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The Lady of the Aroostook by W. D. Howells

W >> W. D. Howells >> The Lady of the Aroostook

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Staniford's choice long remained a mystery to his acquaintances, and
was but partially explained by Mrs. Dunham, when she came home. "Why,
I suppose he fell in love with her," she said. "Of course, thrown
together that way, as they were, for six weeks, it might have happened
to anybody; but James Staniford was always the most consummate flirt
that breathed; and he never could see a woman, without coming up,
in that metaphysical way of his, and trying to interest her in him.
He was always laughing at women, but there never was a man who cared
more for them. From all that I could learn from Charles, he began
by making fun of her, and all at once he became perfectly infatuated
with her. I don't see why. I never could get Charles to tell me
anything remarkable that she said or did. She was simply a country
girl, with country ideas, and no sort of cultivation. Why, there
was _nothing_ to her. He's done the wisest thing he could by
taking her out to California. She never would have gone down, here.
I suppose James Staniford knew that as well as any of us; and if he
finds it worth while to bury himself with her there, we've no reason
to complain. She did _sing_, wonderfully; that is, her voice was
perfectly divine. But of course that's all over, now. She didn't seem
to care much for it; and she really knew so little of life that I
don't believe she could form the idea of an artistic career, or feel
that it was any sacrifice to give it up. James Staniford was not
worth any such sacrifice; but she couldn't know that either. She was
good, I suppose. She was very stiff, and she hadn't a word to say for
herself. I think she was cold. To be sure, she was a beauty; I really
never saw anything like it,--that pale complexion some brunettes have,
with her hair growing low, and such eyes and lashes!"

"Perhaps the beauty had something to do with his falling in love
with her," suggested a listener. The ladies present tried to look
as if this ought not to be sufficient.

"Oh, very likely," said Mrs. Dunham. She added, with an air of being
the wreck of her former self, "But we all know what becomes of
_beauty_ after marriage."

The mind of Lydia's friends had been expressed in regard to her
marriage, when the Stanifords, upon their arrival home from Europe,
paid a visit to South Bradfield. It was in the depths of the winter
following their union, and the hill country, stern and wild even in
midsummer, wore an aspect of savage desolation. It was sheeted in
heavy snow, through which here and there in the pastures, a craggy
bowlder lifted its face and frowned, and along the woods the stunted
pines and hemlocks blackened against a background of leafless oaks
and birches. A northwest wind cut shrill across the white wastes,
and from the crests of the billowed drifts drove a scud of stinging
particles in their faces, while the sun, as high as that of Italy,
coldly blazed from a cloudless blue sky. Ezra Perkins, perched on the
seat before them, stiff and silent as if he were frozen there, drove
them from Bradfield Junction to South Bradfield in the long wagon-body
set on bob-sleds, with which he replaced his Concord coach in winter.
At the station he had sparingly greeted Lydia, as if she were just
back from Greenfield, and in the interest of personal independence had
ignored a faint motion of hers to shake hands; at her grandfather's
gate, he set his passengers down without a word, and drove away,
leaving Staniford to get in his trunk as he might.

"Well, I declare," said Miss Maria, who had taken one end of the trunk
in spite of him, and was leading the way up through the path cleanly
blocked out of the snow, "that Ezra Perkins is enough to make you wish
he'd _stayed_ in Dakoty!"

Staniford laughed, as he had laughed at everything on the way
from the station, and had probably thus wounded Ezra Perkins's
susceptibilities. The village houses, separated so widely by the one
long street, each with its path neatly tunneled from the roadway to
the gate; the meeting-house, so much vaster than the present needs
of worship, and looking blue-cold with its never-renewed single coat
of white paint; the graveyard set in the midst of the village, and
showing, after Ezra Perkins's disappearance, as many signs of life
as any other locality, realized in the most satisfactory degree his
theories of what winter must be in such a place as South Bradfield.
The burning smell of the sheet-iron stove in the parlor, with its
battlemented top of filigree iron work; the grimness of the horsehair-
covered best furniture; the care with which the old-fashioned fire-
places had been walled up, and all accessible character of the period
to which the house belonged had been effaced, gave him an equal
pleasure. He went about with his arm round Lydia's waist, examining
these things, and yielding to the joy they caused him, when they
were alone. "Oh, my darling," he said, in one of these accesses of
delight, "when I think that it's my privilege to take you away from
all this, I begin to feel not so very unworthy, after all."

But he was very polite, as Miss Maria owned, when Mr. and Mrs. Goodlow
came in during the evening, with two or three unmarried ladies of
the village, and he kept them from falling into the frozen silence
which habitually expresses social enjoyment in South Bradfield when
strangers are present. He talked about the prospects of Italian
advancement to an equal state of intellectual and moral perfection
with rural New England, while Mr. Goodlow listened, rocking himself
back and forth in the hair-cloth arm-chair. Deacon Latham, passing
his hand continually along the stove battlements, now and then let
his fingers rest on the sheet-iron till he burnt them, and then
jerked them suddenly away, to put them, back the next moment, in his
absorbing interest. Miss Maria, amidst a murmur of admiration from
the ladies, passed sponge-cake and coffee: she confessed afterwards
that the evening had been so brilliant to her as to seem almost
wicked; and the other ladies, who owned to having lain awake all
night on her coffee, said that if they _had_ enjoyed themselves
they were properly punished for it.

When they were gone, and Lydia and Staniford had said good-night,
and Miss Maria, coming in from the kitchen with a hand-lamp for her
father, approached the marble-topped centre-table to blow out the
large lamp of pea-green glass with red woollen wick, which had shed
the full radiance of a sun-burner upon the festival, she faltered at
a manifest unreadiness in the old man to go to bed, though the fire
was low, and they had both resumed the drooping carriage of people
in going about cold houses. He looked excited, and, so far as his
unpracticed visage could intimate the emotion, joyous.

"Well, there, Maria!" he said. "You can't say but what he's a master-
hand to converse, any way. I'd know as I ever see Mr. Goodlow more
struck up with any one. He looked as if every word done him good; I
presume it put him in mind of meetin's with brother ministers: I don't
suppose but what he misses it some, here. You can't say but what he's
a fine appearin' young man. I d'know as I see anything wrong in his
kind of dressin' up to the nines, as you may say. As long's he's got
the money, I don't see what harm it is. It's all worked for good,
Lyddy's going out that way; though it did seem a mysterious providence
at the time."

"Well!" began Miss Maria. She paused, as if she had been hurried too
far by her feelings, and ought to give them a check before proceeding.
"Well, I don't presume you'd notice it, but she's got a spot on her
silk, so't a whole breadth's got to come out, and be let in again
bottom side up. I guess there's a pair of 'em, for carelessness."
She waited a moment before continuing: "I d'know as I like to see a
husband puttin' his arm round his wife, even when he don't suppose any
one's lookin'; but I d'know but what it's natural, too. But it's one
comfort to see't she ain't the least mite silly about _him_. He's
dreadful freckled." Miss Maria again paused thoughtfully, while her
father burnt his fingers on the stove for the last time, and took them
definitively away. "I don't say but what he talked well enough, as far
forth as talkin' _goes_; Mr. Goodlow said at the door't he didn't
know's he ever passed _many_ such evenin's since he'd been in
South Bradfield, and I d'know as _I_ have. I presume he has his
faults; we ain't any of us perfect; but he _does_ seem terribly
wrapped up in Lyddy. I don't say but what he'll make her a good
husband, if she must _have_ one. I don't suppose but what people
might think, as you may say, 't she'd made out pretty well; and if
Lyddy's suited, I d'know as anybody else has got any call to be over
particular."

THE END.






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Letter: Gender roles in the Cinderella story

Doctors assure us that wherever you find an elderly, pompous old writer long past his prime you will find a bottle of scotch nearby. If only that were the case. Hilly hid mine after I fell up the stairs when I came home from the Garrick yesterday, and I've had to make do with a bottle of Blue Nun I found in the maid's parlour. Not that I am an alcoholic. Dipsomaniacs are a breed of the lower orders you meet on street corners: people like myself are bon viveurs who happen to like a drink. Or 12.

My primary observation is that drinking makes the daily grind of dealing with people so much easier. You drink a pint of whisky and become the life and soul of the party. You then start insulting people, before sweating heavily and wetting yourself involuntarily. You will usually find that everyone quickly avoids you, thereby relieving you of the need to make conversation. This is why I prefer to do much of my drinking at home. It saves so much time.

There are a great many drinks on the market - spirits, wines and beers - and I've probably drunk them all. Usually in some kind of combination with one another. Mixing cocktails is one of my favourite hobbies. Here's one I invented last week for my great sycophant, Christopher Hitchens.

The Hitch

One bottle of Babycham

One bottle of absinthe

Five shots of Angostura very bitters

Two tablespoons of bile

Two or three glasses of this tincture can give you a lifetime of self-satisfaction.

At some time you will probably be forced to invite people to your home and they may expect a drink. My advice is to offer them the cheapest tipple you can find; my local off-licence does a ghastly Mosel at 70p a bottle. I've never cared for even the best wines, and this should guarantee those poncing off you neither ask for top-ups nor stay long, thereby leaving you more money and time for the pub.

It is well known that only the very dullest of petit-bourgeois minds fail to over-imbibe on a daily basis, so I regard hangovers as a price worth paying for my brilliance. That said, I have found ways of coping with this metaphysical malaise. The first is to fuck someone; preferably somebody else's wife, but if your own is the only one around then she will do. The second is to read a book by that little shit Mart; it will either remind you you're not that bad a writer or give you some sleep.

The one downside to drinking is that it can make you fat. This is remedied by cutting out food entirely and drinking all spirits without mixers. My weight has gone down to 19st with this diet. There isn't much more to say, but as I'm being paid by the column I'd better repeat myself. And now that I'm dead, there's no harm in Bloomsbury repackaging the same material several times in the same collection.

I don't really like wine. Gin is for pansies, though a snifter with water doesn't go amiss. Liqueurs are best left to patent-shoed Wops. Or Americans. Champagne is an overrated girl's drink, though it can be drunk with any food; as such, it's a perfect breakfast drink because a scotch before 10am is very non-U.

I loathe pubs with loud music, but my utmost detestation is reserved for sanctimonious ex-topers. There's nothing worse than a man who doesn't drink. I once tried not drinking for several hours and my wives and mistresses said how dull it was that I was conscious and they were spared removing my soiled trousers from my bloated legs.

Whisky is my favourite tipple, though I recommend never giving it to a Welshman as it's wasted on someone with an IQ of less than 80. Have I mentioned that I'm partial to a Macallan? Gosh is that the time? Hilly's coming to change my IV drip before I fall unconscious again. The publisher can bloody well pad out the rest of the book with a pointless quiz without me.

Q: Who will buy this?

A: No one.

The digested read digested: The old pub bore.

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Jury clears judge of libelling mother
Sales of 'misery memoirs' fall after they boomed beyond all expectations since Dave Pelzer wrote A Child Called It

Constance Briscoe wins Ugly libel case

A judge who was sued for libel by her mother over allegations of childhood cruelty and neglect in her bestselling "misery memoir" won her case yesterday.

Constance Briscoe burst into tears at the high court in London as a jury unanimously cleared her and publishers Hodder & Stoughton over the claims in Ugly, which her mother Carmen Briscoe-Mitchell, 74, had alleged were a "piece of fiction".

During the 10-day trial, Briscoe, 51, who was one of the first black women judges in the UK, told the court her mother repeatedly beat her with a stick for bed-wetting and called her a "dirty little whore", a "potato-head" and "miss piss-a-bed".

She described trying to kill herself by drinking diluted bleach after failing to get taken into care, and told the jury she used a university grant to have plastic surgery to remove the "ugliness" her mother had taunted her over.

Briscoe, of Clapham, south London, also said that when she was nine, her mother had deliberately cut her on the inside of her arm with a knife in a row over the preparation of a chicken.

Ugly, published in 2006, has sold more than 400,000 copies in the UK. Briscoe and Hodder & Stoughton had denied libel and said the book was substantially true. Andrew Caldecott QC, for Briscoe, said the events occurred between 1964 and 1975.

Briscoe-Mitchell, from Southwark, south-east London, left court without making any immediate comment about her legal defeat. During the trial she had denied all the allegations of verbal and physical abuse and claimed she and her daughter had enjoyed a loving relationship within a happy family.

Her counsel, William Panton, told the jury Briscoe was "spinning a yarn", claiming his client had struggled to bring up her 11 children and had provided for them equally to the best of her ability.

Outside court, Briscoe told reporters she was "very happy" with the jury's verdict, which came after more than a day of deliberation.

"It is sad that my mother still feels the need to pursue me," she said. "Now I just want to get on with my career. I would like to thank all my readers who have sent me messages of support, including the very many children who provided helpful advice.

"I can quite understand why my family went into collective denial but whilst child abuse may be committed behind closed doors it should never be swept under the carpet."

Hodder & Stoughton said it was pleased with the verdict. "We are very proud to be Constance Briscoe's publisher," a statement said. "Her books Ugly and Beyond Ugly have touched hundreds of thousands of readers, many of them children. Sadly, as we know from the news over the past few weeks, child abuse is all too common and nothing and no one should ever stand in the way of the truth."

Asked during the trial why she wrote the book, Briscoe said: "I didn't believe for a split second that I owed my mother a bond of silence. I don't. I had a story to tell and that story really is that I, someone who from dirt poverty, from absolutely nowhere, with absolutely no assistance whatsoever, who faced adversity at every turn, could come through."

The court heard she had cleaned offices for two hours every day before school until her studies took her to Newcastle University, the criminal bar and, eventually, to become one of the country's few black women judges.

"I wanted to say to whoever read the book ... you can be whatever you want to be," Briscoe said. "You just have to believe in yourself ... you do not have to be posh or privileged to be at the Bar.

"You just need to believe in yourself and I truly, truly believe that my book has done an enormous amount of good."

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