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Eight Cousins by Louisa M. Alcott

L >> Louisa M. Alcott >> Eight Cousins

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Aunt Plenty was utterly dissimilar, being a stout, brisk old lady,
with a sharp eye, a lively tongue, and a face like a winter-apple.
Always trotting, chatting, and bustling, she was a regular Martha,
cumbered with the cares of this world and quite happy in them.

Rose was right; and while she softly read psalms to Aunt Peace,
the other ladies were talking about her little self in the frankest
manner.

"Well, Alec, how do you like your ward?" began Aunt Jane, as they
all settled down, and Uncle Mac deposited himself in a corner to
finish his doze.

"I should like her better if I could have begun at the beginning, and
so got a fair start. Poor George led such a solitary life that the child
has suffered in many ways, and since he died she has been going
on worse than ever, judging from the state I find her in."

"My dear boy, we did what we thought best while waiting for you
to wind up your affairs and get home. I always told George he was
wrong to bring her up as he did; but he never took my advice, and
now here we are with this poor dear child upon our hands. I, for
one, freely confess that I don't know what to do with her any more
than if she was one of those strange, outlandish birds you used to
bring home from foreign parts." And Aunt Plenty gave a perplexed
shake of the head which caused great commotion among the stiff
loops of purple ribbon that bristled all over the cap like crocus
buds.

"If my advice had been taken, she would have remained at the
excellent school where I placed her. But our aunt thought best to
remove her because she complained, and she has been dawdling
about ever since she came. A most ruinous state of things for a
morbid, spoilt girl like Rose," said Mrs. Jane, severely.

She had never forgiven the old ladies for yielding to Rose's
pathetic petition that she might wait her guardian's arrival before
beginning another term at the school, which was a regular Blimber
hot-bed, and turned out many a feminine Toots.

"I never thought it the proper school for a child in good
circumstances an heiress, in fact, as Rose is. It is all very well for
girls who are to get their own living by teaching, and that sort of
thing; but all she needs is a year or two at a fashionable finishing
school, so that at eighteen she can come out with eclat," put in
Aunt Clara, who had been a beauty and a belle, and was still a
handsome woman.

"Dear, dear! how short-sighted you all are to be discussing
education and plans for the future, when this unhappy child is so
plainly marked for the tomb," sighed Aunt Myra, with a lugubrious
sniff and a solemn wag of the funereal bonnet, which she refused
to remove, being afflicted with a chronic catarrh.

"Now, it is my opinion that the dear thing only wants freedom,
rest, and care. There is look in her eyes that goes to my heart, for it
shows that she feels the need of what none of us can give her a
mother," said Aunt Jessie, with tears in her own bright eyes at the
thought of her boys being left, as Rose was, to the care of others.

Uncle Alec, who had listened silently as each spoke, turned
quickly towards the last sister, and said, with a decided nod of
approval

"You've got it, Jessie; and, with you to help me, I hope to make the
child feel that she is not quite fatherless and motherless."

"I'll do my best, Alec; and I think you will need me, for, wise as
you are, you cannot understand a tender, timid little creature like
Rose as a woman can," said Mrs. Jessie, smiling back at him with
a heart full of motherly goodwill.

"I cannot help feeling that I, who have had a daughter of my own,
can best bring up a girl; and I am very much surprised that George
did not entrust her to me," observed Aunt Myra, with an air of
melancholy importance, for she was the only one who had given a
daughter to the family, and she felt that she had distinguished
herself, though ill-natured people said that she had dosed her
darling to death.

"I never blamed him in the least, when I remember the perilous
experiments you tried with poor Carrie," began Mrs. Jane, in her
hard voice.

"Jane Campbell, I will not hear a word! My sainted Caroline is a
sacred object," cried Aunt Myra, rising as if to leave the room.

Dr. Alec detained her, feeling that he must define his position at
once, and maintain it manfully if he hoped to have any success in
his new undertaking.

"Now, my dear souls, don't let us quarrel and make Rose a bone of
contention though, upon my word, she is almost a bone, poor little
lass! You have had her among you for a year, and done what you
liked. I cannot say that your success is great, but that is owing to
too many fingers in the pie. Now, I intend to try my way for a year,
and if at the end of it she is not in better trim than now, I'll give up
the case, and hand her over to someone else. That's fair, I think."

"She will not be here a year hence, poor darling, so no one need
dread future responsibility," said Aunt Myra, folding her black
gloves as if all ready for the funeral.

"By Jupiter! Myra, you are enough to damp the ardour of a saint!"
cried Dr. Alec, with a sudden spark in his eyes. "Your croaking
will worry that child out of her wits, for she is an imaginative puss,
and will fret and fancy untold horrors. You have put it into her
head that she has no constitution, and she rather likes the idea. If
she had not had a pretty good one, she would have been 'marked
for the tomb' by this time, at the rate you have been going on with
her. I will not have any interference please understand that; so just
wash your hands of her, and let me manage till I want help, then
I'll ask for it."

"Hear, hear!" came from the corner where Uncle Mac was
apparently wrapt in slumber.

"You were appointed guardian, so we can do nothing. But I predict
that the girl will be spoilt, utterly spoilt," answered Mrs. Jane,
grimly.

"Thank you, sister. I have an idea that if a woman can bring up two
boys as perfectly as you do yours, a man, if he devotes his whole
mind to it, may at least attempt as much with one girl," replied Dr.
Alec, with a humorous look that tickled the others immensely, for
it was a well-known fact in the family that Jane's boys were more
indulged than all the other lads put together.

"I am quite easy, for I really do think that Alec will improve the
child's health; and by the time his year is out, it will be quite soon
enough for her to go to Madame Roccabella's and be finished off,"
said Aunt Clara, settling her rings, and thinking, with languid
satisfaction, of the time when she could bring out a pretty and
accomplished niece.

"I suppose you will stay here in the old place, unless you think of
marrying, and it's high time you did," put in Mrs. Jane, much
nettled at her brother's last hit.

"No, thank you. Come and have a cigar, Mac," said Dr. Alec,
abruptly.

"Don't marry; women enough in the family already," muttered
Uncle Mac; and then the gentlemen hastily fled.

"Aunt Peace would like to see you all, she says," was the message
Rose brought before the ladies could begin again.

"Hectic, hectic! dear me, dear me!" murmured Aunt Myra, as the
shadow of her gloomy bonnet fell upon Rose, and the stiff tips of a
black glove touched the cheek where the colour deepened under so
many eyes.

"I am glad these pretty curls are natural; they will be invaluable by
and by," said Aunt Clara, taking an observation with her head on
one side.

"Now that your uncle has come, I no longer expect you to review
the studies of the past year. I trust your time will not be entirely
wasted in frivolous sports, however," added Aunt Jane, sailing out
of the room with the air of a martyr.

Aunt Jessie said not a word, but kissed her little niece, with a look
of tender sympathy that made Rose cling to her a minute, and
follow her with grateful eyes as the door closed behind her.

After everybody had gone home, Dr. Alec paced up and down the
lower hall in the twilight for an hour, thinking so intently that
sometimes he frowned, sometimes he smiled, and more than once
he stood still in a brown study. All of a sudden he said, half aloud,
as if he had made up his mind

"I might as well begin at once, and give the child something new to
think about, for Myra's dismals and Jane's lectures have made her
as blue as a little indigo bag."

Diving into one of the trunks that stood in a corner, he brought up,
after a brisk rummage, a silken cushion, prettily embroidered, and
a quaint cup of dark carved wood.

"This will do for a start," he said, as he plumped up the cushion
and dusted the cup. "It won't do to begin too energetically, or Rose
will be frightened. I must beguile her gently and pleasantly along
till I've won her confidence, and then she will be ready for
anything."

Just then Phebe came out of the dining-room with a plate of brown
bread, for Rose had been allowed no hot biscuit for tea.

"I'll relieve you of some of that," said Dr. Alec, and, helping
himself to a generous slice, he retired to the study, leaving Phebe
to wonder at his appetite.

She would have wondered still more if she had seen him making
that brown bread into neat little pills, which he packed into an
attractive ivory box, out of which he emptied his own bits of
lovage.

"There! if they insist on medicine, I'll order these, and no harm
will be done. I will have my own way, but I'll keep the peace, if
possible, and confess the joke when my experiment has
succeeded," he said to himself, looking very much like a
mischievous boy, as he went on with his innocent prescriptions.

Rose was playing softly on the small organ that stood in the upper
hall, so that Aunt Peace could enjoy it; and all the while he talked
with the old ladies, Uncle Alec was listening to the fitful music of
the child, and thinking of another Rose who used to play for him.

As the clock struck eight, he called out

"Time for my girl to be abed, else she won't be up early, and I'm
full of jolly plans for to-morrow. Come and see what I've found for
you to begin upon."

Rose ran in and listened with bright attentive face, while Dr. Alec
said impressively

"In my wanderings over the face of the earth, I have picked up
some excellent remedies, and, as they are rather agreeable ones, I
think you and I will try them. This is a herb-pillow, given to me by
a wise old woman when I was ill in India. It is filled with saffron,
poppies, and other soothing plants; so lay your little head on it
to-night, sleep sweetly without a dream, and wake to-morrow
without a pain."

"Shall I really? How nice it smells." And Rose willingly received
the pretty pillow, and stood enjoying its faint, sweet odour, as she
listened to the doctor's next remedy.

"This is the cup I told you of. Its virtue depends, they say, on the
drinker filling it himself; so you must learn to milk. I'll teach you."

"I'm afraid I never can," said Rose; but she surveyed the cup with
favour, for a funny little imp danced on the handle, as if all ready
to take a header into the white sea below.

"Don't you think she ought to have something more strengthening
than milk, Alec? I really shall feel anxious if she does not have a
tonic of some sort," said Aunt Plenty, eyeing the new remedies
suspiciously, for she had more faith in her old-fashioned doses
than all the magic cups and poppy pillows of the East.

"Well, ma'am, I'm willing to give her a pill, if you think best. It is
a very simple one, and very large quantities may be taken without
harm. You know hasheesh is the extract of hemp? Well, this is a
preparation of corn and rye, much used in old times, and I hope
it will be again."

"Dear me, how singular!" said Aunt Plenty, bringing her spectacles
to bear upon the pills, with a face so full of respectful interest that
it was almost too much for Dr. Alec's gravity.

"Take one in the morning, and a good-night to you, my dear," he
said, dismissing his patient with a hearty kiss.

Then, as she vanished, he put both hands into his hair, exclaiming,
with a comical mixture of anxiety and amusement

"When I think what I have undertaken, I declare to you, aunt, I feel
like running away and not coming back till Rose is eighteen!"



Chapter 5 - A Belt and a Box

When Rose came out of her chamber, cup in hand, next morning,
the first person she saw was Uncle Alec standing on the threshold
of the room opposite, which he appeared to be examining with
care. When he heard her step, he turned about and began to sing

"Where are you going, my pretty maid?"

"I'm going a-milking, sir, she said," answered Rose, waving the
cup; and then they finished the verse together in fine style.

Before either spoke, a head, in a nightcap so large and beruffled
that it looked like a cabbage, popped out of a room farther down
the hall, and an astonished voice exclaimed

"What in the world are you doing about so early?"

"Clearing our pipes for the day, ma'am. Look here, auntie, can I
have this room?" said Dr. Alec, making her a sailor's bow.

"Any room you like, except sister's."

"Thanks. And may I go rummaging round in the garrets and
glory-holes to furnish it as I like?"

"My dear boy, you may turn the house upside down if you will
only stay in it."

"That's a handsome offer, I'm sure. I'll stay, ma'am; here's my little
anchor, so you will get more than you want of me this time."

"That's inpossible! Put on your jacket, Rose. Don't tire her out with
antics, Alec. Yes, sister, I'm coming!" and the cabbage vanished
suddenly.

The first milking lesson was a droll one; but after several scares
and many vain attempts, Rose at last managed to fill her cup, while
Ben held Clover's tail so that it could not flap, and Dr. Alec kept
her from turning to stare at the new milkmaid, who objected to
both these proceedings very much.

"You look chilly in spite of all this laughing. Take a smart run
round the garden and get up a glow," said the doctor, as they left
the barn.

"I'm too old for running, uncle; Miss Power said it was not
lady-like for girls in their teens," answered Rose, primly.

"I take the liberty of differing from Madame Prunes and Prisms,
and, as your physician, I order you to run. Off with you!" said
Uncle Alec, with a look and a gesture that made Rose scurry away
as fast as she could go.

Anxious to please him, she raced round the beds till she came back
to the porch where he stood, and, dropping down upon the steps,
she sat panting, with cheeks as rosy as the rigolette on her
shoulders.

"Very well done, child; I see you have not lost the use of your
limbs though you are in your teens. That belt is too tight; unfasten
it, then you can take a long breath without panting so."

"It isn't tight, sir; I can breathe perfectly well," began Rose, trying
to compose herself.

Her uncle's only answer was to lift her up and unhook the new belt
of which she was so proud. The moment the clasp was open the
belt flew apart several inches, for it was impossible to restrain the
involuntary sigh of relief that flatly contradicted her words.

"Why, I didn't know it was tight! it didn't feel so a bit. Of course it
would open if I puff like this, but I never do, because I hardly ever
run," explained Rose, rather discomfited by this discovery.

"I see you don't half fill your lungs, and so you can wear this
absurd thing without feeling it. The idea of cramping a tender little
waist in a stiff band of leather and steel just when it ought to be
growing," said Dr. Alec, surveying the belt with great disfavour as
he put the clasp forward several holes, to Rose's secret dismay, for
she was proud of her slender figure, and daily rejoiced that she
wasn't as stout as Luly Miller, a former schoolmate, who vainly
tried to repress her plumpness.

"It will fall off if it is so loose," she said anxiously, as she stood
watching him pull her precious belt about.

"Not if you keep taking long breaths to hold it on. That is what I
want you to do, and when you have filled this out we will go on
enlarging it till your waist is more like that of Hebe, goddess of
health, and less like that of a fashion-plate the ugliest thing
imaginable."

"How it does look!" and Rose gave a glance of scorn at the loose
belt hanging round her trim little waist. "It will be lost, and then I
shall feel badly, for it cost ever so much, and is real steel and
Russia leather. Just smell how nice."

"If it is lost I'll give you a better one. A soft silken sash is much
fitter for a pretty child like you than a plated harness like this; and
I've got no end of Italian scarfs and Turkish sashes among my
traps. Ah! that makes you feel better, doesn't it?" and he pinched
the cheek that had suddenly dimpled with a smile.

"It is very silly of me, but I can't help liking to know that" here she
stopped and blushed and held down her head, ashamed to add,
"you think I am pretty."

Dr. Alec's eyed twinkled, but he said very soberly

"Rose, are you vain?"

"I'm afraid I am," answered a very meek voice from behind the veil
of hair that hid the red face.

"That is a sad fault." And he sighed as if grieved at the confession.

"I know it is, and I try not to be; but people praise me, and I can't
help liking it, for I really don't think I am repulsive."

The last word and the funny tone in which it was uttered were too
much for Dr. Alec, and he laughed in spite of himself, to Rose's
great relief.

"I quite agree with you; and in order that you may be still less
repulsive, I want you to grow as fine a girl as Phebe."

"Phebe!" and Rose looked so amazed that her uncle nearly went
off again.

"Yes, Phebe; for she has what you need health. If you dear little
girls would only learn what real beauty is, and not pinch and starve
and bleach yourselves out so, you'd save an immense deal of time
and money and pain. A happy soul in a healthy body makes the
best sort of beauty for man or woman. Do you understand that, my
dear?"

"Yes, sir," answered Rose, much taken down by this comparison
with the girl from the poor-house. It nettled her sadly, and she
showed that it did by saying quickly

"I suppose you would like to have me sweep and scrub, and wear
an old brown dress, and go round with my sleeves rolled up, as
Phebe does?"

"I should very much, if you could work as well as she does, and
show as strong a pair of arms as she can. I haven't seen a prettier
picture for some time than she made of herself this morning, up to
the elbows in suds, singing like a blackbird whilst she scrubbed on
the back stoop."

"Well, I do think you are the queerest man that ever lived!" was all
Rose could find to say after this display of bad taste.

"I haven't begun to show you my oddities yet, so you must make up
your mind to worse shocks than this," he said, with such a
whimsical look that she was glad the sound of a bell prevented her
showing more plainly what a blow her little vanities had already
received.

"You will find your box all open up in auntie's parlor, and there
you can amuse her and yourself by rummaging to your heart's
content; I've got to be cruising round all the morning getting my
room to rights," said Dr. Alec, as they rose from breakfast.

"Can't I help you, uncle?" asked Rose, quite burning to be useful.

"No, thank you, I'm going to borrow Phebe for a while, if Aunt
Plenty can spare her."

"Anybody anything, Alec. You will want me, I know, so I'll give
orders about dinner and be all ready to lend a hand"; and the old
lady bustled away full of interest and good-will.

"Uncle will find that I can do some things that Phebe can't, so
now!" thought Rose, with a toss of the head as she flew to Aunt
Peace and the long-desired box.

Every little girl can easily imagine what an extra good time she
had diving into a sea of treasures and fishing up one pretty thing
after another, till the air was full of the mingled odours of musk
and sandalwood, the room gay with bright colours, and Rose in a
rapture of delight. She began to forgive Dr. Alec for the oatmeal
diet when she saw a lovely ivory workbox; became resigned to the
state of her belt when she found a pile of rainbow-coloured sashes;
and when she came to some distractingly pretty bottles of attar of
rose, she felt that they almost atoned for the great sin of thinking
Phebe the finer girl of the two.

Dr. Alec meanwhile had apparently taken Aunt Plenty at her word,
and was turning the house upside down. A general revolution was
evidently going on in the green-room, for the dark damask curtains
were seen bundling away in Phebe's arms; the air-tight stove
retiring to the cellar on Ben's shoulder; and the great bedstead
going up garret in a fragmentary state, escorted by three bearers.
Aunt Plenty was constantly on the trot among her store-rooms,
camphor-chests, and linen-closets, looking as if the new order of
things both amazed and amused her.

Half the peculiar performances of Dr. Alec cannot be revealed; but
as Rose glanced up from her box now and then she caught
glimpses of him striding by, bearing a bamboo chair, a pair of
ancient andirons, a queer Japanese screen, a rug or two, and finally
a large bathing-pan upon his head.

"What a curious room it will be," she said, as she sat resting and
refreshing herself with "Lumps of Delight," all the way from
Cairo.

"I fancy you will like it, deary," answered Aunt Peace, looking up
with a smile from some pretty trifle she was making with blue silk
and white muslin.

Rose did not see the smile, for just at that moment her uncle
paused at the door, and she sprang up to dance before him, saying,
with a face full of childish happiness

"Look at me! look at me! I'm splendid I don't know myself. I
haven't put these things on right, I dare say, but I do like them so
much!"

"You look as gay as a parrot in your fez and cabaja, and it does my
heart good to see the little black shadow turned into a rainbow,"
said Uncle Alec, surveying the bright figure before him with great
approbation.

He did not say it, but he thought she made a much prettier picture
than Phebe at the wash-tub, for she had stuck a purple fez on her
blonde head, tied several brilliant scarfs about her waist, and put
on a truly gorgeous scarlet jacket with a golden sun embroidered
on the back, a silver moon on the front, and stars of all sizes on the
sleeves. A pair of Turkish slippers adorned her feet, and necklaces
of amber, coral, and filigree hung about her neck, while one hand
held a smelling-bottle, and the other the spicy box of oriental
sweetmeats.

"I feel like a girl in the 'Arabian Nights,' and expect to find a magic
carpet or a wonderful talisman somewhere. Only I don't see how I
ever can thank you for all these lovely things," she said, stopping
her dance, as if suddenly oppressed with gratitude.

"I'll tell you how by leaving off the black clothes, that never should
have been kept so long on such a child, and wearing the gay ones
I've brought. It will do your spirits good, and cheer up this sober
old house. Won't it, auntie?"

"I think you are right, Alec, and it is fortunate that we have not
begun on her spring clothes yet, for Myra thought she ought not to
wear anything brighter than violet, and she is too pale for that."

"You just let me direct Miss Hemming how to make some of these
things. You will be surprised to see how much I know about piping
hems and gathering arm-holes and shirring biases," began Dr.
Alec, patting a pile of muslin, cloth and silk with a knowing air.

Aunt Peace and Rose laughed so that he could not display his
knowledge any farther, till they stopped, when he said
good-naturedly

"That will go a great way toward filling out the belt, so laugh
away, Morgiana, and I'll go back to my work, or I never shall be
done."

"I couldn't help it, 'shirred biases' were so very funny!" Rose said,
as she turned to her box after the splendid laugh. "But really,
auntie," she added soberly, "I feel as if I ought not to have so many
nice things. I suppose it wouldn't do to give Phebe some of them?
Uncle might not like it."

"He would not mind; but they are not suitable for Phebe. Some of
the dresses you are done with would be more useful, if they can be
made over to fit her," answered Aunt Peace in the prudent,
moderate tone which is so trying to our feelings when we indulge
in little fits of charitable enthusiasm.

"I'd rather give her new ones, for I think she is a little bit proud and
might not like old things. If she was my sister it would do, because
sisters don't mind, but she isn't, and that makes it bad, you see. I
know how I can manage beautifully; I'll adopt her!" and Rose
looked quite radiant with this new idea.

"I'm afraid you could not do it legally till you are older, but you
might see if she likes the plan, and at any rate you can be very kind
to her, for in one sense we are all sisters, and should help one
another."

The sweet old face looked at her so kindly that Rose was fired
with a desire to settle the matter at once, and rushed away to the
kitchen, just as she was. Phebe was there, polishing up the antique
andirons so busily that she started when a voice cried out: "Smell
that, taste this, and look at me!"

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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