In a Steamer Chair And Other Stories by Robert Barr

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MY STOWAWAY.

"Ye can play yer jokes on Nature,
An' play 'em slick,
She'll grin a grin, but, landsakes, friend,
Look out fer the kick!"

One night about eleven o'clock I stood at the stern of that fine
Atlantic steamship, the _City of Venice,_ which was ploughing its way
through the darkness towards America. I leaned on the rounded bulwark
and enjoyed a smoke as I gazed on the luminous trail the wheel was
making in the quiet sea. Some one touched me on the shoulder, saying,
"Beg pardon, sir;" and, on straightening up, I saw in the dim light a
man whom at first I took to be one of the steerage passengers. I thought
he wanted to get past me, for the room was rather restricted in the
passage between the aft wheelhouse and the stern, and I moved aside. The
man looked hurriedly to one side and then the other and, approaching,
said in a whisper, "I'm starving, sir!"

"Why don't you go and get something to eat, then? Don't they give you
plenty forward?"

"I suppose they do, sir; but I'm a stowaway. I got on at Liverpool. What
little I took with me is gone, and for two days I've had nothing."

"Come with me. I'll take you to the steward, he'll fix you all right."

"Oh, no, no, no," he cried, trembling with excitement. "If you speak to
any of the officers or crew I'm lost. I assure you, sir, I'm an honest
man, I am indeed, sir. It's the old story--nothing but starvation at
home, so my only chance seemed to be to get this way to America. If I'm
caught I shall get dreadful usage and will be taken back and put in
jail."

"Oh, you're mistaken. The officers are all courteous gentlemen."

"Yes, to you cabin passengers they are. But to a stowaway--that's a
different matter. If you can't help me, sir, please don't inform on me."

"How can I help you but by speaking to the captain or purser?"

"Get me a morsel to eat."

"Where were you hid?"

"Right here, sir, in this place," and he put his hand on the square
deck-edifice beside us. This seemed to be a spare wheel-house, used if
anything went wrong with the one in front. It had a door on each side
and there were windows all round it. At present it was piled full of
cane folding steamer chairs and other odds and ends.

"I crawl in between the chairs and the wall and get under that piece of
tarpaulin."

"Well, you're sure of being caught, for the first fine day all these
chairs will be taken out and the deck steward can't miss you."

The man sighed as I said this and admitted the chances were much against
him. Then, starting up, he cried, "Poverty is the great crime. If I
had stolen some one else's money I would have been able to take cabin
passage instead of--"

"If you weren't caught."

"Well, if I were caught, what then? I would be well fed and taken care
of."

"Oh, they'd take _care_ of you."

"The waste food in this great ship would feed a hundred hungry wretches
like me. Does my presence keep the steamer back a moment of time? No.
Well, who is harmed by my trying to better myself in a new world? No
one. I am begging for a crust from the lavish plenty, all because I am
struggling to be honest. It is only when I become a thief that I am out
of danger of starvation--caught or free."

"There, there; now, don't speak so loud or you'll have some one here.
You hang round and I'll bring you some provender. What would you like to
have? Poached eggs on toast, roast turkey, or--"

The wretch sank down at my feet as I said this, and, recognising the
cruelty of it, I hurried down into the saloon and hunted up a steward
who had not yet turned in. "Steward," I said, "can you get me a few
sandwiches or anything to eat at this late hour?"

"Yessir, certainly, sir; beef or 'am, sir?"

"Both, and a cup of coffee, please."

"Well, sir, I'm afraid there's no coffee, sir; but I could make you a
pot of tea in a moment, sir."

"All right, and bring them to my room, please?"

"Yessir."

In a very short time there was that faint steward rap at the state-room
door and a most appetising tray-load was respectfully placed at my
service.

When the waiter had gone I hurried up the companion-way with much the
air of a man who is stealing fowls, and I found my stowaway just in the
position I had left him.

"Now, pitch in," I said. "I'll stand guard forward here, and, if you
hear me cough, strike for cover. I'll explain the tray matter if it's
found."

He simply said, "Thank you, sir," and I went forward. When I came back
the tray had been swept clean and the teapot emptied. My stowaway was
making for his den when I said, "How about to-morrow?"

He answered, "This'll do me for a couple of days."

"Nonsense. I'll have a square meal for you here in the corner of this
wheel-house, so that you can get at it without trouble. I'll leave it
about this time to-morrow night."

"You won't tell any one, any one at all, sir?"

"No. At least, I'll think over the matter, and if I see a way out I'll
let you know."

"God bless you, sir."

I turned the incident over in my mind a good deal that night, and I
almost made a resolution to take Cupples into my confidence. Roger
Cupples, a lawyer of San Francisco, sat next me at table, and with the
freedom of wild Westerners we were already well acquainted, although
only a few days out. Then I thought of putting a supposititious case to
the captain--he was a thorough gentleman--and if he spoke generously
about the supposititious case I would spring the real one on him. The
stowaway had impressed me by his language as being a man worth doing
something for.

Nest day I was glad to see that it was rainy. There would be no demand
for ship chairs that day. I felt that real sunshiny weather would
certainly unearth, or unchair, my stowaway. I met Cupples on deck, and
we walked a few rounds together.

At last, Cupples, who had been telling me some stories of court trials
in San Francisco, said, "Let's sit down and wrap up. This deck's too wet
to walk on."

"All the seats are damp," I said.

"I'll get out my steamer chair. Steward," he cried to the deck steward
who was shoving a mop back and forth, "get me my chair. There's a tag on
it, 'Berth 96.'"

"No, no," I cried hastily; "let's go into the cabin. It's raining."

"Only a drizzle. Won't hurt you at sea, you know."

By this time the deck steward was hauling down chairs trying to find No.
96, which I felt sure would be near the bottom. I could not control my
anxiety as the steward got nearer and nearer the tarpaulin. At last I
cried--

"Steward, never mind that chair; take the first two that come handy."

Cupples looked astonished, and, as we sat down, I said--

"I have something to tell you, and I trust you will say nothing about it
to any one else. There's a man under those chairs."

The look that came into the lawyer's face showed that he thought me
demented; but, when I told him the whole story, the judicial expression
came on, and he said, shaking his head--

"That's bad business."

"I know it."

"Yes, but it's worse than you have any idea of. I presume that you don't
know what section 4738 of the Revised Statutes says?"

"No; I don't."

"Well, it is to the effect that any person or persons, who wailfully
or with malice aforethought or otherwise, shall aid, abet, succor or
cherish, either directly or indirectly or by implication, any person who
feloniously or secretly conceals himself on any vessel, barge, brig,
schooner, bark, clipper, steamship or other craft touching at or coming
within the jurisdiction of these United States, the said person's
purpose being the defrauding of the revenue of, or the escaping any or
all of the just legal dues exacted by such vessel, barge, etc., the
person so aiding or abetting, shall in the eye of the law be considered
as accomplice before, during and after the illegal act, and shall in
such case be subject to the penalties accruing thereunto, to wit--a fine
of not more than five thousand dollars, or imprisonment of not more than
two years--or both at the option of the judge before whom the party so
accused is convicted."

"Great heavens! is that really so?"

"Well, it isn't word for word, but that is the purport. Of course, if
I had my books here, I--why, you've doubtless heard of the case of the
Pacific Steamship Company _versus_ Cumberland. I was retained on behalf
of the company. Now all Cumberland did was to allow the man--he was
sent up for two years--to carry his valise on board, but we proved the
intent. Like a fool, he boasted of it, but the steamer brought back the
man, and Cumberland got off with four thousand dollars and costs. Never
got out of that scrape less than ten thousand dollars. Then again, the
steamship _Peruvian versus_ McNish; that is even more to the--"

"See here, Cupples. Come with me to-night and see the man. If you heard
him talk you would see the inhumanity--"

"Tush. I'm not fool enough to mix up in such a matter, and look here,
you'll have to work it pretty slick if you get yourself out. The man
will be caught as sure as fate; then knowingly or through fright he'll
incriminate you."

"What would you do if you were in my place?"

"My dear sir, don't put it that way. It's a reflection on both my
judgment and my legal knowledge. I _couldn't_ be in such a scrape. But,
as a lawyer--minus the fee--I'll tell you what _you_ should do. You
should give the man up before witnesses--before _witnesses_. I'll be
one of them myself. Get as many of the cabin passengers as you like out
here, to-day, and let the officers search. If he charges you with what
the law terms support, deny it, and call attention to the fact that you
have given information. By the way, I would give written information and
keep a copy."

"I gave the man my word not to inform on him and so I can't do it
to-day, but I'll tell him of it to-night."

"And have him commit suicide or give himself up first and incriminate
you? Nonsense. Just release yourself from your promise. That's all.
He'll trust you."

"Yes, poor wretch, I'm afraid he will."

About ten o'clock that night I resolved to make another appeal to
Roger Cupples to at least stand off and hear the man talk. Cupples'
state-room, No. 96, was in the forward part of the steamer, down a long
passage and off a short side passage. Mine was aft the cabin. The door
of 96 was partly open, and inside an astonishing sight met my gaze.

There stood my stowaway.

He was evidently admiring himself in the glass, and with a brush was
touching up his face with dark paint here and there. When he put on a
woe-begone look he was the stowaway; when he chuckled to himself he was
Roger Cupples, Esq.

The moment the thing dawned on me I quietly withdrew and went up the
forward companion way. Soon Cupples came cautiously up and seeing the
way clear scudded along in the darkness and hid in the aft wheelhouse.
I saw the whole thing now. It was a scheme to get me to make a fool
of myself some fine day before the rest of the passengers and have a
standing joke on me. I walked forward. The first officer was on duty.

"I have reason to believe," I said, "that there is a stowaway in the aft
wheelhouse."

Quicker than it takes me to tell it a detachment of sailors were sent
aft under the guidance of the third mate. I went through the saloon
and smoking room, and said to the gentlemen who were playing cards and
reading--"There's a row upstairs of some kind."

We were all on deck before the crew had surrounded the wheelhouse. There
was a rattle of steamer folded chairs, a pounce by the third mate, and
out came the unfortunate Cupples, dragged by the collar.

"Hold on; let go. This is a mistake."

"You can't both hold on and let go," said Stalker, of Indiana.

"Come out o' this," cried the mate, jerking him forward.

With a wrench the stowaway tore himself free and made a dash for the
companion way. A couple of sailors instantly tripped him up.

"Let go of me; I'm a cabin passenger," cried Cupples.

"Bless me!" I cried in astonishment. "This isn't you, Cupples? Why,
I acted on your own advice and that of Revised Statutes, No. what
ever-they-were."

"Well, act on my advice again," cried the infuriated Cupples, "and go
to--the hold."

However, he was better in humour the next day, and stood treat all
round. We found, subsequently, that Cupples was a New York actor, and at
the entertainment given for the benefit of the sailors' orphans, a few
nights after, he recited a piece in costume that just melted the ladies.
It was voted a wonderfully touching performance, and he called it "The
Stowaway."

THE PURSER'S STORY.

"O Mother-nature, kind in touch and tone.
Act as we may, thou clearest to thine own"

I don't know that I should tell this story.

When the purser related it to me I know it was his intention to write it
out for a magazine. In fact he _had_ written it, and I understand that
a noted American magazine had offered to publish it, but I have watched
that magazine for over three years and I have not yet seen the purser's
story in it. I am sorry that I did not write the story at the time; then
perhaps I should have caught the exquisite peculiarities of the purser's
way of telling it. I find myself gradually forgetting the story and
I write it now in case I _shall_ forget it, and then be harassed all
through after life by the remembrance of the forgetting.

There is no position more painful and tormenting than the consciousness
of having had something worth the telling, which, in spite of all
mental effort, just eludes the memory. It hovers nebulously beyond the
outstretched finger-ends of recollection, and, like the fish that gets
off the hook, becomes more and more important as the years fade.

Perhaps, when you read this story, you will say there is nothing in it
after all. Well, that will be my fault, then, and I can only regret I
did not write down the story when it was told to me, for as I sat in the
purser's room that day it seemed to me I had never heard anything more
graphic.

The purser's room was well forward on the Atlantic steamship. From one
of the little red-curtained windows you could look down to where the
steerage passengers were gathered on the deck. When the bow of the great
vessel plunged down into the big Atlantic waves, the smother of foam
that shot upwards would be borne along with the wind, and spatter like
rain against the purser's window. Something about this intermittent
patter on the pane reminded the purser of the story, and so he told it
to me.

There were a great many steerage passengers coming on at Queenstown,
he said, and there was quite a hurry getting them aboard. Two officers
stood at each side of the gangway and took the tickets as the people
crowded forward. They generally had their tickets in their hands and
there was usually no trouble. I stood there and watched them coming
aboard. Suddenly there was a fuss and a jam. "What is it?" I asked the
officer.

"Two girls, sir, say they have lost their tickets."

I took the girls aside and the stream of humanity poured in. One
was about fourteen and the other, perhaps, eight years old. The little
one had a firm grip of the elder's hand and she was crying. The larger
girl looked me straight in the eye as I questioned her.

"Where's your tickets?"

"We lost thim, sur."

"Where?"

"I dunno, sur."

"Do you think you have them about you or in your luggage?"

"We've no luggage, sur."

"Is this your sister?"

"She is, sur."

"Are your parents aboard?"

"They are not, sur."

"Are you all alone?"

"We are, sur."

"You can't go without your tickets."

The younger one began to cry the more, and the elder answered, "Mabbe we
can foind thim, sur."

They were bright-looking, intelligent children, and the larger girl gave
me such quick, straightforward answers, and it seemed so impossible that
children so young should attempt to cross the ocean without tickets that
I concluded to let them come, and resolved to get at the truth on the
way over.

Next day I told the deck steward to bring the children to my room.

They came in just as I saw them the day before, the elder with a tight
grip on the hand of the younger, whose eyes I never caught sight of. She
kept them resolutely on the floor, while the other looked straight at me
with her big, blue eyes.

"Well, have you found your tickets?"

"No, sur."

"What is your name?"

"Bridget, sur."

"Bridget what?"

"Bridget Mulligan, sur."

"Where did you live?"

"In Kildormey, sur."

"Where did you get your tickets?"

"From Mr. O'Grady, sur."

Now, I knew Kildormey as well as I know this ship, and I knew O'Grady
was our agent there. I would have given a good deal at that moment for a
few words with him. But I knew of no Mulligans in Kildormey, although,
of course, there might be. I was born myself only a few miles from the
place. Now, thinks I to myself, if these two children can baffle a
purser who has been twenty years on the Atlantic when they say they came
from his own town almost, by the powers they deserve their passage over
the ocean. I had often seen grown people try to cheat their way across,
and I may say none of them succeeded on _my_ ships.

"Where's your father and mother?"

"Both dead, sur."

"Who was your father?"

"He was a pinshoner, sur."

"Where did he draw his pension?"

"I donno, sur."

"Where did you get the money to buy your tickets?"

"The neighbors, sur, and Mr. O'Grady helped, sur."

"What neighbours? Name them."

She unhesitatingly named a number, many of whom I knew; and as that had
frequently been done before, I saw no reason to doubt the girl's word.

"Now," I said, "I want to speak with your sister. You may go."

The little one held on to her sister's hand and cried bitterly.

When the other was gone, I drew the child towards me and questioned her,
but could not get a word in reply.

For the next day or two I was bothered somewhat by a big Irishman named
O'Donnell, who was a fire-brand among the steerage passengers. He
_would_ harangue them at all hours on the wrongs of Ireland, and the
desirability of blowing England out of the water; and as we had many
English and German passengers, as well as many peaceable Irishmen, who
complained of the constant ructions O'Donnell was kicking up, I was
forced to ask him to keep quiet. He became very abusive one day and
tried to strike me. I had him locked up until he came to his senses.

While I was in my room, after this little excitement, Mrs. O'Donnell
came to me and pleaded for her rascally husband. I had noticed her
before. She was a poor, weak, broken-hearted woman whom her husband made
a slave of, and I have no doubt beat her when he had the chance. She was
evidently mortally afraid of him, and a look from him seemed enough to
take the life out of her. He was a worse tyrant, in his own small way,
than England had ever been.

"Well, Mrs. O'Donnell," I said, "I'll let your husband go, but he will
have to keep a civil tongue in his head and keep his hands off people.
I've seen men, for less, put in irons during a voyage and handed over to
the authorities when they landed. And now I want you to do me a favour.
There are two children on board without tickets. I don't believe they
ever had tickets, and I want to find out. You're a kind-hearted woman,
Mrs. O'Donnell, and perhaps the children will answer you." I had the two
called in, and they came hand in hand as usual. The elder looked at me
as if she couldn't take her eyes off my face.

"Look at this woman," I said to her; "she wants to speak to you. Ask her
some questions about herself," I whispered to Mrs. O'Donnell.

"Acushla," said Mrs. O'Donnell with infinite tenderness, taking the
disengaged hand of the elder girl. "Tell me, darlint, where yees are
from."

I suppose I had spoken rather harshly to them before, although I had
not intended to do so, but however that may be, at the first words of
kindness from the lips of their countrywoman both girls broke down and
cried as if their hearts would break. The poor woman drew them towards
her, and, stroking the fair hair of the elder girl, tried to comfort
her while the tears streamed down her own cheeks. "Hush, acushla; hush,
darlints, shure the gentlemin's not goin' to be hard wid two poor
childher going to a strange country."

Of course it would never do to admit that the company could carry
emigrants free through sympathy, and I must have appeared rather
hard-hearted when I told Mrs. O'Donnell that I would have to take them
back with me to Cork. I sent the children away, and then arranged with
Mrs. O'Donnell to see after them during the voyage, to which she agreed
if her husband would let her. I could get nothing from the girl except
that she had lost her ticket; and when we sighted New York, I took them
through the steerage and asked the passengers if any one would assume
charge of the children and pay their passage. No one would do so.

"Then," I said, "these children will go back with me to Cork; and if I
find they never bought tickets, they will have to go to jail."

There were groans and hisses at that, and I gave the children in charge
of the cabin stewardess, with orders to see that they did not leave
the ship. I was at last convinced that they had no friends among the
steerage passengers. I intended to take them ashore myself before we
sailed; and I knew of good friends in New York who would see to the
little waifs, although I did not propose that any of the emigrants
should know that an old bachelor purser was fool enough to pay for the
passage of a couple of unknown Irish children.

We landed our cabin passengers, and the tender came alongside to take
the steerage passengers to Castle Garden. I got the stewardess to bring
out the children, and the two stood and watched every one get aboard the
tender.

Just as the tender moved away, there was a wild shriek among the crowded
passengers, and Mrs. O'Donnell flung her arms above her head and cried
in the most heart-rending tone I ever heard--"Oh, my babies, my
babies."

"Kape quiet, ye divil," hissed O'Donnell, grasping her by the arm. The
terrible ten days' strain had been broken at last, and the poor woman
sank in a heap at his feet.

"Bring back that boat," I shouted, and the tender came back.

"Come aboard here, O'Donnell."

"I'll not!" he yelled, shaking his fist at me.

"Bring that man aboard."

They soon brought him back, and I gave his wife over to the care of the
stewardess. She speedily rallied, and hugged and kissed her children as
if she would never part with them.

"So, O'Donnell, these are your children?"

"Yis, they are; an' I'd have ye know I'm in a frae country, bedad, and I
dare ye to lay a finger on me."

"Don't dare too much," I said, "or I'll show you what can be done in a
free country. Now, if I let the children go, will you send their passage
money to the company when you get it?"

"I will," he answered, although I knew he lied.

"Well," I said, "for Mrs. O'Donnell's sake, I'll let them go; and I must
congratulate any free country that gets a citizen like you."

Of course I never heard from O'Donnell again.

MISS MCMILLAN.

"Come hop, come skip, fair children all,
Old Father Time is in the hall.
He'll take you on his knee, and stroke
Your golden hair to silver bright,
Your rosy cheeks to wrinkles white"

In the saloon of the fine Transatlantic liner the _Climatus_, two long
tables extend from the piano at one end to the bookcase at the other end
of the ample dining-room.

On each side of this main saloon are four small tables intended to
accommodate six or seven persons. At one of these tables sat a pleasant
party of four ladies and three gentlemen. Three ladies were from
Detroit, and one from Kent, in England. At the head of the table sat Mr.
Blair, the frosts of many American winters in his hair and beard, while
the lines of care in his ragged, cheerful Scottish face told of a life
of business crowned with generous success.

Mr. Waters, a younger merchant, had all the alert vivacity of the
pushing American. He had the distinguished honour of sitting opposite
me at the small table. Blair and Waters occupied the same room, No. 27.
The one had crossed the Atlantic more than fifty times, the other nearly
thirty. Those figures show the relative proportion of their business
experience.

The presence of Mr. Blair gave to our table a sort of patriarchal
dignity that we all appreciated. If a louder burst of laughter than
usual came from where we sat and the other passengers looked inquiringly
our way the sedate and self-possessed face of Mr. Blair kept us in
countenance, and we, who had given way to undue levity, felt ourselves
enshrouded by an atmosphere of genial seriousness. This prevented our
table from getting the reputation of being funny or frivolous.

Some remark that Blair made brought forth the following extraordinary
statement from Waters, who told it with the air of a man exposing the
pretensions of a whited sepulchre.

"Now, before this voyage goes any further," he began, "I have a serious
duty to perform which I can shirk no longer, unpleasant though it be.
Mr. Blair and myself occupy the same state-room. Into that state-room
has been sent a most lovely basket of flowers. It is not an ordinary
basket of flowers, I assure you, ladies. There is a beautiful floral
arch over a bed of colour, and I believe there is some tender sentiment
connected with the display;--'Bon Voyage,' 'Auf Wiedersehen,' or some
such motto marked out in red buds. Now those flowers are not for me. I
think, therefore, that Mr. Blair owes it to this company, which has so
unanimously placed him at the head of the table, to explain how it comes
that an elderly gentleman gets such a handsome floral tribute sent him
from some unknown person in New York."

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