The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8 by Richard F. Burton

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When it was the Eight Hundred and Forty-fifth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Caliph
rejoiced at the recovery of Kut al-Kulub and knew that all this
was the doing of the Lady Zubaydah, his cousin-wife; wherefore he
was sore enraged against her and held aloof from her a great
while, visiting her not neither inclining to pardon her. When
she was certified of this, she was sore concerned for his wrath
and her face, that was wont to be rosy, waxed pale and wan till,
when her patience was exhausted, she sent a letter to her cousin,
the Commander of the Faithful making her excuses to him and
confessing her offences, and ending with these verses

"I long once more the love that was between us to regain, * That
I may quench the fire of grief and bate the force of bane.
O lords of me, have ruth upon the stress my passion deals *
Enough to me is what you doled of sorrow and of pain.
'Tis life to me an deign you keep the troth you deigned to plight
* 'Tis death to me an troth you break and fondest vows
profane:
Given I've sinned a sorry sin, ye grant me ruth, for naught * By
Allah, sweeter is than friend who is of pardon fain."

When the Lady Zubaydah's letter reached the Caliph, and reading
it he saw that she confessed her offence and sent her excuses to
him therefor, he said to himself, "Verily, all sins doth Allah
forgive; aye, Gracious, Merciful is He!" [FN#258] And he
returned her an answer, expressing satisfaction and pardon and
forgiveness for what was past, whereat she rejoiced greatly. As
for Khalifah, the Fisherman, the Caliph assigned him a monthly
solde of fifty dinars and took him into especial favour, which
would lead to rank and dignity, honour and worship. Then he
kissed ground before the Commander of the Faithful and went forth
with stately gait. When he came to the door, the Eunuch Sandal,
who had given him the hundred dinars, saw him and knowing him,
said to him, "O Fisherman, whence all this?" So he told him all
that had befallen him, first and last, whereat Sandal rejoiced,
because he had been the cause of his enrichment, and said to him,
"Wilt thou not give me largess of this wealth which is now become
thine?" So Khalifah put hand to pouch and taking out a purse
containing a thousand dinars, gave it to the Eunuch, who said,
"Keep thy coins and Allah bless thee therein!" and marvelled at
his manliness and at the liberality of his soul, for all his late
poverty. [FN#259] Then leaving the eunuch, Khalifah mounted his
she-mule and rode, with the slaves' hands on her crupper, till he
came to his lodging at the Khan, whilst the folk stared at him in
surprise for that which had betided him of advancement. When he
alighted from his beast they accosted him and enquired the cause
of his change from poverty to prosperity, and he told them all
that had happened to him from incept to conclusion. Then he
bought a fine mansion and laid out thereon much money, till it
was perfect in all points. And he took up his abode therein and
was wont to recite thereon these two couplets,

"Behold a house that's like the Dwelling of Delight; [FN#260] *
Its aspect heals the sick and banishes despite.
Its sojourn for the great and wise appointed it, * And Fortune
fair therein abideth day and night."

Then, as soon as he was settled in his house, he sought him in
marriage the daughter of one of the chief men of the city, a
handsome girl, and went in unto her and led a life of solace and
satisfaction, joyaunce and enjoyment; and he rose to passing
affluence and exceeding prosperity. So, when he found himself in
this fortunate condition, he offered up thanks to Allah (extolled
and excelled be He!) for what He had bestowed on him of wealth
exceeding and of favours ever succeeding, praising his Lord with
the praise of the grateful and chanting the words of the poet,

"To Thee be praise, O Thou who showest unremitting grace; * O
Thou whose universal bounties high and low embrace!
To Thee be praise from me! Then deign accept my praise for I *
Accept Thy boons and gifts with grateful soul in every case.
Thou hast with favours overwhelmed me, benefits and largesse *
And gracious doles my memory ne'er ceaseth to retrace.
All men from mighty main, Thy grace and goodness, drain and
drink; * And in their need Thou, only Thou, to them art
refuge-place!
So for the sake of him who came to teach mankind in ruth *
Prophet, pure, truthful-worded scion of the noblest race;
Ever be Allah's blessing and His peace on him and all * His aids
[FN#261] and kin while pilgrims fare his noble tomb to face!
And on his helpmeets [FN#262] one and all, Companions great and
good, * Though time Eternal while the bird shall sing in
shady wood!"

And thereafter Khalifah continued to pay frequent visits to the
Caliph Harun al-Rashid, with whom he found acceptance and who
ceased not to overwhelm him with boons and bounty: and he abode
in the enjoyment of the utmost honour and happiness and joy and
gladness and in riches more than sufficing and in rank ever
rising; brief, a sweet life and a savoury, pure as pleasurable,
till there came to him the Destroyer of delights and the Sunderer
of societies; and extolled be the perfection of Him to whom
belong glory and permanence and He is the Living, the Eternal,
who shall never die!

NOTE. I have followed the example of Mr. Payne and have
translated in its entirety the Tale of Khalifah the Fisherman
from the Breslau Edit. (Vol. iv. Pp. 315-365, Night ccxxi-
ccxxxii.) in preference to the unsatisfactory process of
amalgamating it with that of the Mac. Edit. given above.

Khalifah The Fisherman of Baghdad.

There was once, in days of yore and in ages and times long gone
before, in the city of Baghdad, a fisherman, by name Khalif, a
man of muckle talk and little luck. One day, as he sat in his
cell,[FN#263] he bethought himself and said, "There is no Majesty
and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!
Would Heaven I knew what is my offence in the sight of my Lord
and what caused the blackness of my fortune and my littleness of
luck among the fishermen, albeit (and I say it who should not) in
the city of Baghdad there is never a fisherman like myself." Now
he lodged in a ruined place called a Khan, to wit, an
inn,[FN#264] without a door, and when he went forth to fish, he
would shoulder the net, without basket or fish-slicers,[FN#265]
and when the folk would stare at him and say to him, "O Khalif,
why not take with thee a basket, to hold the fish thou
catchest?"; he would reply, "Even as I carry it forth empty, so
would it come back, for I never manage to catch aught." One night
he arose, in the darkness before dawn, and taking his net on his
shoulder, raised his eyes to heaven and said, "Allah mine, O Thou
who subjectedst the sea to Moses son of Imr n, give me this day
my daily bread, for Thou art the best of bread-givers!" Then he
went down to the Tigris and spreading his net, cast it into the
river and waited till it had settled down, when he haled it in
and drew it ashore, but behold, it held naught save a dead dog.
So he cast away the carcase, saying, "O morning of ill doom! What
a handsel is this dead hound, after I had rejoiced in its
weight[FN#266]!" Then he mended the rents in the net, saying,
"Needs must there after this carrion be fish in plenty, attracted
by the smell," and made a second cast. After awhile, he drew up
and found in the net the hough[FN#267] of a camel, that had
caught in the meshes and rent them right and left. When Khalif
saw his net in this state, he wept and said, "There is no Majesty
and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! I
wonder what is my offence and the cause of the blackness of my
fortune and the littleness of my luck, of all folk, so that I
catch neither cat-fish nor sprat,[FN#268] that I may broil on the
embers and eat, for all I dare say there is not in the city of
Baghdad a fisherman like me." Then with a Bismillah he cast his
net a third time, and presently drawing it ashore found therein
an ape scurvy and one-eyed, mangy, and limping, hending an ivory
rod in forehand. When Khalif saw this, he said, "This is indeed a
blessed opening! What art thou, O ape?" "Dost thou not know me?"
"No, by Allah, I have no knowledge of thee!" "I am thine ape!"
"What use is there in thee, O my ape?" "Every day I give thee
good-morrow, so Allah may not open to thee the door of daily
bread." "Thou failest not of this, O one-eye[FN#269] of ill-omen!
May Allah never bless thee! Needs must I pluck out thy sound eye
and cut off thy whole leg, so thou mayst become a blind cripple
and I be quit of thee. But what is the use of that rod thou
hendest in hand?" "O Khalif, I scare the fish therewith, so they
may not enter thy net." "Is it so?: then this very day will I
punish thee with a grievous punishment and devise thee all manner
torments and strip thy flesh from thy bones and be at rest from
thee, sorry bit of goods that thou art!" So saying, Khalif the
Fisherman unwound from his middle a strand of rope and binding
him to a tree by his side, said, "Lookee, O dog of an ape! I mean
to cast the net again and if aught come up therein, well and
good; but, if it come up empty, I will verily and assuredly make
an end of thee, with the cruellest tortures and be quit of thee,
thou stinking lot." So he cast the net and drawing it ashore,
found in it another ape and said, "Glory be to God the Great! I
was wont to pull naught but fish out of this Tigris, but now it
yieldeth nothing but apes." Then he looked at the second ape and
saw him fair of form and round of face with pendants of gold in
his ears and a blue waistcloth about his middle, and he was like
unto a lighted taper. So he asked him, "What art thou, thou also,
O ape?"; and he answered, saying, "O Khalif, I am the ape of Ab£
al-Sa' d t the Jew, the Caliph's Shroff. Every day, I give him
good-morrow, and he maketh a profit of ten gold pieces." Cried
the Fisherman, "By Allah, thou art a fine ape, not like this
ill-omened monkey o' mine!" So saying, he took a stick[FN#270]
and came down upon the sides of the ape, till he broke his ribs
and he jumped up and down. And the other ape, the handsome one,
answered him, saying, "O Khalif, what will it profit thee to beat
him, though thou belabour him till he die?" Khalif replied, "How
shall I do? Shall I let him wend his ways that he may scare me
the fish with his hang-dog face and give me good-even and
good-morrow every day, so Allah may not open to me the door of
daily bread? Nay, I will kill him and be quit of him and I will
take thee in his stead; so shalt thou give me good-morrow and I
shall gain ten golden dinars a day." Thereupon the comely ape
made answer, "I will tell thee a better way than that, and if
thou hearken to me, thou shalt be at rest and I will become thine
ape in lieu of him." Asked the Fisherman, "And what dost thou
counsel me?"; and the ape answered, saying, "Cast thy net and
thou shalt bring up a noble fish, never saw any its like, and I
will tell thee how thou shalt do with it." Replied Khalif,
"Lookee, thou too! An I throw my net and there come up therein a
third ape, be assured that I will cut the three of you into six
bits." And the second ape rejoined, "So be it, O Khalif. I agree
to this thy condition." Then Khalif spread the net and cast it
and drew it up, when behold, in it was a fine young
barbel[FN#271] with a round head, as it were a milking-pail,
which when he saw, his wits fled for joy and he said, "Glory be
to God! What is this noble creature? Were yonder apes in the
river, I had not brought up this fish." Quoth the seemly ape, "O
Khalif, an thou give ear to my rede, 'twill bring thee good
fortune"; and quoth the Fisherman, "May God damn him who would
gainsay thee henceforth!" Thereupon the ape said, "O Khalif, take
some grass and lay the fish thereon in the basket[FN#272] and
cover it with more grass and take also somewhat of basil[FN#273]
from the green grocer's and set it in the fish's mouth. Cover it
with a kerchief and push thee through the bazar of Baghdad.
Whoever bespeaketh thee of selling it, sell it not but fare on,
till thou come to the market street of the jewellers and
money-changers. Then count five shops on the right-hand side and
the sixth shop is that of Abu al-Sa'adat the Jew, the Caliph's
Shroff. When thou standest before him, he will say to thee, 'What
seekest thou?'; and do thou make answer, 'I am a fisherwight, I
threw my net in thy name and took this noble barbel, which I have
brought thee as a present.' If he give thee aught of silver, take
it not, be it little or mickle, for it will spoil that which thou
wouldst do, but say to him, 'I want of thee naught save one word,
that thou say to me, 'I sell thee my ape for thine ape and my
luck for thy luck.' An the Jew say this, give him the fish and I
shall become thine ape and this crippled, mangy and one-eyed ape
will be his ape." Khalif replied, "Well said, O ape," nor did he
cease faring Baghdad-wards and observing that which the ape had
said to him, till he came to the Jew's shop and saw the Shroff
seated, with eunuchs and pages about him, bidding and forbidding
and giving and taking. So he set down his basket, saying, "O
Sultan of the Jews, I am a fisher-wight and went forth to-day to
the Tigris and casting my net in thy name, cried, 'This is for
the luck of Abu al-Sa'adat;' and there came up to me this Banni
which I have brought thee by way of present." Then he lifted the
grass and discovered the fish to the Jew, who marvelled at its
make and said, "Extolled be the perfection of the Most Excellent
Creator!" Then he gave the fisherman a dinar, but he refused it
and he gave him two. This also he refused and the Jew stayed not
adding to his offer, till he made it ten dinars; but he still
refused and Abu al-Sa'adat said to him, "By Allah, thou art a
greedy one. Tell me what thou wouldst have, O Moslem!" Quoth
Khalif, "I would have of thee but a single word. [FN#274]" When
the Jew heard this , he changed colour and said, "Wouldst thou
oust me from my faith? Wend thy ways;" and Khalif said to him,
"By Allah, O Jew, naught mattereth an thou become a Moslem or a
Nazarene!" Asked the Jew, "Then what wouldst thou have me say?";
and the fisherman answered, "Say, I sell thee my ape for thy ape
and my luck for thy luck." The Jew laughed, deeming him little of
wit, and said by way of jest, "I sell thee my ape for thy ape and
my luck for thy luck. Bear witness against him, O merchants! By
Allah, O unhappy, thou art debarred from further claim on me!" So
Khalif turned back, blaming himself and saying, "There is no
Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the
Great! Alas that I did not take the gold!" and fared on blaming
himself in the matter of the money till he came to the Tigris,
but found not the two apes, whereupon he wept and slapped his
face and strewed dust on his head, saying, "But that the second
ape wheedled me and put a cheat on me, the one-eyed ape had not
escaped." And he gave not over wailing and weeping, till heat and
hunger grew sore on him: so he took the net, saying, "Come, let
us make a cast, trusting in Allah's blessing; belike I may catch
a cat-fish or a barbel which I may boil and eat." So he threw the
net and waiting till it had settled, drew it ashore and found it
full of fish, whereat he was consoled and rejoiced and busied
himself with unmeshing the fish and casting them on the earth.
Presently, up came a woman seeking fish and crying out, "Fish is
not to be found in the town." She caught sight of Khalif, and
said to him, "Wilt thou sell this fish, O Master?" Answered
Khalif, "I am going to turn it into clothes, 'tis all for sale,
even to my beard.[FN#275] Take what thou wilt." So she gave him a
dinar and he filled her basket. Then she went away and behold, up
came another servant, seeking a dinar's worth of fish; nor did
the folk cease till it was the hour of mid-afternoon prayer and
Khalif had sold ten golden dinars' worth of fish. Then, being
faint and famisht, he folded and shouldered his net and,
repairing to the market, bought himself a woollen gown, a calotte
with a plaited border and a honey-coloured turband for a dinar
receiving two dirhams by way of change, wherewith he purchased
fried cheese and a fat sheep's tail and honey and setting them in
the oilman's platter, ate till he was full and his ribs felt
cold[FN#276] from the mighty stuffing. Then he marched off to his
lodgings in the magazine, clad in the gown and the honey-coloured
turband and with the nine golden dinars in his mouth, rejoicing
in what he had never in his life seen. He entered and lay down,
but could not sleep for anxious thoughts and abode playing with
the money half the night. Then said he in himself, "Haply the
Caliph may hear that I have gold and say to Ja'afar, 'Go to
Khalif the Fisherman and borrow us some money of him.' If I give
it him, it will be no light matter to me, and if I give it not,
he will torment me; but torture is easier to me than the giving
up of the cash.[FN#277] However, I will arise and make trial of
myself if I have a skin proof against stick or not." So he put
off his clothes and taking a sailor's plaited whip, of an hundred
and sixty strands, ceased not beating himself, till his sides and
body were all bloody, crying out at every stroke he dealt himself
and saying "O Moslems! I am a poor man! O Moslems, I am a poor
man! O Moslems, whence should I have gold, whence should I have
coin?" till the neighbours, who dwelt with him in that place,
hearing him crying and saying, "Go to men of wealth and take of
them," thought that thieves were torturing him, to get money from
him, and that he was praying for aidance. Accordingly they
flocked to him each armed with some weapon and finding the door
of his lodging locked and hearing him roaring out for help,
deemed that the thieves had come down upon him from the
terrace-roof; so they fell upon the door and burst it open. Then
they entered and found him mother-naked and bareheaded with body
dripping blood, and altogether in a sad pickle; so they asked
him, "What is this case in which we find thee? Hast thou lost thy
wits and hath Jinn-madness betided thee this night?" And he
answered them, "Nay; but I have gold with me and I feared lest
the Caliph send to borrow of me and it were no light matter to
give him aught; yet, an I gave not to him 'tis only too sure that
he would put me to the torture; wherefore I arose to see if my
skin were stick-proof or not." When they heard these words they
said to him, "May Allah not assain thy body, unlucky madman that
thou art! Of a surety thou art fallen mad to-night! Lie down to
sleep, may Allah never bless thee! How many thousand dinars hast
thou, that the Caliph should come and borrow of thee?" He
replied, "By Allah, I have naught but nine dinars." And they all
said, "By Allah, he is not otherwise than passing rich!" Then
they left him wondering at his want of wit, and Khalif took his
cash and wrapped it in a rag, saying to himself, "Where shall I
hide all this gold? An I bury it, they will take it, and if I put
it out on deposit, they will deny that I did so, and if I carry
it on my head,[FN#278] they will snatch it, and if I tie it to my
sleeve, they will cut it away." Presently, he espied a little
breast-pocket in the gown and said, "By Allah, this is fine! 'Tis
under my throat and hard by my mouth: if any put out his hand to
hend it, I can come down on it with my mouth and hide it in my
throttle." So he set the rag containing the gold in the pocket
and lay down, but slept not that night for suspicion and trouble
and anxious thought. On the morrow, he fared forth of his lodging
on fishing intent and, betaking himself to the river, went down
into the water, up to his knees. Then he threw the net and shook
it with might and main; whereupon the purse fell down into the
stream. So he tore off gown and turband and plunged in after it,
saying, "There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah,
the Glorious, the Great!" Nor did he give over diving and
searching the stream-bed, till the day was half spent, but found
not the purse. Now one saw him from afar diving and plunging and
his gown and turband lying in the sun at a distance from him,
with no one by them; so he watched him, till he dived again when
he dashed at the clothes and made off with them. Presently,
Khalif came ashore and, missing his gown and turband, was
chagrined for their loss with passing cark and care and ascended
a mound, to look for some passer-by, of whom he might enquire
concerning them, but found none. Now the Caliph Harun al-Rashid
had gone a-hunting and chasing that day; and, returning at the
time of the noon heat, was oppressed thereby and thirsted; so he
looked for water from afar and seeing a naked man standing on the
mound said to Ja'afar, "Seest thou what I see?" Replied the
Wazir, "Yes, O Commander of the Faithful; I see a man standing on
a hillock." Al-Rashid asked, "What is he?"; and Ja'afar answered,
"Haply he is the guardian of a cucumber-plot." Quoth the Caliph,
"Perhaps he is a pious man[FN#279]; I would fain go to him,
alone, and desire of him his prayers; and abide ye where you
are." So he went up to Khalif and saluting him with the salam
said to him, "What art thou, O man?" Replied the fisherman, "Dost
thou not know me? I am Khalif the Fisherman;" and the Caliph
rejoined, "What? The Fisherman with the woollen gown and the
honey-coloured turband[FN#280]?" When Khalif heard him name the
clothes he had lost, he said in himself, "This is he who took my
duds: belike he did but jest with me." So he came down from the
knoll and said, "Can I not take a noontide nap[FN#281] but thou
must trick me this trick? I saw thee take my gear and knew that
thou wast joking with me." At this, laughter got the better of
the Caliph and he said; "What clothes hast thou lost? I know
nothing of that whereof thou speakest, O Khalif." Cried the
Fisherman, "By God the Great, except thou bring me back the gear,
I will smash thy ribs with this staff!" (For he always carried a
quarterstaff.) Quoth the Caliph, "By Allah, I have not seen the
things whereof thou speakest!"; and quoth Khalif "I will go with
thee and take note of thy dwelling-place and complain of thee to
the Chief of Police, so thou mayst not trick me this trick again.
By Allah, none took my gown and turband but thou, and except thou
give them back to me at once, I will throw thee off the back of
that she-ass thou ridest and come down on thy pate with this
quarterstaff, till thou canst not stir!" Thereupon he tugged at
the bridle of the mule so that she reared up on her hind legs and
the Caliph said to himself, "What calamity is this I have fallen
into with this madman?" Then he pulled off a gown he had on,
worth an hundred dinars, and said to Khalif, "Take this gown in
lieu of thine own." He took it and donning it saw it was too
long; so he cut it short at the knees and turbanded his head with
the cut-off piece; then said to the Caliph, "What art thou and
what is thy craft? But why ask? Thou art none other than a
trumpeter." Al-Rashid asked, "What showed thee that I was a
trumpeter by trade?"; and Khalif answered, "Thy big nostrils and
little mouth." Cried the Caliph, "Well guessed! Yes, I am of that
craft." Then said Khalif, "An thou wilt hearken to me, I will
teach thee the art of fishing: 'twill be better for thee than
trumpeting and thou wilt eat lawfully[FN#282]." Replied the
Caliph, "Teach it me so that I may see whether I am capable of
learning it." And Khalif said, "Come with me, O trumpeter." So
the Caliph followed him down to the river and took the net from
him, whilst he taught him how to throw it. Then he cast it and
drew it up, when, behold, it was heavy, and the fisherman said,
"O trumpeter, an the net be caught on one of the rocks, drag it
not too hard, or I twill break and by Allah, I will take thy
she-ass in payment thereof!" The Caliph laughed at his words and
drew up the net, little by little, till he brought it ashore and
found it full of fish; which when Khalif saw, his reason fled for
joy and presently he cried, "By Allah, O trumpeter, thy luck is
good in fishing! Never in my life will I part with thee! But now
I mean to send thee to the fish-bazar, where do thou enquire for
the shop of Humayd the fisherman and say to him, 'My master
Khalif saluteth thee and biddeth thee send him a pair of frails
and a knife, so he may bring thee more fish than yesterday.' Run
and return to me forthright!" The Caliph replied (and indeed he
was laughing), "On my head, O master!" and, mounting his mule,
rode back to Ja'afar, who said to. him, "Tell me what hath
betided thee." So the Caliph told him all that had passed between
Khalif the Fisherman and himself, from first to last, adding, "I
left him awaiting my return to him with the baskets and I am
resolved that he shall teach me how to scale fish and clean
them." Quoth Ja'afar, "And I will go with thee to sweep up the
scales and clean out the shop." And the affair abode thus, till
presently the Caliph cried, "O Ja'afar, I desire of thee that
thou despatch the young Mamelukes, saying to them, 'Whoso
bringeth me a fish from before yonder fisherman, I will give him
a dinar;' for I love to eat of my own fishing." Accordingly
Ja'afar repeated to the young white slaves what the Caliph had
said and directed them where to find the man. They came down upon
Khalif and snatched the fish from him; and when he saw them and
noted their goodliness, he doubted not but that they were of the
black-eyed Houris of Paradise: so he caught up a couple of fish
and ran into the river, saying, "O Allah mine, by the secret
virtue of these fish, forgive me!" Suddenly, up came the chief
eunuch, questing fish, but he found none; so seeing Khalif
ducking and rising in the water, with the two fish in his hands,
called out to him, saying, "O Khalif, what hast thou there?"
Replied the fisherman, "Two fish," and the eunuch said, "Give
them to me and take an hundred dinars for them." Now when Khalif
heard speak of an hundred dinars, he came up out of the water and
cried, "Hand over the hundred dinars." Said the eunuch, "Follow
me to the house of Al-Rashid and receive thy gold, O Khalif; and,
taking the fish, made off to the Palace of the Caliphate.
Meanwhile Khalif betook himself to Baghdad, clad as he was in the
Caliph's gown, which reached only to above his knees,[FN#283]
turbanded with the piece he had cut off therefrom and girt about
his middle with a rope, and he pushed through the centre of the
city. The folk fell a-laughing and marvelling at him and saying,
"Whence hadst thou that robe of honour?" But he went on, asking,
"Where is the house of Al-Rash d[FN#284]?;" and they answered,
"Say, 'The house of Al-Rashid';" and he rejoined, "'Tis all the
same," and fared on, till he came to the Palace of the Caliphate.
Now he was seen by the tailor, who had made the gown and who was
standing at the door, and when he noticed it upon the Fisherman,
he said to him, "For how many years hast thou had admission to
the palace?" Khalif replied "Ever since I was a little one;" and
the tailor asked, "Whence hadest thou that gown thou hast spoilt
on this wise?" Khalif answered, "I had it of my apprentice the
trumpeter." Then he went up to the door, where he found the Chief
Eunuch sitting with the two fishes by his side: and seeing him
sable-black of hue, said to him, "Wilt thou not bring the hundred
dinars, O uncle Tulip?" Quoth he, "On my head, O Khalif," when,
behold, out came Ja'afar from the presence of the Caliph and
seeing the fisherman talking with the Eunuch and saying to him,
"This is the reward of goodness, O nuncle Tulip," went in to
Al-Rashid and said to him, "O Commander of the Faithful, thy
master the Fisherman is with the Chief Eunuch, dunning him for an
hundred dinars." Cried the Caliph, "Bring him to me, O Ja'afar;"
and the Minister answered, "Hearing and obeying." So he went out
to the Fisherman and said to him, "O Khalif, thine apprentice the
trumpeter biddeth thee to him;" then he walked on, followed by
the other till they reached the presence-chamber, where he saw
the Caliph seated, with a canopy over his head. When he entered,
Al-Rashid wrote three scrolls and set them before him, and the
Fisherman said to him, "So thou hast given up trumpeting and
turned astrologer!" Quoth the Caliph to him, "Take thee a
scroll." Now in the first he had written, "Let him be given a
gold piece," in the second, "An hundred dinars," and in the
third, "Let him be given an hundred blows with a whip." So Khalif
put out his hand and by the decree of the Predestinator, it
lighted on the scroll wherein was written, "Let him receive an
hundred lashes," and Kings, whenas they ordain aught, go not back
therefrom. So they threw him prone on the ground and beat him an
hundred blows, whilst he wept and roared for succour, but none
succoured him, and said, "By Allah, this is a good joke O
trumpeter! I teach thee fishing and thou turnest astrologer and
drawest me an unlucky lot. Fie upon thee,[FN#285] in thee is
naught of good!" When the Caliph heard his speech, he fell
fainting in a fit of laughter and said, "O Khalif, no harm shall
betide thee: fear not. Give him an hundred gold pieces." So they
gave him an hundred dinars, and he went out, and ceased not
faring forth till he came to the trunk-market, where he found the
folk assembled in a ring about a broker, who was crying out and
saying, "At an hundred dinars, less one dinar! A locked chest!"
So he pressed on and pushed through the crowd and said to the
broker, "Mine for an hundred dinars!" The broker closed with him
and took his money, whereupon there was left him nor little nor
much. The porters disputed awhile about who should carry the
chest and presently all said, "By Allah, none shall carry this
chest but Zurayk!"[FN#286] And the folk said, "Blue-eyes hath the
best right to it." So Zurayk shouldered the chest, after the
goodliest fashion, and walked a-rear of Khalif. As they went
along, the Fisherman said in himself, "I have nothing left to
give the porter; how shall I rid myself of him? Now I will
traverse the main streets with him and lead him about, till he be
weary and set it down and leave it, when I will take it up and
carry it to my lodging." Accordingly, he went round about the
city with the porter from noontide to sundown, till the man began
to grumble and said, "O my lord, where is thy house?" Quoth
Khalif, "Yesterday I knew it, but to-day I have forgotten it."
And the porter said, "Give me my hire and take thy chest." But
Khalif said, "Go on at thy leisure, till I bethink me where my
house is," presently adding, "O Zurayk, I have no money with me.
'Tis all in my house and I have forgotten where it is." As they
were talking, there passed by them one who knew the Fisherman and
said to him, "O Khalif, what bringeth thee hither?" Quoth the
porter, "O uncle, where is Khalif's house?" and quoth he, "'Tis
in the ruined Khan in the Raw sin Quarter."[FN#287] Then said
Zurayk to Khalif, "Go to; would Heaven thou hadst never lived nor
been!" And the Fisherman trudged on, followed by the porter, till
they came to the place when the Hammal said, "O thou whose daily
bread Allah cut off in this world, have we not passed this place
a score of times? Hadst thou said to me, 'Tis in such a stead,
thou hadst spared me this great toil; but now give me my wage and
let me wend my way." Khalif replied "Thou shalt have silver, if
not gold. Stay here, till I bring thee the same." So he entered
his lodging and taking a mallet he had there, studded with forty
nails (wherewith an he smote a camel, he had made an end of it),
rushed upon the porter and raised his forearm to strike him
therewith; but Zurayk cried out at him, saying, "Hold thy hand! I
have no claim on thee," and fled. Now having got rid of the
Hammal, Khalif carried the chest into the Khan, whereupon the
neighbours came down and flocked about him, saying, "O Khalif,
whence hadst thou this robe and this chest?" Quoth he, "From my
apprentice Al-Rashid who gave them to me," and they said, "The
pimp is mad! Al-Rashid will assuredly hear of his talk and hang
him over the door of his lodging and hang all in the Khan on
account of the droll. This is a fine farce!" Then they helped him
to carry the chest into his lodging and it filled the whole
closet.[FN#288] Thus far concerning Khalif; but as for the
history of the chest, it was as follows: The Caliph had a Turkish
slave-girl, by name Kut al-Kul£b, whom he loved with love
exceeding and the Lady Zubaydah came to know of this from himself
and was passing jealous of her and secretly plotted mischief
against her. So, whilst the Commander of the Faithful was absent
a-sporting and a-hunting, she sent for Kut al-Kulub and, inviting
her to a banquet, set before her meat and wine, and she ate and
drank. Now the wine was drugged with Bhang; so she slept and
Zubaydah sent for her Chief Eunuch and putting her in a great
chest, locked it and gave it to him, saying, "Take this chest and
cast it into the river." Thereupon he took it up before him on a
he-mule and set out with it for the sea, but found it unfit to
carry; so, as he passed by the trunk-market, he saw the Shaykh of
the brokers and salesmen and said to him, "Wilt thou sell me this
chest, O uncle?" The broker replied, "Yes, we will do this much."
"But," said the Eunuch, "look thou sell it not except locked;"
and the other, "'Tis well; we will do that also."[FN#289] So he
set down the chest, and they cried it for sale, saying, "Who will
buy this chest for an hundred dinars?"; and behold, up came
Khalif the Fisherman and bought the chest after turning it over
right and left; and there passed between him and the porter that
which hath been before set out. Now as regards Khalif the
Fisherman; he lay down on the chest to sleep, and presently Kut
al-Kulub awoke from her Bhang and finding herself in the chest,
cried out and said, "Alas!" Whereupon Khalif sprang off the
chest-lid and cried out and said, "Ho, Moslems! Come to my help!
There are Ifrits in the chest." So the neighbours awoke from
sleep and said to him, "What mattereth thee, O madman?" Quoth he,
"The chest is full of Ifrits;" and quoth they, "Go to sleep; thou
hast troubled our rest this night may Allah not bless thee! Go in
and sleep, without madness." He ejaculated, "I cannot sleep;" but
they abused him and he went in and lay down once more. And
behold, Kut al-Kulub spoke and said, "Where am I?" Upon which
Khalif fled forth the closet and said, "O neighbours of the
hostelry, come to my aid!" Quoth they, "What hath befallen thee?
Thou troublest the neighbours' rest." "O folk, there be Ifrits in
the chest, moving and speaking." "Thou liest: what do they say?"
"They say, 'Where am I?'" "Would Heaven thou wert in Hell! Thou
disturbest the neighbours and hinderest them of sleep. Go to
sleep, would thou hadst never lived nor been!" So Khalif went in
fearful because he had no place wherein to sleep save upon the
chest-lid when lo! as he stood, with ears listening for speech,
Kut al-Kulub spake again and said, "I'm hungry." So in sore
affright he fled forth and cried out, "Ho neighbours! ho dwellers
in the Khan, come aid me!" Said they, "What is thy calamity
now?"[FN#290] And he answered, "The Ifrits in the chest say, 'We
are hungry.'" Quoth the neighbours one to other, "'Twould seem
Khalif is hungry; let us feed him and give him the supper-orts;
else he will not let us sleep to-night." So they brought him
bread and meat and broken victuals and radishes and gave him a
basket full of all kinds of things, saying, "Eat till thou be
full and go to sleep and talk not, else will we break thy ribs
and beat thee to death this very night." So he took the basket
with the provaunt and entered his lodging. Now it was a moonlight
night and the moon shone in full sheen upon the chest and lit up
the closet with its light, seeing this he sat down on his
purchase and fell to eating of the food with both hands.
Presently Kut al-Kulub spake again and said, "Open to me and have
mercy upon me, O Moslems!" So Khalif arose and taking a stone he
had by him, broke the chest open and behold, therein lay a young
lady as she were the sun's shining light with brow flower-white,
face moonbright, cheeks of rose-hue exquisite and speech sweeter
than sugar-bite, and in dress worth a thousand dinars and more
bedight. Seeing this his wits flew from his head for joy and he
said, "By Allah, thou art of the fair!" She asked him, "What art
thou, O fellow?" and he answered, "O my lady, I am Khalif the
Fisherman." Quoth she, "Who brought me hither?"; and quoth he, "I
bought thee, and thou art my slave-girl." Thereupon said she, "I
see on thee a robe of the raiment of the Caliph." So he told her
all that had betided him, from first to last, and how he had
bought the chest; wherefore she knew that the Lady Zubaydah had
played her false; and she ceased not talking with him till the
morning, when she said to him, "O Khalif, seek me from some one
inkcase and reed-pen and paper and bring them to me." So he found
with one of the neighbours what she sought and brought it to her,
whereupon she wrote a letter and folded it and gave it to him,
saying, "O Khalif, take this paper and carry it to the
jewel-market, where do thou enquire for the shop of Abu al-Hasan
the jeweller and give it to him." Answered the Fisherman, "O my
lady, this name is difficult to me; I cannot remember it." And
she rejoined, "Then ask for the shop of Ibn al-'Uk b."[FN#291]
Quoth he, "O my lady, what is an 'Ukab?"; and quoth she, "'Tis a
bird which folk carry on fist with eyes hooded." And he
exclaimed, "O my lady, I know it." Then he went forth from her
and fared on, repeating the name, lest it fade from his memory;
but, by the time he reached the jewel-market, he had forgotten
it. So he accosted one of the merchants and said to him, "Is
there any here named after a bird?" Replied the merchant, "Yes,
thou meanest Ibn al-Ukab." Khalif cried, "That's the man I want,"
and making his way to him, gave him the letter, which when he
read and knew the purport thereof, he fell to kissing it and
laying it on his head; for it is said that Abu al-Hasan was the
agent of the Lady Kut al-Kulub and her intendant over all her
property in lands and houses. Now she had written to him, saying,
"From Her Highness the Lady Kut al-Kulub to Sir Abu al-Hasan the
jeweller. The instant this letter reacheth thee, set apart for us
a saloon completely equipped with furniture and vessels and
negro-slaves and slave-girls and what not else is needful for our
residence and seemly, and take the bearer of the missive and
carry him to the bath. Then clothe him in costly apparel and do
with him thus and thus." So he said "Hearing and obeying," and
locking up his shop, took the Fisherman and bore him to the bath,
where he committed him to one of the bathmen, that he might serve
him, according to custom. Then he went forth to carry out the
Lady Kut al-Kulub's orders. As for Khalif, he concluded, of his
lack of wit and stupidity, that the bath was a prison and said to
the bathman, "What crime have I committed that ye should lay me
in limbo?" They laughed at him and made him sit on the side of
the tank, whilst the bathman took hold of his legs, that he might
shampoo them. Khalif thought he meant to wrestle with him and
said to himself, "This is a wrestling-place[FN#292] and I knew
naught of it." Then he arose and seizing the bathman's legs,
lifted him up and threw him on the ground and broke his ribs. The
man cried out for help, whereupon the other bathmen came in a
crowd and fell upon Khalif and overcoming him by dint of numbers,
delivered their comrade from his clutches and tunded him till he
came to himself. Then they knew that the Fisherman was a
simpleton and served him till Abu al-Hasan came back with a dress
of rich stuff and clad him therein; after which he brought him a
handsome she-mule, ready saddled, and taking him by the hand,
carried him forth of the bath and said to him, "Mount." Quoth he,
"How shall I mount? I fear lest she throw me and break my ribs
into my belly." Nor would he back the mule, save after much
travail and trouble, and they stinted not faring on, till they
came to the place which Abu al-Hasan had set apart for the Lady
Kut al-Kulub. Thereupon Khalif entered and found her sitting,
with slaves and eunuchs about her and the porter at the door,
staff in hand, who when he saw the Fisherman sprang up and
kissing his hand, went before him, till he brought him within the
saloon. Here the Fisherman saw what amazed his wit, and his eye
was dazzled by that which he beheld of riches past count and
slaves and servants, who kissed his hand and said, "May the bath
be a blessing to thee!"[FN#293] When he entered the saloon and
drew near unto Kut al-Kulub, she sprang up to him and taking him
by the hand, seated him on a high-mattrassed divan. Then she
brought him a vase of sherbet of sugar, mingled with rosewater
and willow-water, and he took it and drank it off and left not a
single drop. Moreover, he ran his finger round the inside of the
vessel[FN#294] and would have licked it, but she forbade him,
saying, "That is foul." Quoth he, "Silence; this is naught but
good honey;" and she laughed at him and set before him a tray of
meats, whereof he ate his sufficiency. Then they brought an ewer
and basin of gold, and he washed his right hand and abode in the
gladdest of life and the most honourable. Now hear what befel the
Commander of the Faithful. When he came back from his journey and
found not Kut al-Kulub, he questioned the Lady Zubaydah of her
and she said, "She is verily dead, may thy head live, O Prince of
True Believers!" But she had bidden dig a grave amiddlemost the
Palace and had built over it a mock tomb, for her knowledge of
the love the Caliph bore to Kut al-Kulub: so she said to him, "O
Commander of the Faithful, I made her a tomb amiddlemost the
Palace and buried her there." Then she donned black,[FN#295] a
mere sham and pure pretence; and feigned mourning a great while.
Now Kut al-Kulub knew that the Caliph was come back from his
hunting excursion; so she turned to Khalif and said to him,
"Arise; hie thee to the bath and come back." So he rose and went
to the Hammam-bath, and when he returned, she clad him in a dress
worth a thousand dinars and taught him manners and respectful
bearing to superiors. Then said she to him, "Go hence to the
Caliph and say to him, 'O Commander of the Faithful, 'tis my
desire that this night thou deign be my guest.'" So Khalif arose
and mounting his she-mule, rode, with pages and black slaves
before him, till he came to the Palace of the Caliphate. Quoth
the wise, "Dress up a stick and 'twill look chique."[FN#296] And
indeed his comeliness was manifest and his goodliness and the
folk marvelled at this. Presently, the Chief Eunuch saw him, the
same who had given him the hundred dinars that had been the cause
of his good fortune; so he went in to the Caliph and said to him,
"O Commander of the Faithful, Khalif the Fisherman is become a
King, and on him is a robe of honour worth a thousand dinars."
The Prince of True Believers bade admit him; so he entered and
said, "Peace be with thee, O Commander of the Faithful and
Vice-regent of the Lord of the three Worlds and Defender of the
folk of the Faith! Allah Almighty prolong thy days and honour thy
dominion and exalt thy degree to the highmost height!" The Caliph
looked at him and marvelled at him and how fortune had come to
him at unawares; then he said to him, "O Khalif, whence hadst
thou that robe which is upon thee?" He replied, "O Commander of
the Faithful, it cometh from my house." Quoth the Caliph, "Hast
thou then a house?"; and quoth Khalif, "Yea, verily! and thou, O
Commander of the Faithful, art my guest this day." Al-Rashid
said, "I alone, O Khalif, or I and those who are with me?"; and
he replied, "Thou and whom thou wilt." So Ja'afar turned to him
and said, "We will be thy guests this night;" whereupon he kissed
ground again and withdrawing, mounted his mule and rode off,
attended by his servants and suite of Mamelukes leaving the
Caliph marvelling at this and saying to Ja'afar, "Sawest thou
Khalif, with his mule and dress, his white slaves and his
dignity? But yesterday I knew him for a buffoon and a jester."
And they marvelled at this much. Then they mounted and rode, till
they drew near Khalif's house, when the Fisherman alighted and,
taking a bundle from one of his attendants, opened it and pulled
out therefrom a piece of tabby silk[FN#297] and spread it under
the hoofs of the Caliph's she-mule; then he brought out a piece
of velvet-Kimcob[FN#298] and a third of fine satin and did with
them likewise; and thus he spread well nigh twenty pieces of rich
stuffs, till Al-Rashid and his suite had reached the house; when
he came forward and said, "Bismillah,[FN#299] O Commander of the
Faithful!" Quoth Al-Rashid to Ja'afar, "I wonder to whom this
house may belong," and quoth he, "It belongeth to a man hight Ibn
al-Ukab, Syndic of the jewellers." So the Caliph dismounted and
entering, with his courtiers, saw a high-builded saloon, spacious
and boon, with couches on dais and carpets and divans strown in
place. So he went up to the couch that was set for himself on
four legs of ivory, plated with glittering gold and covered with
seven carpets. This pleased him and behold, up came Khalif, with
eunuchs and little white slaves, bearing all manner sherbets,
compounded with sugar and lemon and perfumed with rose and
willow-water and the purest musk. The Fisherman advanced and
drank and gave the Caliph to drink, and the cup-bearers came
forward and served the rest of the company with the sherbets.
Then Khalif brought a table spread with meats of various colours
and geese and fowls and other birds, saying, "In the name of
Allah!" So they ate their fill; after which he bade remove the
tables and kissing the ground three times before the Caliph
craved his royal leave to bring wine and music.[FN#300] He
granted him permission for this and turning to Ja'afar, said to
him, "As my head liveth, the house and that which is therein is
Khalif's; for that he is ruler over it and I am in admiration at
him, whence there came to him this passing prosperity and
exceeding felicity! However, this is no great matter to Him who
saith to a thing, 'Be!' and it becometh; what I most wonder at is
his understanding, how it hath increased, and whence he hath
gotten this loftiness and this lordliness; but, when Allah
willeth weal unto a man, He amendeth his intelligence before
bringing him to worldly affluence." As they were talking, behold,
up came Khalif, followed by cup-bearer lads like moons, belted
with zones of gold, who spread a cloth of siglaton[FN#301] and
set thereon flagons of chinaware and tall flasks of glass and
cups of crystal and bottles and hanaps[FN#302] of all colours;
and those flagons they filled with pure clear and old wine, whose
scent was as the fragrance of virgin musk and it was even as
saith the poet,

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