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The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8 by Richard F. Burton

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8

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"The Caravan-chief calleth loud o' night * Ere the Breeze bear
his cry in the morninglight:
They girded their loads and prepared to fare, * And hurried while
murmured the leader-wight.
They scent the scene on its every side, * As their march through
the valley they expedite.
After winning my heart by their love they went * O' morn when
their track could deceive my sight.
O my neighbour fair, I reckt ne'er to part, * Or the ground
bedewed with my tears to sight!
Woe betide my heart, now hath Severance hand * To heart and
vitals dealt bane and blight."

Then he clung to the litter, weeping and wailing, whilst she
besought him to turn back ere morn for fear of scorn. So he came
up to her Haudaj and farewelling her a second time, fell down in
a swoon. He lay an hour or so without life, and when he revived
he found the caravan had fared forth of sight. So he turned in
the direction of their wayfare and scenting the breeze which blew
from their quarter, chanted these improvised lines,

"No breeze of Union to the lover blows * But moan he maketh burnt
with fiery woes:
The Zephyr fans him at the dawn o' day; * But when he wakes the
horizon lonely shows:
On bed of sickness strewn in pain he lies, * And weeps he bloody
tears in burning throes,
For the fair neighbour with my heart they bore * 'Mid travellers
urging beasts with cries and blows.
By Allah from their stead no Zephyr blew * But sniffed I as the
wight on eyeballs goes;[FN#355]
And snuff the sweetest South as musk it breathes * And on the
longing lover scent bestows."

Then Masrur returned, mad with love-longing, to her house, and
finding it lone from end to end[FN#356] and forlorn of friend,
wept till he wet his clothes; after which he swooned away and his
soul was like to leave his body. When he revived, he recited
these two couplets,

"O Spring-camp have ruth on mine overthrowing * My abjection, my
leanness, my tears aye flowing,
Waft the scented powder[FN#357] of breezes they breathe * In hope
it cure heart of a grief e'er growing."

Then he returned to his own lodging confounded and tearful-eyed,
and abode there for the space of ten days. Such was his case; but
as regards the Jew, he journeyed on with Zayn al-Mawasif half a
score days, at the end of which he halted at a certain city and
she, being by that time assured that her husband had played her
false, wrote to Masrur a letter and gave it to Hubub, saying,
"Send this to Masrur, so he may know how foully and fully we have
been tricked and how the Jew hath cheated us." So Hubub took it
and despatched it to Masrur, and when it reached, its news was
grievous to him and he wept till he watered the ground. Then he
wrote a reply and sent it to his mistress, subscribing it with
these two couplets,

"Where is the way to Consolation's door * How shall console him
flames burn evermore?
How pleasant were the days of yore all gone: * Would we had
somewhat of those days of yore!"

When the missive reached Zayn al-Mawasif, she read it and again
gave it to her handmaid Hubub, saying to her, "Keep it secret!"
However, the husband came to know of their correspondence and
removed with her and her two women to another city, at a distance
of twenty days' march. Thus it befel Zayn al-Mawasif; but as
regards Masrur, sleep was not sweet to him nor was peace peaceful
to him or patience left to him, and he ceased not to be thus
till, one night, his eyes closed for weariness and he dreamt that
he saw Zayn al-Mawasif come to him in the garden and embrace him;
but presently he awoke and found her not: whereupon his reason
fled and his wits wandered and his eyes ran over with tears;
love-longing to the utterest gat hold of his heart and he recited
these couplets,

"Peace be to her, who visits me in sleeping phantasy * Stirring
desire and growing love to uttermost degree:
Verily from that dream I rose with passion maddenŠd * For sight
of fairest phantom come in peace to visit me:
Say me, can dreams declare the truth anent the maid I love, * And
quench the fires of thirst and heal my love-sick malady?
Anon to me she is liberal and she strains me to her breast; *
Anon she soothes mine anxious heart with sweetest
pleasantry:
From off her dark-red damask lips the dew I wont to sip * The
fine old wine that seemed to reek of musk's perfumery.
I wondered at the wondrous things between us done in dreams, *
And won my wish and all my will of things I hoped to see;
And from that dreamery I rose, yet ne'er could hope to find *
Trace of my phantom save my pain and fiery misery:
And when I looked on her a-morn, 'twas as a lover mad * And every
eve was drunken yet no wine brought jollity.
O breathings of the northern breeze, by Allah fro' me bear *
Them-wards the greetings of my love and best salams that be:
Say them, 'The wight with whom ye made that plight of fealty *
Time with his changes made him drain Death's cup and slain
is he!'"

Then he went out and ceased not to weep till he came to her house
and looking on it, saw it empty and void. Presently, it seemed to
him he beheld her form before him, whereupon fires flamed in him
and his griefs redoubled and he fell down aswoon;--And Shahrazad
perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-sixth Night,

She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when
Masrur saw the vision of Zayn al-Mawasif and felt her embrace, he
joyed with passing joy. As soon as he awoke he sought her house,
but finding it empty and void he fell down a-swoon; and when he
came to himself, he recited these couplets,

"Fro' them inhale I scent of Ottar and of B n; * So fare with
heart which ecstasies of love unman:
I'd heal thy longings (love-sick lover!) by return * To site of
beauty void sans friend or mate to scan:
But still it sickeneth me with parting's ban and bane * Minding
mine olden plight with friend and partisan."

When he had made an end of these verses, he heard a raven croak
beside the house and wept, saying, "Glory be to God! The raven
croaketh not save over a ruined homestead." Then he moaned and
groaned and recited these couplets,

"What ails the Raven that he croaks my lover's house hard by, *
And in my vitals lights a fire that flameth fierce and high?
For times now past and gone I spent in joyance of their love *
With love my heart hath gone to waste and I sore pain aby:
I die of longing love and lowe still in my liver raging * And
wrote to her but none there is who with the writ may hie:
Ah well-away for wasted frame! Hath farŠd forth my friend * And
if she will o' nights return Oh would that thing wot I!
Then, Ho thou Breeze of East, and thou by morn e'er visit her; *
Greet her from me and stand where doth her tribe encampŠd
lie!"

Now Zayn al-Mawasif had a sister, by name Nasim--the Zephyr--who
stood espying him from a high place; and when she saw him in this
plight, she wept and sighed and recited these couplets,

"How oft bewailing the place shall be this coming and going, *
While the House bemoaneth its builder with tear-flood ever
a-flowing?
Here was bestest joy ere fared my friend with the caravan hieing
* And its dwellers and brightest-suns[FN#358] ne'er ceased
in its walls a-glowing:
Where be those fullest moons that here were always arising? *
Bedimmed them the Shafts of Days their charms of spirit
unknowing:
Leave then what is past of the Fair thou wast ever with love
espying * And look; for haply the days may restore them
without foreshowing:
For hadst thou not been, its dwellers had never departed flying *
Nor haddest thou seen the Crow with ill-omened croak
a-crying."

Masrur wept sore hearing these verses and apprehending their
significance. Now Nasim knew that which was between him and her
sister of love and longing, ecstasy and passion; so she said to
him, "Allah upon thee, O Masrur, away from this house, lest any
see thee and deem thou comest on my account! Indeed thou hast
caused my sister quit it and now thou wouldst drive me also away.
Thou knowest that, but for thee, the house would not now be void
of its dwellers: so be consoled for her loss and leave her: what
is past is past." When he heard this, he wept bitterly and said
to her, "O Nasim, if I could, I should fly for longing after her;
so how can I be comforted for her?" Quoth she, "Thou hast no
device save patience;" and quoth he, "I beseech thee, for Allah's
sake, write me a writ to her, as from thyself, and get me an
answer from her, to comfort my heart and quench the fire in my
vitals." She replied, "With love and gladness," and took inkcase
and paper, whilst Masrur began to set out to her the violence of
his longing and what tortures he suffered for the anguish of
severance, saying, "This letter is from the lover despairing and
sorrowful * the bereaved, the woeful * with whom no peace can
stay * nor by night nor by day * but he weepeth copious tears
alway. * Indeed, tears his eyelids have ulcerated and his sorrows
have kindled in his liver a fire unsated. His lamentation is
lengthened and restlessness is strengthened and he is as he were
a bird unmated * While for sudden death he awaiteth * Alas, my
desolation for the loss of thee * and alas, my yearning
affliction for the companionship of thee! * Indeed, emaciation
hath wasted my frame * and my tears a torrent became * mountains
and plains are straitened upon me for grame * and of the excess
of my distress, I go saying,

"Still cleaves to this homestead mine ecstasy, * And redoubled
pine for its dwellers I dree;
And I send to your quarters the tale of my love * And the cup of
your love gave the Cup-boy to me.
And for faring of you and your farness from home * My wounded
lids are from tears ne'er free:
O thou leader of litters, turn back with my love * For my heart
redoubleth its ardency:
Greet my love and say him that naught except * Those brown-red
lips deals me remedy:
They bore him away and our union rent * And my vitals with
Severance-shaft shot he:
My love, my lowe and my longing to him * Convey, for of parting
no cure I see:
I swear an oath by your love that I * Will keep pact and covenant
faithfully,
To none I'll incline or forget your love * How shall love-sick
lover forgetful be?
So with you be the peace and my greeting fair * In letters that
perfume of musk-pod bear."

Her sister Nasim admired his eloquence of tongue and the
goodliness of his speech and the elegance of the verses he sang,
and was moved to ruth for him. So she sealed the letter with
virgin musk and incensed it with Nadd-scent and ambergris, after
which she committed it to a certain of the merchants saying,
"Deliver it not to any save to Zayn al-Mawasif or to her handmaid
Hubub." Now when the letter reached her sister, she knew it for
Masrur's dictation and recognised himself in the grace of its
expression. So she kissed it and laid it on her eyes, whilst the
tears streamed from her lids and she gave not over weeping, till
she fainted. As soon as she came to herself, she called for
pencase and paper and wrote him the following answer; complaining
the while of her desire and love-longing and ecstasy and what was
hers to endure of pining for her lover and yearning to him and
the passion she had conceived for him.--And Shahrazad perceived
the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-seventh Night,

She pursued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Zayn
al-Mawasif wrote the following reply to Masrur's missive: "This
letter to my lord and master I indite * the king of my heart and
my secret sprite * Indeed, wakefulness agitateth me * and
melancholy increaseth on me * and I have no patience to endure
the absence of thee * O thou who excellest sun and moon in
brilliancy * Desire of repose despoileth me * and passion
destroyeth me * and how should it be otherwise with me, seeing
that I am of the number of the dying? *O glory of the world and
Ornament of life, she whose vital spirits are cut off shall her
cup be sweet to quaff? * For that she is neither with the quick
nor with the dead." And she improvised these couplets and said,

"Thy writ, O Masr£r, stirred my sprite to pine * For by Allah,
all patience and solace I tyne:
When I read thy scripture, my vitals yearned * And watered the
herbs of the wold these eyne.
On Night's wings I'd fly an a bird * And sans thee I weet not the
sweets of wine:
Life's unlawful to me since thou faredst far * To bear parting-
lowe is no force of mine."

Then she sprinkled the letter with powder of musk and ambergris
and, having sealed it with her signet, committed it to a
merchant, saying, "Deliver it to none save to my sister." When it
reached Nasim she sent it to Masrur, who kissed it and laid it on
his eyes and wept till he fell into a trance. Such was their
case; but as regards the Jew, he presently heard of their
correspondence and began again to travel from place to place with
Zayn al-Mawasif and her damsels, till she said to him, "Glory to
God! How long wilt thou fare with us and bear us afar from our
homes?" Quoth he, "I will fare on with you a year's journey, so
no more letters may reach you from Masrur. I see how you take all
my monies and give them to him; so all that I miss I shall
recover from you: and I shall see if Masrur will profit you or
have power to deliver you from my hand." Then he repaired to a
blacksmith, after stripping her and her damsels of their silken
apparel and clothing them in raiment of hair-cloth, and bade him
make three pairs of iron shackles. When they were ready, he
brought the smith in to his wife, having said to him, "Put the
shackles on the legs of these three slave-girls." The first that
came forward was Zayn al-Mawasif, and when the blacksmith saw
her, his sense forsook him and he bit his finger tips and his wit
fled forth his head and his transport grew sore upon him. So he
said to the Jew, "What is the crime of these damsels?" Replied
the other, "They are my slave-girls, and have stolen my good and
fled from me." Cried the smith, "Allah disappoint thy jealous
whims! By the Almighty, were this girl before the Kazi of
Kazis,[FN#359] he would not even reprove her, though she
committed a thousand crimes a day. Indeed, she showeth not
thief's favour and she cannot brook the laying of irons on her
legs." And he asked him as a boon not to fetter her, interceding
with him to forbear the shackles. When she saw the blacksmith
taking her part in this wise she said to her husband, "I conjure
thee, by Allah, bring me not forth before yonder strange man!"
Said he, "Why then camest thou forth before Masrur?"; and she
made him no reply. Then he accepted the smith's intercession, so
far as to allow him to put a light pair of irons on her legs, for
that she had a delicate body, which might not brook harsh usage,
whilst he laid her handmaids in heavy bilboes, and they ceased
not, all three, to wear hair-cloth night and day till their
bodies became wasted and their colour changed. As for the
blacksmith, exceeding love had fallen on his heart for Zayn
al-Mawasif; so he returned home in great concern and he fell to
reciting extempore these couplets,

"Wither thy right, O smith, which made her bear * Those iron
chains her hands and feet to wear!
Thou hast ensoiled a lady soft and bright, * Marvel of marvels,
fairest of the fair:
Hadst thou been just, those anklets ne'er had been * Of iron: nay
of purest gold they were:
By Allah! did the K zis' K zi sight * Her charms, he'd seat her
in the highest chair."

Now it chanced that the Kazi of Kazis passed by the smith's house
and heard him improvise these lines; so he sent for him and as
soon as he saw him said to him, "O blacksmith, who is she on whom
thou callest so instantly and eloquently and with whose love thy
heart is full filled?" The smith sprang to his feet and kissing
the Judge's hand, answered, "Allah prolong the days of our lord
the Kazi and ample his life!" Then he described to him Zayn
al-Mawasif's beauty and loveliness, brilliancy and perfection,
and symmetry and grace and how she was lovely faced and had a
slender waist and heavily based; and acquainted him with the
sorry plight wherein she was for abasement and durance vile and
lack of victual. When the Kazi heard this, he said, "O
blacksmith, send her to us and show her that we may do her
justice, for thou art become accountable for the damsel and
unless thou guide her to us, Allah will punish thee at the Day of
Doom." "I hear and obey," replied the smith and betook himself
without stay and delay to Zayn al-Mawasif's lodging, but found
the door barred and heard a voice of plaintive tone that came
from heart forlorn and lone; and it was Zayn al-Mawasif reciting
these couplets,

"I and my love in union were unite; * And filled my friend to me
cups clearly bright
Between us reigned high mirth and jollity, * Nor Eve nor Morn
brought 'noyance or affright
Indeed we spent most joyous time, with cup * And lute and
dulcimer to add delight,
Till Time estranged our fair companionship; * My lover went and
blessing turned to blight.
Ah would the Severance-raven's croak were stilled * And
Union-dawn of Love show blessŠd light!"

When the blacksmith heard this, he wept like the weeping of the
clouds. Then he knocked at the door and the women said, "Who is
at the door?" Answered he, "'Tis I, the blacksmith," and told
them what the Kazi had said and how he would have them appear
before him and make their complaint to him, that he might do them
justice on their adversary.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of
day and ceased to say her permitted say,

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-eighth Night,

She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the
blacksmith told Zayn al-Mawasif what the Kazi had said, and how
he summoned them that he might apply the Lex Talionis to their
adversary, she rejoined, "How can we go to him, seeing the door
is locked on us and our feet shackled and the Jew hath the keys?"
The smith replied, "I will make the keys for the padlocks and
therewith open door and shackles." Asked she, "But who will show
us the Kazi's house?"; and he answered, "I will describe it to
you." She enquired, "But how can we appear before him, clad as we
are in haircloth reeking with sulphur?" And the smith rejoined,
"The Kazi will not reproach this to you, considering your case."
So saying, he went forthright and made keys for the padlocks,
wherewith he opened the door and the shackles, and loosing the
irons from their legs, carried them forth and guided them to the
Kazi's mansion. Then Hubub did off the hair-cloth garments from
her lady's body and carried her to the Hammam, where she bathed
her and attired her in silken raiment, and her colour returned to
her. Now it happened, by exceeding good fortune, that her husband
was abroad at a bride-feast in the house of one of the merchants;
so Zayn al-Mawasif, the Adornment of Qualities, adorned herself
with the fairest ornaments and repaired to the Kazi, who at once
on espying her rose to receive her. She saluted him with softest
speech and winsomest words, shooting him through the vitals the
while with the shafts of her glances, and said, "May Allah
prolong the life of our lord the Kazi and strengthen him to judge
between man and man!" Then she acquainted him with the affair of
the blacksmith and how he had done nobly by them, whenas the Jew
had inflicted on her and her women heart-confounding torments;
and how his victims deathwards he drave, nor was there any found
to save. "O damsel," quoth the Kazi, "what is thy name?" "My name
is Zayn al Mawasif,--Adomment of Qualities--and this my
handmaid's name is Hubub." "Thy name accordeth with the named and
its sound conformeth with its sense." Whereupon she smiled and
veiled her face, and he said to her, "O Zayn al-Mawasif, hast
thou a husband or not?" "I have no husband"; "And what Is thy
Faith?" "That of Al-Islam, and the religion of the Best Of Men."
"Swear to me by Holy Law replete with signs and instances that
thou ownest the creed of the Best of Mankind." So she swore to
him and pronounced the profession of the Faith. Then asked the
Kazi, "How cometh it that thou wastest thy youth with this Jew?"
And she answered, "Know, O Kazi (may Allah prolong thy days in
contentment and bring thee to thy will and thine acts with
benefits seal!), that my father left me, after his death, fifteen
thousand dinars, which he placed in the hands of this Jew, that
he might trade therewith and share his gains with me, the head of
the property[FN#360] being secured by legal acknowledgment. When
my father died, the Jew coveted me and sought me in marriage of
my mother, who said, 'How shall I drive her from her Faith and
cause to become a Jewess? By Allah, I will denounce thee to the
rulers!' He was affrighted at her words and taking the money,
fled to the town of Adan.[FN#361] When we heard where he was, we
came to Adan in search of him, and when we foregathered with him
there, he told us that he was trading in stuffs with the monies
and buying goods upon goods. So we believed him and he ceased not
to cozen us till he cast us into jail and fettered us and
tortured us with exceeding sore torments; and we are strangers in
the land and have no helper save Almighty Allah and our lord the
Kazi." When the judge heard this tale he asked Hubub the nurse,
"Is this indeed thy lady and are ye strangers and is she
unmarried?", and she answered, "Yes." Quoth he, "Marry her to me
and on me be incumbent manumission of my slaves and fasting and
pilgrimage and almsgiving of all my good an I do you not justice
on this dog and punish him for that he hath done!" And quoth she,
"I hear and obey." Then said the Kazi, "Go, hearten thy heart and
that of thy lady; and to-morrow, Inshallah, I will send for this
miscreant and do you justice on him and ye shall see prodigies of
his punishment." So Hubub called down blessings upon him and went
forth from him with her mistress, leaving him with passion and
love-longing fraught and with distress and desire distraught.
Then they enquired for the house of the second Kazi and
presenting themselves before him, told him the same tale. On like
wise did the twain, mistress and maid with the third and the
fourth, till Zayn al-Mawasif had made her complaint to all the
four Kazis, each of whom fell in love with her and besought her
to wed him, to which she consented with a "Yes"; nor wist any one
of the four that which had happened to the others. All this
passed without the knowledge of the Jew, who spent the night in
the house of the bridefeast. And when morning morrowed, Hubub
arose and gat ready her lady's richest raiment; then she clad her
therewith and presented herself with her before the four Kazis in
the court of justice. As soon as she entered, she veiled her face
and saluted the judges, who returned her salam and each and every
of them recognised her. One was writing, and the reed-pen dropped
from his hand, another was talking, and his tongue became tied,
and a third was reckoning and blundered in his reckoning; and
they said to her, "O admirable of attributes and singular among
beauties! be not thy heart other than hearty, for we will
assuredly do thee justice and bring thee to thy desire." So she
called down blessings on them and farewelled them and went her
ways.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying
her permitted say.

When it was the Eight Hundred and Fifty-ninth Night,

She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the
Kazis said to Zayn al-Mawasif, "O admirable of attributes and
singular among beauties! Be not thy heart other than hearty for
our doing thy desire and thy winning to thy will." So she called
down blessings on them and farewelled them and went her ways, the
while her husband abode with his friends at the marriage-banquet
and knew naught of her doings. Then she proceeded to beseech the
notaries and scribes and the notables and the Chiefs of Police to
succour her against that unbelieving miscreant and deliver her
from the torment she suffered from him. Then she wept with sore
weeping and improvised these couplets,

"Rain showers of torrent tears, O Eyne and see * An they will
quench the fires that flame in me:
After my robes of gold-embroidered silk * I wake to wear the
frieze of monkery:
And all my raiment reeks of sulphur-fumes * When erst my shift
shed musky fragrancy:
And hadst thou, O Masr£r, my case descried, * Ne'er hadst thou
borne my shame and ignomy.
And eke Hub£b in iron chains is laid * By Miscreant who unknows
God's Unity.
The creed of Jewry I renounce and home, * The Moslem's Faith
accepting faithfully
Eastwards[FN#362] I prostrate self in fairest guise * Holding the
only True Belief that be:
Masr£r! forget not love between us twain * And keep our vows and
troth with goodly gree:
I've changed my faith for sake of thee, and I * For stress of
love will cleave to secrecy:
So haste to us, an us in heart thou bear, * As noble spirit, nor
as laggard fare."

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Scottish book of the year goes to Kieron Smith, Boy by James Kelman

The barrister Constance Briscoe has won the libel case brought against her by her mother, Carmen Briscoe-Mitchell, over her bestselling misery memoir Ugly, in which she accused Briscoe-Mitchell of childhood cruelty and neglect.

Briscoe-Mitchell claimed the allegations were "a piece of fiction", and sued Briscoe and her publishers Hodder & Stoughton for libel.

A 10-day hearing at the high court in London concluded earlier today with a unanimous verdict from the jury after more than a day's deliberation. Speaking outside the court, Briscoe, a part-time judge, said she was "very happy" with the verdict.

"It is sad that my mother still feels the need to pursue me. Now I just want to get on with my career," she said. "I can quite understand why my family went into collective denial, but whilst child abuse may be committed behind closed doors, it should never be swept under the carpet."

The hearing saw Briscoe tell Mr Justice Tugendhat and a jury how her mother beat her with a stick for wetting the bed, called her a "dirty little whore" and drove her to attempt suicide by drinking bleach.

Briscoe's account of her upbringing was published in 2006 and has sold more than 400,000 copies in the UK.

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American film producer to publish version of the Bible in which God says it is better to be gay than straight

The royal family doesn't need a poet

The power of Jane Austen never ceases to amaze: the myriad film and TV adaptations, the biopics, the spin-off self-help books, the novels about Austen book clubs and Austen obsessives and even, next spring, the publication of a book about "how Jane Austen conquered the world" (Jane's Fame, by Clare Harman). And now comes the just-too-weird story that deceased fans of Jane Austen have been banned from having their ashes scattered in her garden. In a letter to the Jane Austen Society, Louise West, the collections manager of Jane Austen's House Museum, wrote: "While we understand many admirers of Jane Austen would love to have ashes laid here, it is something we do not allow. It is distressing for visitors to see mounds of human ash, particularly so for our gardener. Also, it is of no benefit to the garden!" (Or is it? Surely a small quantity of fresh ashes judiciously placed beneath a hydrangea bush is just the ticket?)

Anyway, leaving aside the Gardeners' Question Time minutiae, what on earth is going on here? I like an Austen novel as much as the next person – I probably reread my way through the complete works every couple of years – but I am baffled as to why one would want to be laid to rest among the flowerbeds of Chawton. The only explanation is the currently unstoppable power of the Austen cult, fuelled by Colin Firth in a wet blouse, by Andrew Davies's adaptations, and by Hollywood. I'm all for enjoying books, but the cult of Austen has reached ridiculous proportions. In a post-feminist world that should know better, she seems to be adored as the comforting provider of romantic, happy-endings nonsense instead of the sharp and acerbic social satirist she deserves to be seen as.

(Does anyone actually believe her, by the way, when she foretells a happy marriage for Darcey and Elizabeth? I fear a woman as interesting as Elizabeth would be sorely disappointed with this standard-issue British Repressed Public-school Man - hopeless emotionally, and probably hopeless in bed.)

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