbing. Upon the
birth of this child, Yudhishthira, the powerful son of Kunti, gave away
unto Brahmanas ten thousand cows and coins of gold. The child from his
earliest years became the favourite of Vasudeva and of his father and
uncles, like the moon of all the people of the world. Upon his birth,
Krishna performed the usual rites of infancy. The child began to grow up
like the Moon of the bright fortnight. That grinder of foes soon became
conversant with the Vedas and acquired from his father the science of
weapon both celestial and human, consisting of four branches and ten
divisions.

"Endued with great strength, the child also acquired the knowledge of
counteracting the weapons hurled at him by others, and great lightness of
hand and fleetness of motion forward and backward and transverse and
wheeling. Abhimanyu became like unto his father in knowledge of the
scriptures and rites of religion. And Dhananjaya, beholding his son,
became filled with joy. Like Maghavat beholding Arjuna, the latter beheld
his son Abhimanyu and became exceedingly happy. Abhimanyu possessed the
power of slaying every foe and bore on his person every auspicious mark.
He was invisible in battle and broad-shouldered as the bull. Possessing a
broad face as (the hood of) the snake, he was proud like the lion.
Wielding a large bow, his prowess was like that of an elephant in rut.
Possessed of a face handsome as the full-moon, and of a voice deep as the
sound of the drum or the clouds, he was equal unto Krishna in bravery and
energy, in beauty and in features. The auspicious Panchali also, from her
five husbands, obtained five sons all of whom were heroes of the foremost
rank and immovable in battle like the hills. Prativindhya by Yudhishthira,
Sutasoma by Vrikodara, Srutakarman by Arjuna, Satanika by Nakula, and
Srutasena by Sahadeva,--these were the five heroes and great warriors that
Panchali brought forth, like Aditi bringing forth the Adityas. And the
Brahmanas, from their foreknowledge, said unto Yudhishthira that as the
son of his would be capable of bearing like the Vindhya mountains the
weapons of the foe, he should be called Prativindhya. And because the
child that Draupadi bore to Bhimasena was born after Bhima had performed a
thousand Soma sacrifices, he came to be called Sutasoma. And because
Arjuna's son was born upon his return from exile during which he had
achieved many celebrated feats, that child came to be called Srutakarman.
While Nakula named his son Satanika after a royal sage of that name, in
the illustrious race of Kuru. Again the son that Draupadi bore to Sahadeva
was born under the constellation called Vahni-daivata (Krittika),
therefore was he called after the generalissimo of the celestial host,
Srutasena (Kartikeya). The sons of Draupadi were born, each at the
interval of one year, and all of them became renowned and much attached to
one another. And, O monarch, all their rites of infancy and childhood,
such as Chudakarana and Upanayana (first shave of the head and investiture
with the sacred threads) were performed by Dhaumya according to the
ordinance. All of them, of excellent behaviour and vows, after having
studied the Vedas, acquired from Arjuna a knowledge of all the weapons,
celestial and human. And, O tiger among kings, the Pandavas, having
obtained sons all of whom were equal unto the children of the celestials
and endued with broad chests, and all of whom became great warriors, were
filled with joy.'"

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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