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The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8 by Richard F. Burton

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8




"Joy from stroke of string doth to me incline, * And sweet is
a-morning our early wine;
Whenas Love unveileth the amourist's heart, * And by rending the
veil he displays his sign,
With a draught so pure, so dear, so bright, * As in hand of
Moons[FN#338] the Sun's sheeny shine
O' nights it cometh with joy to 'rase * The hoar of sorrow by
boon divine."

Then ending her verse, she said to him, "O Masrur, recite us
somewhat of thy poetry and favour us with the fruit of thy
thought." So he recited these two couplets,

"We joy in full Moon who the wine bears round, * And in concert
of lutes that from gardens sound;
Where the dove moans at dawn and where bends the bough * To Morn,
and all pathways of pleasure are found."

When he had finished his recitation she said to him, "Make us
some verses on that which hath passed between us an thou be
occupied with love of me."--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of
day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-first Night,

She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when
Zayn al-Mawasif said to Masrur, "An thou be occupied with love of
me, make us some verses on that hath passed between us," "With
love and gladness," he replied and improvised the following
Kasidah[FN#339],

"Stand thou and hear what fell to me * For love of you gazelle to
dree!
Shot me a white doe with her shaft * O' glances wounding
woundily.
Love was my ruin, for was I * Straitened by longing ecstasy:
I loved and woo'd a young coquette * Girded by strong artillery,
Whom in a garth I first beheld * A form whose sight was symmetry.
I greeted her and when she deigned * Greeting return, 'Sal m,'
quoth she
'What be thy name?' said I, she said, * 'My name declares my
quality![FN#340]'
'Zayn al-Maw sif I am hight.' * Cried I, 'Oh deign I mercy see,'
'Such is the longing in my heart * No lover claimeth rivalry!'
Quoth she, 'With me an thou 'rt in love * And to enjoy me
pleadest plea,
I want of thee oh! muchel wealth; * Beyond all compt my wants o'
thee!
I want o' thee full many a robe * Of sendal, silk and damaskry;
A quarter quintal eke of musk: * These of one night shall pay the
fee.
Pearls, unions and carnelian[FN#341]-stones * The bestest best of
jewelry!'
Of fairest patience showed I show * In contrariety albe:
At last she favoured me one night * When rose the moon a crescent
wee;
An stranger blame me for her sake * I say, 'O blamers listen ye!
She showeth locks of goodly length * And black as blackest night
its blee;
While on her cheeks the roses glow * Like Laz -flame incendiary:
In every eyelash is a sword * And every glance hath archery:
Her liplets twain old wine contain, * And dews of fount-like
purity:
Her teeth resemble strings o' pearls, * Arrayed in line and fresh
from sea:
Her neck is like the neck of doe, * Pretty and carven perfectly:
Her bosom is a marble slab * Whence rise two breasts like towers
on lea:
And on her stomach shows a crease * Perfumed with rich perfumery;
Beneath which same there lurks a Thing * Limit of mine
expectancy.
A something rounded, cushioned-high * And plump, my lords, to
high degree:
To me 'tis likest royal throne * Whither my longings wander free;
There 'twixt two pillars man shall find * Benches of high-built
tracery.
It hath specific qualities * Drive sanest men t' insanity;
Full mouth it hath like mouth of neck * Or well begirt by stony
key;
Firm lips with camelry's compare * And shows it eye of cramoisie.
An draw thou nigh with doughty will * To do thy doing lustily,
Thou'll find it fain to face thy bout * And strong and fierce in
valiancy.
It bendeth backwards every brave * Shorn of his battle-bravery.
At times imberbe, but full of spunk * To battle with the
Paynimry.
'T will show thee liveliness galore * And perfect in its
raillery:
Zayn al-Mawasif it is like * Complete in charms and courtesy.
To her dear arms one night I came * And won meed given lawfully:
I passed with her that self-same night * (Best of my nights!) in
gladdest glee;
And when the morning rose, she rose * And crescent like her
visnomy:
Then swayed her supple form as sway * The lances lopt from limber
tree;
And when farewelling me she cried, * 'When shall such nights
return to me?'
Then I replied, 'O eyen-light, * When He vouchsafeth His
decree!'"[FN#342]

Zayn al-Mawasif was delighted with this Ode and the utmost
gladness gat hold of her. Then said she, "O Masrur day-dawn
draweth nigh and there is naught for it save to fly for fear of
scandal and spy!" He replied, "I hear and obey," and rising led
her to her lodging, after which he returned to his
quarters[FN#343] and passed the rest of the night pondering on
her charms. When the morning morrowed with its sheen and shone,
he made ready a splendid present and carried it to her and sat by
her side. And thus they abode awhile, in all solace of life and
its delight, till one day there came to Zayn al-Mawasif a letter
from her husband reporting to her his speedy return. Thereupon
she said in herself, "May Allah not keep him nor quicken him! If
he come hither, our life will be troubled: would Heaven I might
despair of him!" Presently entered Masrur and sat with her at
chat, as was his wont, whereupon she said to him, "O Masrur, I
have received a missive from my mate, announcing his speedy
return from his wayfaring. What is to be done, since neither of
us without other can live?" He replied, "I know not; but thou art
better able to judge, being acquainted with the ways of thy man,
more by token that thou art one of the sharpest-witted of women
and past mistress of devices such as devise that whereof fail the
wise." Quoth she, "He is a hard man and jealous of his household:
but, when he shall come home and thou hearest of his coming, do
thou repair to him and salute him and sit down by his side,
saying, 'O my brother, I am a druggist.' Then buy of him somewhat
of drugs and spices of sorts and call upon him frequently and
prolong thy talks with him and gainsay him not in whatsoever he
shall bid thee; so haply that I would contrive may betide, as it
were by chance." "I hear and I obey," quoth Masrur and fared
forth from her, with heart a-fire for love. When her husband came
home, she rejoiced in meeting him and after saluting him bade him
welcome; but he looked in her face and seeing it pale and sallow
(for she bad washed it with saffron, using one of women's arts),
asked her of her case. She answered that she had been sick, she
and her women, from the time of his wayfaring, adding, "Verily,
our hearts have been engrossed with thoughts of thee because of
the length of thine absence." And she went on to complain to him
of the misery of separation and to pour forth copious tears,
saying, "Hadst thou but a companion with thee, my heart had not
borne all this cark and care for thee. So, Allah upon thee, O my
lord, travel not again without a comrade and cut me not off from
news of thee, that my heart and mind may be at rest concerning
thee!"--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say
her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-second Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Zayn
al-Mawasif said to her mate, "Travel not without comrade and cut
me not off from news of thee, that my heart and mind may be at
rest concerning thee," he replied, "With love and gladness! By
Allah thy bede is good indeed and right is thy rede! By thy life,
it shall be as thou dost heed." Then he unpacked some of his
stock-in-trade and carrying the goods to his shop, opened it and
sat down to sell in the Soko.[FN#344] No sooner had he taken his
place than lo and behold! up came Masrur and saluting him, sat
down by his side and began talking and talked with him awhile.
Then he pulled out a purse and taking forth gold, handed it to
Zayn al-Mawasif's man and said, "Give me the worth of these
dinars in drugs and spices of sorts, that I may sell them in my
shop." The Jew replied, "I hear and I obey," and gave him what he
sought. And Masrur continued to pay him frequent visits till, one
day, the merchant said to him, "I have a mind to take me a man to
partner in trade." Quoth Masrur, "And I also, desire to take a
partner; for my father was a merchant in the land of Al-Yaman and
left me great store of money and I fear lest it fare from me."
Quoth the Jew, turning towards him, "Wilt thou be my partner, and
I will be thy partner and a true friend and comrade to thee at
home and abroad; and I will teach thee selling and buying, giving
and taking?" And Masrur rejoined, "With all my heart." So the
merchant carried him to his place and seated him in the
vestibule, whilst he went in to his wife and said to her, "I have
provided me with a partner and have bidden him hither as a guest;
so do thou get us ready good guest-cheer." Whenas she heard this,
she rejoiced divining that it was Masrur, and made ready a
magnificent banquet,[FN#345] of her delight in the success of her
device. Then, when the guest drew nigh, her husband said to her,
"Come out with me to him and bid him welcome and say, 'Thou
gladdenest us[FN#346]!'" But Zayn al-Mawasif made a show of
anger, crying, "Wilt thou have me display myself before a strange
man? I take refuge with Allah! Though thou cut me to bits, I will
not appear before him!" Rejoined he, "Why shouldst thou be
abashed at him, seeing that he is a Nazarene and we are Jews and,
to boot, we are become chums, he and I?" Quoth she, "I am not
minded to present myself before a strange man, on whom I have
never once set eyes and whom I know not any wise." Her husband
thought she spoke sooth and ceased not to importune her, till she
rose and veiling herself, took the food and went out to Masrur
and welcomed him; whereupon he bowed his head groundwards, as he
were ashamed, and the Jew, seeing such dejection said in himself,
"Doubtless, this man is a devotee." They ate their fill and the
table being removed, wine was set on. As for Zayn al-Mawasif, she
sat over against Masrur and gazed on him and he gazed on her till
ended day, when he went home, with a heart to fire a prey. But
the Jew abode pondering the grace and the comeliness of him; and,
as soon as it was night, his wife according to custom served him
with supper and they seated themselves before it. Now he had a
mockingbird which was wont, whenever he sat down to meat, to come
and eat with him and hover over his head; but in his absence the
fowl was grown familiar with Masrur and used to flutter about him
as he sat at meals. Now when Masrur disappeared and the master
returned, it knew him not and would not draw near him, and this
made him thoughtful concerning his case and the fowl's
withdrawing from him. As for Zayn al-Mawasif, she could not sleep
with her heart thinking of Masrur, and thus it was with her a
second and even a third night, till the Jew became aware of her
condition and, watching her while she sat distraught, began to
suspect somewhat wrong. On the fourth night, he awoke in the
middle thereof and heard his wife babbling in her sleep and
naming Masrur, what while she lay on her husband's bosom,
wherefore he misdoubted her; but he dissembled his suspicions and
when morning morrowed he repaired to his shop and sat therein.
Presently, up came Masrur and saluted him. He returned his salam
and said to him, "Welcome, O my brother!" adding anon, "I have
wished for thee;" and he sat talking with him for an hour or so,
after which he said to him, "Rise, O my brother, and hie with me
to my house, that we may enter into the pact of
brotherhood."[FN#347] Replied Masrur, "With joy and goodly gree,"
and they repaired to the Jew's house, where the master went in
and told his wife of Masrur's visit, for the purpose of
conditioning their partnership, and said, "Make us ready a goodly
entertainment, and needs must thou be present and witness our
brotherhood." But she replied, "Allah upon thee, cause me not
show myself to this strange man, for I have no mind to company
with him." So he held his peace and forbore to press her and bade
the waiting-women bring food and drink. Then he called the
mocking-bird but it knew not its lord and settled upon Masrur's
lap; and the Jew said to him, "O my master, what is thy name?" He
answered, "My name is Masrur;" whereupon the Jew remembered that
this was the name which his wife had repeated all night long in
her sleep. Presently, he raised his head and saw her making
signs[FN#348] with her forefingers to Masrur and motioning to him
with her eyes, wherefore he knew that he had been completely
cozened and cuckolded and said, "O my lord, excuse me awhile,
till I fetch my kinsmen, so they may be present at our swearing
brotherhood." Quoth Masrur, "Do what seemeth good to thee;"
whereupon the Jew went forth the house and returning privily by a
back way.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-third Night,

She pursued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Zayn
al-Mawasif's husband said to Masrur, "Excuse me awhile, till I
fetch my cousins to witness the brother-bond between me and
thee." Then he went forth and, privily returning behind the
sitting-room, there took his station hard by a window which gave
upon the saloon and whence he could watch them without their
seeing him. Suddenly quoth Zayn al-Mawasif to her maid Sukub,
"Whither is thy master gone?"; and quoth she, "He is gone without
the house." Cried the mistress, "Lock the door and bar it with
iron and open thou not till he knock, after thou hast told me."
Answered Sukub, "So shall it be done." Then, while her husband
watched them, she rose and filling a cup with wine, flavoured
with powdered musk and rose-water, went close to Masrur, who
sprang up to meet her, saying, "By Allah, the water of thy mouth
is sweeter than this wine!" "Here it is for thee," said she and
filling her mouth with wine, gave him to drink thereof, whilst he
gave her the like to drink; after which she sprinkled him with
rose-water from front to foot, till the perfume scented the whole
place. All this while, the Jew was looking on and marvelling at
the stress of love that was between them and his heart was filled
with fury for what he saw and he was not only wroth, but jealous
with exceeding jealousy. Then he went out again and coming to the
door found it locked and knocked a loud knock of the excess of
his rage; whereupon quoth Sukub, "O my lady, here is my master;"
and quoth Zayn al-Mawasif, "Open to him; would that Allah had not
brought him back in safety!" So Sukub went and opened the door to
the Jew, who said to her, "What ailed thee to lock the door?"
Quoth she, "It hath never ceased to be locked thus during thine
absence; nor hath it been opened night nor day;" and cried he,
"Thou hast done well; this pleaseth me." Then he went in to
Masrur, laughing and dissembling his chagrin, and said to him, "O
Masrur, let us put off the conclusion of our pact of brotherhood
this day and defer it to another." Replied Masrur, "As thou
wilt," and hied him home, leaving the Jew pondering his case and
knowing not what to do; for his heart was sore troubled and he
said in himself, "Even the mocking-bird disowneth me and the
slave-girls shut the door in my face and favour another." And of
his exceeding chagrin, he fell to reciting these couplets,

"Masrur joys life made fair by all delight of days, * Fulfilled
of boons, while mine the sorest grief displays.
The Days have falsed me in the breast of her I love * And in my
heart are fires which all-consuming blaze:
Yea, Time was clear for thee, but now 'tis past and gone * While
yet her lovely charms thy wit and senses daze:
Espied these eyes of mine her gifts of loveliness: * Oh, hard my
case and sore my woe on spirit weighs!
I saw the maiden of the tribe deal rich old wine * Of lips like
Salsabil to friend my love betrays:
E'en so, O mocking-bird, thou dost betray my breast * And to a
rival teachest Love and lover-ways:
Strange things indeed and wondrous saw these eyne of me * Which
were they sleepdrowned still from Sleep's abyss would raise:
I see my best belovŠd hath forsworn my love * And eke like my
mocking-bird fro' me a-startled strays.
By truth of Allah, Lord of Worlds who, whatso wills * His Fate,
for creatures works and none His hest gainsays,
Forsure I'll deal to that ungodly wight his due * Who but to sate
his wicked will her heart withdrew!"

When Zayn al-Mawasif heard this, her side-muscles trembled and
quoth she to her handmaid, "Heardest thou those lines?";
whereupon quoth the girl, "I never heard him in my born days
recite the like of these verses; but let him say what he will."
Then having assured himself of the truth of his suspicions, the
Jew began to sell all his property, saying to himself, "Unless I
part them by removing her from her mother land the twain will not
turn back from this that they are engaged in, no, never!" So,
when he had converted all his possessions into coin, he forged a
letter and read it to Zayn al-Mawasif, declaring that it had come
from his kinsmen, who invited him to visit them, him and his
wife. She asked, "How long shall we tarry with them?" and he
answered, "Twelve days." Accordingly she consented to this and
said, "Shall I take any of my maids with me?"; whereto he
replied, "Take Hubub and Sukub and leave Khutub here." Then he
made ready a handsome camel-litter[FN#349] for his spouse and her
women and prepared to set out with them; whilst she sent to her
leman, telling him what had betided her and saying, "O Masrur, an
the trysting-time[FN#350] that is between us pass and I come not
back, know that he hath cheated and cozened us and planned a plot
to separate us each from other, so forget thou not the plighted
faith betwixt us, for I fear that he hath found out our love and
I dread his craft and perfidy." Then, whilst her man was busy
about his march she fell a-weeping and lamenting and no peace was
left her, night or day. Her husband saw this, but took no note
thereof; and when she saw there was scant help for it, she
gathered together her clothes and gear and deposited them with
her sister, telling her what had befallen her. Then she
farewelled her and going out from her, drowned in tears, returned
to her own house, where she found her husband had brought the
camels and was busy loading them, having set apart the handsomest
dromedary for her riding, and when she saw this and knew that
needs must she be separated from Masrur, she waxt clean
distraught. Presently it chanced that the Jew went out on some
business of his; so she fared forth to the first or outer door
and wrote thereon these couplets,--And Shahrazad perceived the
dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-fourth Night,

She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when
Zayn al-Mawasif saw her spouse summon the camels and knew that
the march needs must be, she waxt clean distraught. Presently it
chanced that the Jew went out on some business so she fared forth
to the first door and wrote thereon these couplets,

"Bear our salams, O Dove, from this our stead * From lover to
beloved far severŠd!
Bid him fro' me ne'er cease to yearn and mourn * O'er happy days
and hours for ever fled:
Eke I in grief shall ever mourn and yearn, * Dwelling on days of
love and lustihead;
Long was our joyance, seeming aye to last, * When night and
morning to reunion led;
Till croaked the Raven[FN#351] of the Wold one day * His cursed
croak and did our union dead.
We sped and left the homestead dark and void * Its gates
unpeopled and its dwellers sped."

Then she went to the second door and wrote thereon these
couplets,

"O who passest this doorway, by Allah, see * The charms of my
fere in the glooms and make plea
For me, saying, 'I think of the Past and weep * Yet boot me no
tears flowing full and free.'
Say, 'An fail thee patience for what befel * Scatter earth and
dust on the head of thee!
And o'er travel lands East and West, and deem * God sufficeth thy
case, so bear patiently!'"

Then she went to the third door and wept sore and thereon wrote
these couplets,

"Fare softly, Masr£r! an her sanctuary * Thou seek, and read what
a-door writ she.
Ne'er forget Love-plight, if true man; how oft * Hast savoured
Nights' bitter and sweetest gree!
O Masr£r! forget not her neighbourhood * For wi' thee must her
gladness and joyance flee!
But beweep those dearest united days * When thou camest veilŠd in
secresy;
Wend for sake of us over farthest wone; * Span the wold for us,
for us dive in sea;
Allah bless the past days! Ah, how glad they were * When in
Gardens of Fancy the flowers pluckt we!
The nights of Union from us are fled * And parting-glooms dim
their radiancy;
Ah! had this lasted as hopŠd we, but * He left only our breasts
and the rosery.
Will revolving days on Re-union dawn? * Then our vow to the Lord
shall accomplisht be.
Learn thou our lots are in hand of Him * Who on lines of
skull[FN#352] writes our destiny!"

Then she wept with sore weeping and returned to the house,
wailing and remembering what had passed and saying, "Glory be to
God who hath decreed to us this!" And her affliction redoubled
for severance from her beloved and her departure from her
mother-land, and she recited these couplets,

"Allah's peace on thee, House of Vacancy! * Ceased in thee all
our joys, all our jubilee.
O thou Dove of the homestead, ne'er cease to bemoan * Whose moons
and full moons[FN#353] sorest severance dree:
Masr£r, fare softly and mourn our loss; * Loving thee our eyes
lose their brilliancy:
Would thy sight had seen, on our marching day, * Tears shed by a
heart in Hell's flagrancy!
Forget not the plight in the garth-shade pledged * When we sat
enveil‚d in privacy:"

Then she presented herself before her husband, who lifted her
into the litter he had let make for her; and, when she found
herself on the camel's back, she recited these couplets,

"The Lord, empty House! to thee peace decree * Long we bore
therein growth of misery:
Would my life-thread were shorn in that safe abode * And o' night
I had died in mine ecstasy!
Home-sickness I mourn, and my strangerhood * Irks my soul, nor
the riddle of future I ree.
Would I wot shall I ever that house resee * And find it, as erst,
home of joy and glee!"

Said her husband, "O Zayn al-Mawasif grieve not for thy departure
from thy dwelling; for thou shalt return to it ere long
Inshallah!" And he went on to comfort her heart and soothe her
sorrow. Then all set out and fared on till they came without the
town and struck into the high road, whereupon she knew that
separation was certain and this was very grievous to her. And
while such things happened Masrur sat in his quarters, pondering
his case and that of his mistress, and his heart forewarned him
of severance. So he rose without stay and delay and repairing to
her house, found the outer door padlocked and read the couplets
she had written thereon; upon which he fell down in a fainting
fit. When he came to himself, he opened the first door and
entering, read what was written upon the second and likewise upon
the third doors; wherefore passion and love-longing and
distraction grew on him. So he went forth and hastened in her
track, till he came up with the light caravan[FN#354] and found
her at the rear, whilst her husband rode in the van, because of
his merchandise. When he saw her, he clung to the litter, weeping
and wailing for the anguish of parting, and recited these
couplets,

"Would I wot for what crime shot and pierced are we * Thro' the
days with Estrangement's archery!
O my heart's desire, to thy door I came * One day, when high waxt
mine expectancy:
But I found the home waste as the wold and void * And I 'plained
my pine and groaned wretchedly:
And I asked the walls of my friends who fared * With my heart in
pawn and in pendency;
And they said, 'All marched from the camp and left *An ambushed
sorrow on hill and lea;'
And a writ on the walls did they write, as write * Folk who keep
their faith while the Worlds are three."

Now when Zayn al-Mawasif heard these lines, she knew that it was
Masrur.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-fifth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Zayn
al-Mawasif heard these lines she knew that it was Masrur and
wept, she and her handmaids, and said to him, "O Masrur, I
conjure thee by Allah, turn back, lest my husband see us twain
together!" At her words he swooned away; and when he revived,
they took leave each of other and he recited the following
couplets,

Scottish book of the year goes to Kieron Smith, Boy by James Kelman

The barrister Constance Briscoe has won the libel case brought against her by her mother, Carmen Briscoe-Mitchell, over her bestselling misery memoir Ugly, in which she accused Briscoe-Mitchell of childhood cruelty and neglect.

Briscoe-Mitchell claimed the allegations were "a piece of fiction", and sued Briscoe and her publishers Hodder & Stoughton for libel.

A 10-day hearing at the high court in London concluded earlier today with a unanimous verdict from the jury after more than a day's deliberation. Speaking outside the court, Briscoe, a part-time judge, said she was "very happy" with the verdict.

"It is sad that my mother still feels the need to pursue me. Now I just want to get on with my career," she said. "I can quite understand why my family went into collective denial, but whilst child abuse may be committed behind closed doors, it should never be swept under the carpet."

The hearing saw Briscoe tell Mr Justice Tugendhat and a jury how her mother beat her with a stick for wetting the bed, called her a "dirty little whore" and drove her to attempt suicide by drinking bleach.

Briscoe's account of her upbringing was published in 2006 and has sold more than 400,000 copies in the UK.

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The royal family doesn't need a poet

The power of Jane Austen never ceases to amaze: the myriad film and TV adaptations, the biopics, the spin-off self-help books, the novels about Austen book clubs and Austen obsessives and even, next spring, the publication of a book about "how Jane Austen conquered the world" (Jane's Fame, by Clare Harman). And now comes the just-too-weird story that deceased fans of Jane Austen have been banned from having their ashes scattered in her garden. In a letter to the Jane Austen Society, Louise West, the collections manager of Jane Austen's House Museum, wrote: "While we understand many admirers of Jane Austen would love to have ashes laid here, it is something we do not allow. It is distressing for visitors to see mounds of human ash, particularly so for our gardener. Also, it is of no benefit to the garden!" (Or is it? Surely a small quantity of fresh ashes judiciously placed beneath a hydrangea bush is just the ticket?)

Anyway, leaving aside the Gardeners' Question Time minutiae, what on earth is going on here? I like an Austen novel as much as the next person – I probably reread my way through the complete works every couple of years – but I am baffled as to why one would want to be laid to rest among the flowerbeds of Chawton. The only explanation is the currently unstoppable power of the Austen cult, fuelled by Colin Firth in a wet blouse, by Andrew Davies's adaptations, and by Hollywood. I'm all for enjoying books, but the cult of Austen has reached ridiculous proportions. In a post-feminist world that should know better, she seems to be adored as the comforting provider of romantic, happy-endings nonsense instead of the sharp and acerbic social satirist she deserves to be seen as.

(Does anyone actually believe her, by the way, when she foretells a happy marriage for Darcey and Elizabeth? I fear a woman as interesting as Elizabeth would be sorely disappointed with this standard-issue British Repressed Public-school Man - hopeless emotionally, and probably hopeless in bed.)

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