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The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8 by Richard F. Burton

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 8

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[FN#75] Arab. "M  al-Mal hat" = water (brilliancy) of beauty.

[FN#76] The fourth of the Seven Heavens, the "Garden of
Eternity," made of yellow coral.

[FN#77] How strange this must sound to the Young Woman of London
in the nineteenth century.

[FN#78] "Forty days" is a quasi-religious period amongst Moslem
for praying, fasting and religious exercises: here it represents
our "honey-moon." See vol. v. p. 62.

[FN#79] Y  layta, still popular. Herr Carlo Landberg (Proverbes
et Dictons du Peuple Arabe, vol. i. of Syria, Leyden, E. J.
Brill, 1883) explains layta for rayta (=raayta) by permutation of
liquids and argues that the contraction is ancient (p. 42). But
the Herr is no Arabist: "Layta" means "would to Heaven," or,
simply "I wish," "I pray" (for something possible or impossible);
whilst "La'alla" (perhaps, it may be) prays only for the
possible: and both are simply particles governing the noun in
the oblique or accusative case.

[FN#80] "His" for "her," i.e. herself, making somewhat of
confusion between her state and that of her son.

[FN#81] i.e. his mother; the words are not in the Mac. Edit.

[FN#82] Baghdad is called House of Peace, amongst other reasons,
from the Dijlah (Tigris) River and Valley "of Peace." The word
was variously written Baghd d, B ghd d, (our old Bughdaud and
Bagdat), Baghz z, Baghz n, Baghd n, Baghz m and Maghd d as Makkah
and Bakkah (Koran iii. 90). Religious Moslems held B gh (idol)
and D d (gift) an ill-omened conjunction, and the Greeks changed
it to Eirenopolis. (See Ouseley's Oriental Collcctions, vol. i.
pp. 18-20.)

[FN#83] This is a popular saying but hardly a "vulgar proverb."
(Lane iii. 522.) It reminds rather of Shakespear's:

"So loving to my mother,
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly."

[FN#84] i.e. God forbid that I should oppose thee!

[FN#85] Here the writer again forgets apparently, that Shahrazad
is speaking: she may, however, use the plural for the singular
when speaking of herself.

[FN#86] i.e. She would have pleaded ill-treatment and lawfully
demanded to be sold.

[FN#87] The Hindus speak of "the only bond that woman knows--her
heart."

[FN#88] i.e. a rarity, a present (especially in Persian).

[FN#89] Arab. "Al-bis t" wa'l-masnad lit. the carpet and the
cushion.

[FN#90] For "B b al-bahr" and "B b al-Barr" see vol. iii. 281.

[FN#91] She was the daughter of Ja'afar bin Mans£r; but, as will
be seen, The Nights again and again called her father Al-K sim.

[FN#92] This is an error for the fifth which occurs in the
popular saying, "Is he the fifth of the sons of Al-Abb s!" i.e.
Harun al-Rashid. Lane (note, in loco) thus accounts for the
frequent mention of the Caliph, the greatest of the Abbasides in
The Nights. But this is a causa non causa.

[FN#93] i.e. I find thy beauty all-sufficient. So the proverb
"The son of the quarter (young neighbour) filleth not the eye,"
which prefers a stranger.

[FN#94] They are mere doggerel, like most of the pieces de
circonstance.

[FN#95] Afterwards called W k W k, and in the Bresl. Edit. W k
al-W k. See Lane's notes upon these Islands. Arab Geographers
evidently speak of two Wak Waks. Ibn al-Fakih and Al-Mas'£di
(Fr. Transl., vol. iii. 6-7) locate one of them in East Africa
beyond Zanzibar and Sofala. "Le territoire des Zendjes
(Zanzibar-Negroids) commence au canal (Al-Khalij) d‚riv‚ du haut
Nil (the Juln River?) et se prolonge jusqu'au pays de Sofalah et
des Wak-Wak." It is simply the peninsula of Guardafui (Jard
Hafun) occupied by the Gallas, pagans and Christians, before
these were ousted by the Moslem Somal; and the former perpetually
ejaculated "Wak" (God) as Moslems cry upon Allah. This
identification explains a host of other myths such as the
Amazons, who as Marco Polo tells us held the "Female Island"
Socotra (Yule ii. 396). The fruit which resembled a woman's head
(whence the puelloe Wakwakienses hanging by the hair from trees),
and which when ripe called out "Wak Wak" and "Allah al-Khall k"
(the Creator) refers to the Calabash-tree (Adausonia digitata),
that grotesque growth, a vegetable elephant, whose gourds,
something larger than a man's head, hang by a slender filament.
Similarly the "cocoa" got its name, in Port. = Goblin, from the
fancied face at one end. The other Wak Wak has been identified in
turns with the Seychelles, Madagascar, Malacca, Sunda or Java
(this by LanglŠs), China and Japan. The learned Prof. de Goeje
(Arabishe Berichten over Japan, Amsterdam, Muller, 1880) informs
us that in Canton the name of Japan is Wo-Kwok, possibly a
corruption of Koku-tan, the ebony-tree (Diospyros ebenum) which
Ibn Khor-d bah and others find together with gold in an island
4,500 parasangs from Suez and East of China. And we must
remember that Basrah was the chief starting-place for the
Celestial Empire during the rule of the Tang dynasty (seventh and
ninth centuries). Colonel J. W. Watson of Bombay suggests New
Guinea or the adjacent islands where the Bird of Paradise is said
to cry "Wak Wak!" Mr. W. F. Kirby in the Preface (p. ix.) to his
neat little book "The New Arabian Nights," says: "The Islands of
Wak-Wak, seven years' journey from Bagdad, in the story of Hasan,
have receded to a distance of a hundred and fifty years' journey
in that of Majin (of Khorasan). There is no doubt(?) that the
Cora Islands, near New Guinea, are intended; for the wonderful
fruits which grow there are Birds of Paradise, which settle in
flocks on the trees at sunset and sunrise, uttering this very
cry." Thus, like Ophir, Wak Wak has wandered all over the world
and has been found even in Peru by the Turkish work T rikh
al-Hind al-Gharbi = History of the West Indies (Orient. Coll. iii
189).

[FN#96] I accept the emendation of Lane's Shaykh, "Nasim "
(Zephyr) for "Nadim " (cup-companion).

[FN#97] "Jannat al-N 'im" = Garden of Delights is No. V Heaven,
made of white diamond.

[FN#98] This appears to her very prettily put.

[FN#99] This is the "House of Sadness" of our old chivalrous
Romances. See chapt. vi. of "Palmerin of England," by Francisco
de Moraes (ob. 1572), translated by old Anthony Munday (dateless,
1590?) and "corrected" (read spoiled) by Robert Southey, London,
Longmans, 1807.

[FN#100] The lines have occurred in Night clix. (vol. iii. 183),
I quote Mr. Payne who, like Lane, prefers "in my bosom" to
"beneath my ribs."

[FN#101] In this tale the Bresl. Edit. more than once adds "And
let us and you send a blessing to the Lord of Lords" (or to
"Mohammed," or to the "Prophet"); and in vol. v. p. 52 has a long
prayer. This is an act of contrition in the tale-teller for
romancing against the expressed warning of the Founder of
Al-Islam.

[FN#102] From Bresl. Edit. (vi. 29): the four in the Mac. Edit.
are too irrelevant.

[FN#103] Arab. "Ghay£r"--jealous, an admirable epithet which
Lane dilutes to "changeable"--making a truism of a metaphor.

[FN#104] These lines have occurred before. I quote Mr. Payne.

[FN#105] i.e. One fated to live ten years.

[FN#106] This poetical way of saying "fourteen" suggests Camoens
(The Lusiads) Canto v. 2.

[FN#107] Arab. "Surrah," lit. = a purse: a few lines lower down
it is called "'Ulbah" = a box which, of course, may have
contained the bag.

[FN#108] The month which begins the Moslem year.

[FN#109] As an Arab often does when deep in thought. Lane
appositely quotes John viii. 6. "Jonas stooped down, and with his
finger wrote on the ground." Mr. Payne translates, "He fell
a-drumming on the earth with his fingers," but this does not
complete the sense.

[FN#110] i.e."And the peace of Allah be upon thee! that will end
thy story." The Arab formula, "Wa al-Sal m" (pron. Wassal m) is
used in a variety of senses.

[FN#111] Like Camoens, one of the model lovers, he calls upon
Love to torment him still more--ad majorern Dei (amoris) gloriam.

[FN#112] Pron. Aboor-Ruwaysh. "The Father of the little
Feather": he is afterwards called "Son of the daughter of the
accursed Iblis"; yet, as Lane says, "he appears to be a virtuous
person."

[FN#113] Arab. "Kantara al-lij m fi Karb£s (bow) sarjih."

[FN#114] I do not translate "beckoned" because the word would
give a wrong idea. Our beckoning with the finger moved towards
the beckoner makes the so-beckoned Eastern depart in all haste.
To call him you must wave the hand from you.

[FN#115] The Arabs knew what large libraries were; and a learned
man could not travel without camel-loads of dictionaries.

[FN#116] Arab. "Adim;" now called Bulgh r, our Moroccan
leather.

[FN#117] Arab. "Zin d," which Lane renders by "instruments for
striking fire," and Mr. Payne, after the fashion of the
translators of Al-Hariri, "flint and steel."

[FN#118] A congener of Hasan and Husayn, little used except in
Syria where it is a favourite name for Christians. The Muhit of
Butrus Al-Bost ni (s.v.) tells us that it also means a bird
called Ab£ Hasan and supplies various Egyptian synonyms. In Mod.
Arab. Grammar the form Fa''£l is a diminutive as Hamm£d for
Ahmad, 'Amm£r for 'Amr£. So the fem. form, Fa''£lah, e.g.
Khadd£gah = little Khadijah and Naff£sah=little Nafisah; Ar'£rah
= little clitoris - whereas in Heb. it is an incrementative e.g.
dabb£lah a large dablah (cake or lump of dried figs, etc.).

[FN#119] In the Mac. Edit. "Soldiers of Al-Daylam" i.e. warlike
as the Daylamites or Medes. See vol. ii. 94.

[FN#120] Bilkis, it will be remembered, is the Arab. name of the
Queen of Sheba who visited Solomon. In Abyssinia she is termed
Kebra z  negest or z  makad , the latter (according to Ferdinand
Werne's "African Wanderings," Longmans, 1852) being synonymous
with Ityopia or Habash (Ethiopia or Abyssinia).

[FN#121] Arab. "Dakkah," which Lane translates by "settee."

[FN#122] Arab. "Ambar al-Kh m" the latter word (raw) being pure
Persian.

[FN#123] The author neglects to mention the ugliest part of
old-womanhood in the East, long empty breasts like
tobacco-pouches. In youth the bosom is beautifully high, arched
and rounded, firm as stone to the touch, with the nipples erect
and pointing outwards. But after the girl-mother's first child
(in Europe le premier embellit) all changes. Nature and bodily
power have been overtasked; then comes the long suckling at the
mother's expense: the extension of the skin and the enlargement
of its vessels are too sudden and rapid for the diminished
ability of contraction and the bad food aids in the continual
consumption of vitality. Hence, among Eastern women age and
ugliness are synonymous. It is only in the highest civilisation
that we find the handsome old woman.

[FN#124] The name has occurred in the Knightly tale of King Omar
and his sons, Vol. ii. 269. She is here called Mother of
Calamities,but in p. 123, Vol. iv. of the Mac. Edit. she becomes
"Lady (Z t) al-Daw hi." It will be remembered that the title
means calamitous to the foe.

[FN#125] By this address she assured him that she had no design
upon his chastity. In Moslem lands it is always advisable to
accost a strange woman, no matter how young, with, "Y  Ummi!" = O
my mother. This is pledging one's word, as it were, not to make
love to her.

[FN#126] Apparently the Wakites numbered their Islands as the
Anglo-Americans do their streets. For this they have been
charged with "want of imagination"; but the custom is strictly
classical. See at Pompeii "Reg (io) I; Ins (ula) 1, Via Prima,
Secunda," etc.

[FN#127] These are the Puell‘ Wakwakienses of whom Ibn Al-Wardi
relates after an ocular witness, "Here too is a tree which bears
fruits like women who have fair faces and are hung by their hair.
They come forth from integuments like large leathern bags
(calabash-gourds?) and when they sense air and sun they cry 'Wak!
Wak!' (God! God!) till their hair is cut, and when it is cut
they die; and the islanders understand this cry wherefrom they
augure ill." The Aj ib al-Hind (chapt. xv.) places in Wak-land
the Samandal, a bird which enters the fire without being burnt
evidently the Egyptian "Pi-Benni," which the Greeks metamorphised
to "Phoenix." It also mentions a hare-like animal, now male then
female, and the Somal behind Cape Guardafui tell the same tale of
their Cynhy‘nas.

[FN#128] i.e. I will keep thee as though thou wert the apple of
my eye.

[FN#129] A mere exaggeration of the "Gull-fairs" noted by
travellers in sundry islands as Ascension and the rock off
Brazilian Santos.

[FN#130] Arab. "K mil wa Basit wa W fir" = the names of three
popular metres, for which see the Terminal Essay.

[FN#131] Arab. "Man shif" = drying towels, Plur. of Minshafah,
and the popular term which Dr. Jonathan Swift corrupted to
"Munnassaf." Lane (Nights, Introduct. p. ix.).

[FN#132] Arab. "Shafaif" opposed to "Shafah" the mouth-lips.

[FN#133] Fountains of Paradise. This description is a fair
instance of how the Saj'a (prose-rhyme) dislocates the order; an
Arab begins with hair, forehead, eyebrows and lashes and when he
reaches the nose, he slips down to the toes for the sake of the
assonance. If the latter be neglected the whole list of charms
must be otherwise ordered; and the student will compare Mr.
Payne's version of this passage with mine.

[FN#134] A fair specimen of the Arab logogriph derived from the
Abjad Alphabet which contains only the Hebrew and Syriac letters
not the six Arabic. Thus 4 X 5=20 which represents the Kaf (K)
and 6 X 10=60, or Sin (S). The whole word is thus "Kos", the
Greek {Greek letters} or {Greek letters}, and the lowest word, in
Persian as in Arabic, for the female pudenda, extensively used in
vulgar abuse. In my youth we had at the University something of
the kind,

To five and five and fifty-five
The first of letters add
To make a thing to please a King
And drive a wise man mad.

Answer VVLVA. Very interesting to the anthropological student is
this excursus of Hasan, who after all manner of hardships and
horrors and risking his life to recover his wife and children,
breaks out into song on the subject of her privities. And it can
hardly be tale-teller's gag as both verse and prose show
considerable art in composition. (See p. 348.)

Supplementary Note To Hasan of Bassorah.

Note(p.93)--There is something wondrous naive in a lover who,
when asked by his mistress to sing a song in her honour, breaks
out into versical praises of her parts. But even the classical
Arab authors did not disdain such themes. See in Al-Hariri (Ass.
of Mayyafarikin) where Abu Zayd laments the impotency of old age
in form of a Rasy or funeral oration (Preston p. 484, and Chenery
p. 221). It completely deceived Sir William Jones, who inserted
it into the chapter "De Poesi Funebri," p. 527 (Poeseos Asiaticae
Commentarii), gravely noting, "Haec Elegia non admodum dissimilis
esse videtur pulcherrimi illius carminis de Sauli et Jonathani
obitu; at que adeo versus iste 'ubi provocant adversarios nunquam
rediit a pugnae contentione sine spiculo sanguine imbuto, 'ex
Hebraeoreddi videtur,

A sanguine occisorum, a fortium virorum adipe,
Arcus Jonathani non rediit irritus."

I need hardly say with Captain Lockett (226) that this "Sabb
warrior," this Arabian Achilles, is the celebrated Bonus Deus or
Hellespontiacus of the Ancients. The oration runs thus:--

O folk I have a wondrous tale, so rare
Much shall it profit hearers wise and ware!
I saw in salad-years a potent Brave
And sharp of edge and point his warrior glaive;
Who entered joust and list with hardiment
Fearless of risk, of victory confident,
His vigorous onset straitest places oped
And easy passage through all narrows groped:
He ne'er encountered foe in single fight
But came from tilt with spear in blood stained bright;
Nor stormed a fortress howso strong and stark--
With fenced gates defended deep and dark--
When shown his flag without th' auspicious cry
"Aidance from Allah and fair victory nigh!"
Thus wise full many a night his part he played
In strength and youthtide's stately garb arrayed,
Dealing to fair young girl delicious joy
And no less welcome to the blooming boy.
But Time ne'er ceased to stint his wondrous strength
(Steadfast and upright as the gallow's length)
Until the Nights o'erthrew him by their might
And friends contemned him for a feckless wight;
Nor was a wizard but who wasted skill
Over his case, nor leach could heal his ill.
Then he abandoned arms abandoned him
Who gave and took salutes so fierce and grim;
And now lies prostrate drooping haughty crest;
For who lives longest him most ills molest.
Then see him, here he lies on bier for bet;--
Who will a shroud bestow on stranger dead?

A fair measure of the difference between Eastern and Western
manners is afforded by such a theme being treated by their
gravest writers and the verses being read and heard by the
gravest and most worshipful men, whilst amongst us Preston and
Chenery do not dare even to translate them. The latter, indeed,
had all that immodest modesty for which English professional
society is notable in this xixth century. He spoiled by
needlessly excluding from a scientific publication (Mem. R.A.S.)
all of my Proverbia Communia Syriaca (see Unexplored Sryia, i.
364) and every item which had a shade of double entendre. But
Nemesis frequently found him out: during his short and obscure
rule in Printing House Square, The Thunderer was distinguished by
two of the foulest indecencies that ever appeared in an English
paper.

The well-known Koranic verse, whereby Allah is introduced into
an indecent tale and "Holy Writ" is punned upon. I have noticed
(iii. 206) that victory Fat'h lit.=opening everything (as e.g. a
maidenhead).

[FN#135] Egyptian and Syrian vulgar term for Maw liyah or
Maw liyah, a short poem on subjects either classical or vulgar.
It generally consists of five lines all rhyming except the
penultimate. The metre is a species of the Basit which, however,
admits of considerable poetical license; this being according to
Lane the usual "Weight,"

--U-/-U-/--U-/--.

The scheme is distinctly anapaestic and Mr. Lyall (Translations
of Ancient Arabic Poetry) compares with a cognate metre, the
Tawil, certain lines in Abt Vogler, e.g.

"Ye know why the forms are fair, ye hear how the tale is told."

[FN#136] i.e. repeat the chapter of the Koran termed The
Opening, and beginning with these words, "Have we not opened thy
breast for thee and eased thee of thy burden which galled thy
back? *** Verily with the difficulty cometh ease!"--Koran xciv.
vol. 1, 5.

[FN#137] Lane renders Nur al-Hud… (Light of Salvation) by Light
of Day which would be Nur al-Had….

[FN#138] In the Bresl. Edit. "Y  Sal m"=O safety!--a vulgar
ejaculation.

[FN#139] A favourite idiom meaning from the mischief which may
(or will) come from the Queen.

[FN#140] He is not strong-minded but his feminine persistency of
purpose, likest to that of a sitting hen, is confirmed by the
"Consolations of religion." The character is delicately drawn.

[FN#141] In token that she intended to act like a man.

[FN#142] This is not rare even in real life: Moslem women often
hide and change their names for superstitious reasons, from the
husband and his family.

[FN#143] Arab. "Sabab" which also means cause. Vol. ii. 14.
There is the same metaphorical use of "Habl"= cord and cause.

[FN#144] Arab. "Him…," a word often occurring in Arab poetry,
domain, a pasture or watered land forcibly kept as far as a dog's
bark would sound by some masterful chief like "King Kulayb." (See
vol. ii. 77.) This tenure was forbidden by Mohammed except for
Allah and the Apostle (i.e. himself). Lane translates it
"asylum."

[FN#145] She was a maid and had long been of marriageable age.

[FN#146] The young man had evidently "kissed the Blarney stone";
but the flattery is the more telling as he speaks from the heart.

[FN#147] "Inshallah " here being= D. V.

[FN#148] i.e. The "Place of Light" (Pharos), or of Splendour.
Here we find that Hasan's wife is the youngest sister, but with
an extraordinary resemblance to the eldest, a very masterful
young person. The anagnorisis is admirably well managed.

[FN#149] i.e. the sweetmeats of the feast provided for the
returning traveller. The old woman (like others) cannot resist
the temptation of a young man's lips. Happily for him she goes
so far and no farther.

[FN#150] The first, fourth, fifth and last names have already
occurred: the others are in order, Star o' Morn, Sun of Undtirn
and Honour of Maidenhood. They are not merely fanciful, but are
still used in Egypt and Syria.

[FN#151] Arab. "F jirah" and elsewhere "Ahirah," =whore and
strumpet used often in loose talk as mere abuse without special
meaning.

[FN#152] This to Westerns would seem a most improbable detail,
but Easterns have their own ideas concerning "Al-Muhabbat
al-ghariziyah" =natural affection, blood speaking to blood, etc.

[FN#153] One of the Hells (see vol. iv. 143). Here it may be
advisable to give the names of the Seven Heavens (which are
evidently based upon Ptolemaic astronomy) and which correspond
with the Seven Hells after the fashion of Arabian system-mania.
(1) Dar al-Jal l (House of Glory) made of pearls; (2) D r
al-Sal m (of Rest), rubies and jacinths; (3) Jannat al-Maaw 
(Garden of Mansions, not "of mirrors," as Herklots has it, p.
98), made of yellow copper; (4) Jannat al-Khuld (of Eternity),
yellow coral; (5) Jannat al-Na'im (of Delights), white diamond;
(6) Jannat al-Firdaus (of Paradise), red gold; and (7) Jannat
al-'Adn (of Eden, or Al-Kar r= of everlasting abode, which some
make No. 8), of red pearls or pure musk. The seven Hells are
given in vol. v. 241; they are intended for Moslems (Jahannam);
Christians (Laz…); Jews (Hutamah); Sabians (Sa'ir); Guebles
(Sakar); Pagans or idolaters (Jahim); and Hypocrites (H wiyah).

[FN#154] Arab. "'Atb," more literally= "blame," "reproach."

[FN#155] Bresl. Edit. In the Mac. "it returned to the place
whence I had brought it"--an inferior reading.

[FN#156] The dreams play an important part in the Romances of
Chivalry, e.g. the dream of King Perion in Amadis de Gaul, chapt.
ii. (London; Longmans, 1803).

[FN#157] Amongst Moslems bastardy is a sore offence and a
love-child is exceedingly rare. The girl is not only carefully
guarded but she also guards herself knowing that otherwise she
will not find a husband. Hence seduction is all but unknown. The
wife is equally well guarded and lacks opportunities hence
adultery is found difficult except in books. Of the Ibn (or
Walad) Har m (bastard as opposed to the Ibn Hal l) the proverb
says, "This child is not thine, so the madder he be the more is
thy glee!" Yet strange to say public prostitution has never been
wholly abolished in Al-Islam. Al-Mas'£di tells us that in Arabia
were public prostitutes'(Bagh y ), even before the days of the
Apostle, who affected certain quarters as in our day the
Tart£shah of Alexandria and the Hosh Bardak of Cairo. Here says
Herr Carlo Landberg (p. 57, Syrian Proverbs) "Elles parlent une
langue toute … elle." So pretentious and dogmatic a writer as
the author of Proverbes et Dictons de la Province de Syrie, ought
surely to have known that the Hosh Bardak is the head-quarters of
the Cairene Gypsies. This author, who seems to write in order to
learn, reminds me of an acute Oxonian undergraduate of my day
who, when advised to take a "coach," became a "coach" himself.

[FN#158] These lines occur in vol. vii. p. 340. I quote Mr.
Payne.

[FN#159] She shows all the semi-maniacal rancour of a good
woman, or rather a woman who has not broken the eleventh
commandment, "Thou shalt not be found out," against an erring
sister who has been discovered. In the East also these unco'g£id
dames have had, and too often have, the power to carry into
effect the cruelty and diabolical malignity which in London and
Paris must vent itself in scan. mag. and anonymous letters.

[FN#160] These faintings and trances are as common in the
Romances of Chivalry e.g. Amadis of Gaul, where they unlace the
garments to give more liberty, pour cold water on the face and
bathe the temples and pulses with diluted vinegar (for rose
water) exactly as they do in The Nights.

[FN#161] So Hafiz, "B d-i-Sab  chu bugzari" etc.

[FN#162] Arab. "Takiyah." See vol. i. 224 and for the Tarn-Kappe
vol. iv. p. 176. In the Sinth sana Dwatrinsati (vulgo. Singh san
Battisi), or Thirty-two Tales of a Throne, we find a bag always
full of gold, a bottomless purse; earth which rubbed on the
forehead overcomes all; a rod which during the first watch of the
night furnishes jewelled ornaments; in the second a beautiful
girl; in the third invisibility, and in the fourth a deadly foe
or death; a flower-garland which renders the possessor invisible
and an unfading lotus-flower which produces a diamond every day.

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Scottish book of the year goes to Kieron Smith, Boy by James Kelman

The barrister Constance Briscoe has won the libel case brought against her by her mother, Carmen Briscoe-Mitchell, over her bestselling misery memoir Ugly, in which she accused Briscoe-Mitchell of childhood cruelty and neglect.

Briscoe-Mitchell claimed the allegations were "a piece of fiction", and sued Briscoe and her publishers Hodder & Stoughton for libel.

A 10-day hearing at the high court in London concluded earlier today with a unanimous verdict from the jury after more than a day's deliberation. Speaking outside the court, Briscoe, a part-time judge, said she was "very happy" with the verdict.

"It is sad that my mother still feels the need to pursue me. Now I just want to get on with my career," she said. "I can quite understand why my family went into collective denial, but whilst child abuse may be committed behind closed doors, it should never be swept under the carpet."

The hearing saw Briscoe tell Mr Justice Tugendhat and a jury how her mother beat her with a stick for wetting the bed, called her a "dirty little whore" and drove her to attempt suicide by drinking bleach.

Briscoe's account of her upbringing was published in 2006 and has sold more than 400,000 copies in the UK.

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Would you have your ashes scattered in Jane Austen's garden?
American film producer to publish version of the Bible in which God says it is better to be gay than straight

The royal family doesn't need a poet

The power of Jane Austen never ceases to amaze: the myriad film and TV adaptations, the biopics, the spin-off self-help books, the novels about Austen book clubs and Austen obsessives and even, next spring, the publication of a book about "how Jane Austen conquered the world" (Jane's Fame, by Clare Harman). And now comes the just-too-weird story that deceased fans of Jane Austen have been banned from having their ashes scattered in her garden. In a letter to the Jane Austen Society, Louise West, the collections manager of Jane Austen's House Museum, wrote: "While we understand many admirers of Jane Austen would love to have ashes laid here, it is something we do not allow. It is distressing for visitors to see mounds of human ash, particularly so for our gardener. Also, it is of no benefit to the garden!" (Or is it? Surely a small quantity of fresh ashes judiciously placed beneath a hydrangea bush is just the ticket?)

Anyway, leaving aside the Gardeners' Question Time minutiae, what on earth is going on here? I like an Austen novel as much as the next person – I probably reread my way through the complete works every couple of years – but I am baffled as to why one would want to be laid to rest among the flowerbeds of Chawton. The only explanation is the currently unstoppable power of the Austen cult, fuelled by Colin Firth in a wet blouse, by Andrew Davies's adaptations, and by Hollywood. I'm all for enjoying books, but the cult of Austen has reached ridiculous proportions. In a post-feminist world that should know better, she seems to be adored as the comforting provider of romantic, happy-endings nonsense instead of the sharp and acerbic social satirist she deserves to be seen as.

(Does anyone actually believe her, by the way, when she foretells a happy marriage for Darcey and Elizabeth? I fear a woman as interesting as Elizabeth would be sorely disappointed with this standard-issue British Repressed Public-school Man - hopeless emotionally, and probably hopeless in bed.)

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