Eight Cousins by Louisa M. Alcott

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Mr. Whang Lo was an elderly gentleman in American costume,
with his pig-tail neatly wound round his head. He spoke English,
and was talking busily with Uncle Mac in the most commonplace
way so Rose considered him a failure. But Fun See was
delightfully Chinese from his junk-like shoes to the button on his
pagoda hat; for he had got himself up in style, and was a mass of
silk jackets and slouchy trousers. He was short and fat, and
waddled comically; his eyes were very "slanting," as Rose said; his
queue was long, so were his nails; his yellow face was plump and
shiny, and he was altogether a highly satisfactory Chinaman.

Uncle Alec told her that Fun See had come out to be educated and
could only speak a little pigeon English; so she must be kind to the
poor fellow, for he was only a lad, though he looked nearly as old
as Mr. Whang Lo. Rose said she would be kind; but had not the
least idea how to entertain the queer guest, who looked as if he had
walked out of one of the rice-paper landscapes on the wall, and sat
nodding at her so like a toy Mandarin that she could hardly keep
sober.

In the midst of her polite perplexity, Uncle Mac saw the two young
people gazing wistfully at one another, and seemed to enjoy the
joke of this making acquaintance under difficulties. Taking a box
from his table, he gave it to Fun See, with an order that seemed to
please him very much.

Descending from his perch, he fell to unpacking it with great
neatness and despatch, while Rose watched him, wondering what
was going to happen. Presently, out from the wrappings came a
teapot, which caused her to clasp her hands with delight, for it was
made in the likeness of a plump little Chinaman. His hat was the
cover, his queue the handle, and his pipe the nose. It stood upon
feet in shoes turned up at the toes, and the smile on the fat, sleepy
face was so like that on Fun's when he displayed the teapot, that
Rose couldn't help laughing, which pleased him much.

Two pretty cups with covers, and a fine scarlet tray completed the
set, and made one long to have a "dish of tea," even in Chinese
style, without cream or sugar.

When he had arranged them on a little table before her, Fun
signified in pantomime that they were hers, from her uncle. She
returned her thanks in the same way, whereupon he returned to his
tea-chest, and, having no other means of communication, they sat
smiling and nodding at one another in an absurd sort of way till a
new idea seemed to strike Fun. Tumbling off his seat, he waddled
away as fast as his petticoats permitted, leaving Rose hoping that
he had not gone to get a roasted rat, a stewed puppy, or any other
foreign mess which civility would oblige her to eat.

While she waited for her funny new friend, she improved her mind
in a way that would have charmed Aunt Jane. The gentlemen were
talking over all sorts of things, and she listened attentively, storing
up much of what she heard, for she had an excellent memory, and
longed to distinguish herself by being able to produce some useful
information when reproached with her ignorance.

She was just trying to impress upon her mind that Amoy was two
hundred and eighty miles from Hong Kong, when Fun came
scuffling back, bearing what she thought was a small sword, till he
unfurled an immense fan, and presented it with a string of Chinese
compliments, the meaning of which would have amused her even
more than the sound, if she could have understood it.

She had never seen such an astonishing fan, and at once became
absorbed in examining it. Of course, there was no perspective
whatever, which only gave it a peculiar charm to Rose, for in one
place a lovely lady, with blue knitting-needles in her hair, sat
directly upon the spire of a stately pagoda. In another charming
view a brook appeared to flow in at the front door of a stout
gentleman's house, and out at his chimney. In a third a zig-zag wall
went up into the sky like a flash of lightning, and a bird with two
tails was apparently brooding over a fisherman whose boat was
just going aground upon the moon.

It was altogether a fascinating thing, and she would have sat
wafting it to and fro all the afternoon, to Fun's great satisfaction,
if Dr. Alec's attention had not suddenly been called to her by a
breeze from the big fan that blew his hair into his eyes, and
reminded him that they must go. So the pretty china was repacked,
Rose furled her fan, and with several parcels of choice teas for the
old ladies stowed away in Dr. Alec's pockets, they took their leave,
after Fun had saluted them with "the three bendings and the nine
knockings," as they salute the Emperor, or "Son of Heaven," at
home.

"I feel as if I had really been to China, and I'm sure I look so,"
said Rose, as they glided out of the shadow of the "Rajah."

She certainly did, for Mr. Whang Lo had given her a Chinese
umbrella; Uncle Alec had got some lanterns to light up her
balcony; the great fan lay in her lap, and the tea-set reposed at her
feet.

"This is not a bad way to study geography, is it?" asked her uncle,
who had observed her attention to the talk.

"It is a very pleasant way, and I really think I have learned more
about China to-day than in all the lessons I had at school, though I
used to rattle off the answers as fast as I could go. No one
explained anything to us, so all I remember is that tea and silk
come from there, and the women have little bits of feet. I saw Fun
looking at mine, and he must have thought them perfectly
immense," answered Rose, surveying her stout boots with sudden
contempt.

"We will have out the maps and the globe, and I'll show you some
of my journeys, telling stories as we go. That will be next best to
doing it actually."

"You are so fond of travelling, I should think it would be very dull
for you here, uncle. Do you know, Aunt Plenty says she is sure you
will be off in a year or two."

"Very likely."

"Oh, me! what shall I do then?" sighed Rose, in a tone of despair
that made Uncle Alec's face brighten with a look of genuine
pleasure as he said significantly

"Next time I go I shall take my little anchor with me. How will that
suit?"

"Really, uncle?"

"Really, niece."

Rose gave a little bounce of rapture which caused the boat to
"wiggle" in a way that speedily quieted her down. But she sat
beaming joyfully and trying to think which of some hundred
questions she would ask first, when Dr. Alec said, pointing to a
boat that was coming up behind them in great style

"How well those fellows row! Look at them, and take notes for
your own use by and by."

The "Stormy Petrel" was manned by half a dozen jaunty looking
sailors, who made a fine display of blue shirts and shiny hats, with
stars and anchors in every direction.

"How beautifully they go, and they are only boys. Why, I do
believe they are our boys! Yes, I see Charlie laughing over his
shoulder. Row, uncle, row! Oh, please do, and not let them catch
up with us!" cried Rose, in such a state of excitement that the new
umbrella nearly went overboard.

"All right, here we go!" and away they did go with a long steady
sweep of the oars that carried the "Bonnie Belle" through the water
with a rush.

The lads pulled their prettiest, but Dr. Alec would have reached
the Point first, if Rose, in her flurry, had not retarded him by
jerking the rudder ropes in a most unseamanlike way, and just as
she got right again her hat blew off. That put an end to the race,
and while they were still fishing for the hat the other boat came
alongside, with all the oars in the air, and the jolly young tars ready
for a frolic.

"Did you catch a crab, uncle?"

"No, a blue-fish," he answered, as the dripping hat was landed on a
seat to dry.

"What have you been doing?"

"Seeing Fun."

"Good for you, Rose! I know what you mean. We are going to have
him up to show us how to fly the big kite, for we can't get the hang
of it. Isn't he great fun, though?"

"No, little Fun."

"Come, stop joking, and show us what you've got."

"You'd better hoist that fan for a sail."

"Lend Dandy your umbrella; he hates to burn his pretty nose."

"I say, uncle, are you going to have a Feast of Lanterns?"

"No, I'm going to have a feast of bread and butter, for it's tea-time.
If that black cloud doesn't lie, we shall have a gust before long, so
you had better get home as soon as you can, or your mother will be
anxious, Archie."

"Ay, ay, skipper. Good-night, Rose; come out often, and we'll
teach you all there is to know about rowing," was Charlie's modest
invitation.

Then the boats parted company, and across the water from the
"Petrel's" crew came a verse from one of the Nonsense songs in
which the boys delighted.

"Oh, Timballoo! how happy we are,
We live in a sieve and a crockery jar!
And all night long, in the starlight pale,
We sail away, with a pea-green sail,
And whistle and warble a moony song
To the echoing sound of a coppery gong.
Far and few, far and few
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
And they went to sea in a sieve."

Chapter 8 - And what came of it

"Uncle, could you lend me a ninepence? I'll return it as soon as I
get my pocket-money," said Rose, coming into the library in a
great hurry that evening.

"I think I could, and I won't charge any interest for it, so you need
not be in any hurry to repay me. Come back here and help me
settle these books if you have nothing pleasanter to do," answered
Dr. Alec, handing out the money with that readiness which is so
delightful when we ask small loans.

"I'll come in a minute; I've been longing to fix my books, but didn't
dare to touch them, because you always shake your head when I
read."

"I shall shake my head when you write, if you don't do it better
than you did in making out this catalogue."

"I know it's bad, but I was in a hurry when I did it, and I am in one
now." And away went Rose, glad to escape a lecture.

But she got it when she came back, for Uncle Alec was still
knitting his brows over the list of books, and sternly demanded,
pointing to a tipsy-looking title staggering down the page

"Is that meant for 'Pulverized Bones,' ma'am?"

"No, sir; it's 'Paradise Lost.' "

"Well, I'm glad to know it, for I began to think you were planning
to study surgery or farming. And what is this, if you please?
'Babies' Aprons' is all I can make of it."

Rose looked hard at the scrawl, and presently announced, with an
air of superior wisdom

"Oh, that's 'Bacon's Essays.' "

"Miss Power did not teach anything so old-fashioned as writing, I
see. Now look at this memorandum Aunt Plenty gave me, and see
what a handsome plain hand that is. She went to a dame-school
and learnt a few useful things well; that is better than a smattering
of half a dozen so-called higher branches, I take the liberty of
thinking."

"Well, I'm sure I was considered a bright girl at school, and learned
everything I was taught. Luly and me were the first in all our
classes, and 'specially praised for our French and music and those
sort of things," said Rose, rather offended at Uncle Alec's
criticism.

"I dare say; but if your French grammar was no better than your
English, I think the praise was not deserved, my dear."

"Why, uncle, we did study English grammar, and I could parse
beautifully. Miss Power used to have us up to show off when
people came. I don't see but I talk as right as most girls."

"I dare say you do, but we are all too careless about our English.
Now, think a minute, and tell me if these expressions are correct
'Luly and me,' 'those sort of things,' and 'as right as most girls.' "

Rose pulled her pet curl and put up her lip, but had to own that she
was wrong, and said meekly, after a pause which threatened to be
sulky

"I suppose I should have said 'Luly and I,' in that case, and 'that sort
of things' and 'rightly,' though 'correctly' would have been a better
word, I guess."

"Thank you; and if you will kindly drop 'I guess,' I shall like my
little Yankee all the better. Now, see here, Rosy, I don't pretend to
set myself up for a model in anything, and you may come down on
my grammar, manners or morals as often as you think I'm wrong,
and I'll thank you. I've been knocking about the world for years,
and have got careless, but I want my girl to be what I call
well-educated, even if she studies nothing but the three 'Rs' for a
year to come. Let us be thorough, no matter how slowly we go."

He spoke so earnestly and looked so sorry to have ruffled her that
Rose went and sat on the arm of his chair, saying, with a pretty air
of penitence

"I'm sorry I was cross, uncle, when I ought to thank you for taking
so much interest in me. I guess no, I think you are right about
being thorough, for I used to understand a great deal better when
papa taught me a few lessons than when Miss Power hurried me
through so many. I declare my head used to be such a jumble of
French and German, history and arithmetic, grammar and music, I
used to feel sometimes as if it would split. I'm sure I don't wonder
it ached." And she held on to it as if the mere memory of the
"jumble" made it swim.

"Yet that is considered an excellent school, I find, and I dare say it
would be if the benighted lady did not think it necessary to cram
her pupils like Thanks-giving turkeys, instead of feeding them in a
natural and wholesome way. It is the fault with most American
schools, and the poor little heads will go on aching till we learn
better."

This was one of Dr. Alec's hobbies, and Rose was afraid he was off
for a gallop, but he reined himself in and gave her thoughts a new
turn by saying suddenly, as he pulled out a fat pocket-book

"Uncle Mac has put all your affairs into my hands now, and here is
your month's pocket money. You keep your own little accounts, I
suppose?"

"Thank you. Yes, Uncle Mac gave me an account book when I
went to school, and I used to put down my expenses, but I couldn't
make them go very well, for figures are the one thing I am not at
all clever about," said Rose, rummaging in her desk for a
dilapidated little book, which she was ashamed to show when she
found it.

"Well, as figures are rather important things to most of us, and you
may have a good many accounts to keep some day, wouldn't it be
wise to begin at once and learn to manage your pennies before the
pounds come to perplex you?"

"I thought you would do all that fussy part and take care of the
pounds, as you call them. Need I worry about it? I do hate sums,
so!"

"I shall take care of things till you are of age, but I mean that you
shall know how your property is managed, and do as much of it as
you can by and by; then you won't be dependent on the honesty of
other people."

"Gracious me! as if I wouldn't trust you with millions of billions if
I had them," cried Rose, scandalised at the mere suggestion.

"Ah, but I might be tempted; guardians are sometimes; so you'd
better keep your eye on me, and in order to do that you must learn
all about these affairs," answered Dr. Alec, as he made an entry in
his own very neat account-book.

Rose peeped over his shoulder at it, and then turned to the
arithmetical puzzle in her hand with a sigh of despair.

"Uncle, when you add up your expenses do you ever find you have
got more money than you had in the beginning?"

"No; I usually find that I have a good deal less than I had in the
beginning. Are you troubled in the peculiar way you mention?"

"Yes; it is very curious, but I never can make things come out
square."

"Perhaps I can help you," began Uncle Alec, in the most respectful
tone.

"I think you had better, for if I have got to keep accounts I may as
well begin in the right way. But please don't laugh! I know I'm very
stupid, and my book is a disgrace, but I never could get it straight."
And with great trepidation, Rose gave up her funny little accounts.

It really was good in Dr. Alec not to laugh, and Rose felt deeply
grateful when he said in a mildly suggestive tone

"The dollars and cents seem to be rather mixed, perhaps if I just
straightened them out a bit we should find things all right."

"Please do, and then show me on a fresh leaf how to make mine
look nice and ship-shape as yours do."

As Rose stood by him watching the ease with which he quickly
brought order out of chaos, she privately resolved to hunt up her
old arithmetic and perfect herself in the four first rules, with a
good tug at fractions, before she read any more fairy tales.

"Am I a rich girl, uncle?" she asked suddenly, as he was copying a
column of figures.

"Rather a poor one, I should say, since you had to borrow a
ninepence."

"That was your fault, because you forgot my pocket-money. But,
really, shall I be rich by and by?"

"I am afraid you will."

"Why afraid, uncle?"

"Too much money is a bad thing."

"But I can give it away, you know; that is always the pleasantest
part of having it I think."

"I'm glad you feel so, for you can do much good with your fortune
if you know how to use it well."

"You shall teach me, and when I am a woman we will set up a
school where nothing but the three R's shall be taught, and all the
children live on oatmeal, and the girls have waists a yard round,"
said Rose, with a sudden saucy smile dimpling her cheeks.

"You are an impertinent little baggage, to turn on me in that way
right in the midst of my first attempt at teaching. Never mind, I'll
have an extra bitter dose for you next time, miss."

"I knew you wanted to laugh, so I gave you a chance. Now, I will
be good, master, and do my lesson nicely."

So Dr. Alec had his laugh, and then Rose sat down and took a
lesson in accounts which she never forgot.

"Now come and read aloud to me; my eyes are tired, and it is
pleasant to sit here by the fire while the rain pours outside and
Aunt Jane lectures upstairs," said Uncle Alec, when last month's
accounts had been put in good order and a fresh page neatly begun.

Rose liked to read aloud, and gladly gave him the chapter in
"Nicholas Nickleby" where the Miss Kenwigses take their French
lesson. She did her very best, feeling that she was being criticised,
and hoping that she might not be found wanting in this as in other
things.

"Shall I go on, sir?" she asked very meekly, when the chapter
ended.

"If you are not tired, dear. It is a pleasure to hear you, for you read
remarkably well," was the answer that filled her heart with pride
and pleasure.

"Do you really think so, uncle? I'm so glad! Papa taught me, and I
read for hours to him, but I thought perhaps, he liked it because he
was fond of me."

"So am I; but you really do read unusually well, and I'm very glad
of it, for it is a rare accomplishment, and one I value highly. Come
here in this cosy, low chair; the light is better, and I can pull these
curls if you go too fast. I see you are going to be a great comfort as
well as a great credit to your old uncle, Rosy." And Dr. Alec drew
her close beside him with such a fatherly look and tone that she
felt it would be very easy to love and obey him, since he knew how
to mix praise and blame so pleasantly together.

Another chapter was just finished, when the sound of a carriage
warned them that Aunt Jane was about to depart. Before they
could go to meet her, however, she appeared in the doorway
looking like an unusually tall mummy in her waterproof, with her
glasses shining like cat's eyes from the depths of the hood.

"Just as I thought! petting that child to death and letting her sit up
late reading trash. I do hope you feel the weight of the
responsibility you have taken upon yourself, Alec," she said, with a
certain grim sort of satisfaction at seeing things go wrong.

"I think I have a very realising sense of it, sister Jane," answered
Dr. Alec, with a comical shrug of the shoulders and a glance at
Rose's bright face.

"It is sad to see a great girl wasting these precious hours so. Now,
my boys have studied all day, and Mac is still at his books, I've no
doubt, while you have not had a lesson since you came, I suspect."

"I've had five to-day, ma'am," was Rose's very unexpected answer.

"I'm glad to hear it; and what were they, pray?" Rose looked very
demure as she replied

"Navigation, geography, grammar, arithmetic, and keeping my
temper."

"Queer lessons, I fancy; and what have you learned from this
remarkable mixture, I should like to know?"

A naughty sparkle came into Rose's eyes as she answered, with a
droll look at her uncle

"I can't tell you all, ma'am, but I have collected some useful
information about China, which you may like, especially the teas.
The best are Lapsing Souchong, Assam Pekoe, rare Ankoe,
Flowery Pekoe, Howqua's mixture, Scented Caper, Padral tea,
black Congou, and green Twankey. Shanghai is on the Woosung
River. Hong Kong means 'Island of Sweet waters.' Singapore is
'Lion's Town.' 'Chops' are the boats they live in; and they drink tea
out of little saucers. Principal productions are porcelain, tea,
cinnamon, shawls, tin, tamarinds and opium. They have beautiful
temples and queer gods; and in Canton is the Dwelling of the Holy
Pigs, fourteen of them, very big, and all blind."

The effect of this remarkable burst was immense, especially the
fact last mentioned. It entirely took the wind out of Aunt Jane's
sails; it was so sudden, so varied and unexpected, that she had not
a word to say. The glasses remained fixed full upon Rose for a
moment, and then, with a hasty "Oh, indeed!" the excellent lady
bundled into her carriage and drove away, somewhat bewildered
and very much disturbed.

She would have been more so if she had seen her reprehensible
brother-in-law dancing a triumphal polka down the hall with Rose
in honour of having silenced the enemy's battery for once.

Chapter 9 - Phebe's Secret

"Why do you keep smiling to yourself, Phebe?" asked Rose, as
they were working together one morning, for Dr. Alec considered
house-work the best sort of gymnastics for girls; so Rose took
lessons of Phebe in sweeping, dusting and bed-making.

"I was thinking about a nice little secret I know, and couldn't help
smiling."

"Shall I know it, sometime?"

"Guess you will."

"Shall I like it?"

"Oh, won't you, though!"

"Will it happen soon?"

"Sometime this week."

"I know what it is! The boys are going to have fireworks on the
fourth, and have got some surprise for me. Haven't they?"

"That's telling."

"Well, I can wait; only tell me one thing is uncle in it?"

"Of course he is; there's never any fun without him."

"Then it's all right, and sure to be nice."

Rose went out on the balcony to shake the rugs, and, having given
them a vigorous beating, hung them on the balustrade to air, while
she took a look at her plants. Several tall vases and jars stood
there, and a month of June sun and rain had worked wonders with
the seeds and slips she had planted. Morning-glories and
nasturtiums ran all over the bars, making haste to bloom. Scarlet
beans and honeysuckles were climbing up from below to meet
their pretty neighbours, and the woodbine was hanging its green
festoons wherever it could cling.

The waters of the bay were dancing in the sunshine, a fresh wind
stirred the chestnut-trees with a pleasant sound, and the garden
below was full of roses, butterflies and bees. A great chirping and
twittering went on among the birds, busy with their summer
house-keeping, and, far away, the white-winged gulls were dipping
and diving in the sea, where ships, like larger birds, went sailing to
and fro.

"Oh, Phebe, it's such a lovely day, I do wish your fine secret was
going to happen right away! I feel just like having a good time;
don't you?" said Rose, waving her arms as if she was going to fly.

"I often feel that way, but I have to wait for my good times, and
don't stop working to wish for 'em. There, now you can finish as
soon as the dust settles; I must go do my stairs," and Phebe trudged
away with the broom, singing as she went.

Rose leaned where she was, and fell to thinking how many good
times she had had lately, for the gardening had prospered finely,
and she was learning to swim and row, and there were drives and
walks, and quiet hours of reading and talk with Uncle Alec, and,
best of all, the old pain and ennui seldom troubled her now. She
could work and play all day, sleep sweetly all night, and enjoy life
with the zest of a healthy, happy child. She was far from being as
strong and hearty as Phebe, but she was getting on; the once pale
cheeks had colour in them now, the hands were growing plump
and brown, and the belt was not much too loose. No one talked to
her about her health, and she forgot that she had "no constitution."
She took no medicine but Dr. Alec's three great remedies, and they
seemed to suit her excellently. Aunt Plenty said it was the pills;
but, as no second batch had ever followed the first, I think the old
lady was mistaken.

Rose looked worthy of her name as she stood smiling to herself
over a happier secret than any Phebe had a secret which she did
not know herself till she found out, some years later, the magic of
good health.

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